DebraLee Posted March 31, 2004 Share Posted March 31, 2004 Sometimes I wonder what to do about my husband of 3 months. I got involved with him when I was divorced and living with another man. We dated and lived with one another for 3 years now. He has brought about some great changes in me. I really felt I picked the right person to share life with and that would bring me so much happiness, comfort and support. One of the problems is that he is very insecure with me all the time. He keeps me from really having friends at times and if I'm not at his beck and call he is like accusing me of seein "my boyfriend". He checks my email. He snoops around like he is gonna find something on me. If there are strange phone calls to the house then its "my boyfriend". If I have to go somewhere...Im seeing "my boyfriend". I dont know what to do. I mean when we got together I left this guy who had a real control problem. He helped me see it and told me how it SHOULDN"T be that way. It was not easy to leave that situation. When we first got together we lived in this shack for while and gave up living in a beautiful home. I planned our wedding without any help what so ever from him. Had big birthday parties for him. I would do anything for him. I have been doing a lot as far as for my 3 step daughters. I would say I do MORE than he and his ex do for them. It just seems that doing all that I do and taking care of our large family (5 Children) and our home ands bills. {well if your a woman at home you know what I mean.} AND I have a very tempermental 2 year old that is joined to my hip. I get very overwhelmed by all that I do. I also suffer form anxiety and this all gets to be very hard. He constantly complains every night he comes home from work and it ends up where I feel like he sees everything that is wrong and it turns out to be my fault. I don't know what to do anymore to be a supporter or a good marriage partner anymore. I just feel like I'm not good enough for him. Ive tried telling him all of this and we just end up arguing all the time. He even complains that we aren't having enough sex yet how can I feel good about myself to want to. Now he NEEDS me to get a job. Am I getting in over my head??? Will I end up losing it?? The pressure of everything is getting to be too much. Any advice? Link to post Share on other sites
moimeme Posted April 1, 2004 Share Posted April 1, 2004 Isn't it fun when you finally take up housekeeping with the dream prince and he turns into a frog? Would he see a counsellor with you? They can provide outside insight to a couple on how they're relating and how things can be improved. It might be worth a shot. Link to post Share on other sites
Arabess Posted April 1, 2004 Share Posted April 1, 2004 Originally posted by moimeme Isn't it fun when you finally take up housekeeping with the dream prince and he turns into a frog? PRICELESS Moimeme!!!! DebraLee, All you can do is all you can do. If it isn't enough for him, then he either needs to work out a compromise with you or find someone else to manage his life and his kids. To live in a situation where someone is constantly telling you that you aren't contributing enough, when you ARE, just brings about constant bickering. It'll drive you nuts. Maybe try some counselling, talk to him, put your foot down about him harping on you daily and IF he doesn't change his behavior.....make your next decision. Link to post Share on other sites
Author DebraLee Posted April 1, 2004 Author Share Posted April 1, 2004 I eventually got mine into counselling. What a crock of sh*t THAT was. He snowed the counsellor, so it was a complete waste of time. Here's my advice on "counselling"...that only works if both parties see a problem and have the desire to fix things. If only one sees the problems, then it's a waste of time It sounds Like Kathleen and I have something in common and yet everyone that talks to her says the same thing Im thinking. Link to post Share on other sites
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