Blueberry's Healing Log

[Blueberry7691]

I've been feeling great these past few days. I hardly think about him and when I do, it's usually thoughts of 'Glad it's over' and 'I deserve better!'.

 

My new theme song. You gotta listen to it.

 

[Blueberry7691]

Haven't been thinking about him much so that's good. But this morning, I thought about the relationship and came up with....

 

unhealthy,toxic,codependent,addictive to name a few.

 

The one thing that I've always felt is that I'm glad it's over!!!

 

I have absolutely no desire to contact him. I keep thinking how I deserve sooo much more than what he has to offer which is NOTHING.

 

His birthday is 4 weeks away and I don't think I'll be wishing him a happy b'day. What's the point? I'm sure he'll expect it. Oh well...

 

Reasons for not contacting him:

 

1. I deserve better.

2. I need to move on.

3. It'll only set me back like it has a million times before.

4. He has nothing to tell me.

5. I want to forget about him.

 

These are only a few.

 

I feel sooo much better lately.

 

I got rid of all those email accounts so if he emails me, I won't get it. He doesn't dare text my phone. We still have that Youtube account but I got rid of all my songs and I'm not going to add anything so it seems I disappeared.

 

I can't believe it took me so long to finally get out of that relationship.

Toxic, Addictive, Codependent!!! NO THANKS!

[Blueberry7691]

It has been 1 week short of 5 months since the break up. I've had my ups and downs!!! It truly has been an emotional rollarcoaster.

 

I have to say that recently I have been feeling wonderful and alive again!

 

I can't help but think how glad I am the relationship is over. Now that I have my life back, my soul, I don't want to go back to that dark place ever again!!

 

I get very excited when I think of the future and how I'll be living my life to the fullest in peace. I'm so grateful to have gotten to this place.

 

I can't imagine ever getting back with him. It would never be a better place for me. This is a better place for me.

 

I'm so glad he hasn't contacted me. He has helped me soo much to move on and he doesn't even know it.

 

I will probably see him in 3 weeks because we'll be at the same function. I'm not sure if we'll get the chance to talk, but if we do, I will be polite, and keep it short. And if we don't speak, even better!!!

 

Life IS good. Life is what you make of it. Don't dwell on the negative, let it go. Focus on good things, on happiness, on yourself.

Life is too short for us to wallow in self-pity, asking why, and wondering where it all went wrong. Yes, we should learn from our mistakes but we have to keep moving forward.

 

I've made some changes since the break up and I'm glad I did. I cut down on my drinking for one! I used to drink every single day. I think it had to do with the stress of it all. Now I'll have a couple of drinks on the weekend, or if I go out with friends. Other than that, I don't feel the need to cling to that booze for comfort.

 

I've also been going to the gym more and taking care of myself. It makes me feel great when I exercise my body and I do it for ME!!! YAY FOR ME!!

 

I've learned a lot from this experience. I went back with him several times out of guilt and because I felt sorry for hurting him. BIG MISTAKE!!! I wasn't doing anyone any good.

 

I realized he's just a selfish man. It's all about him and his needs. He took me for granted. Well, that will never do!!

 

I know it's killing him that I'm not reaching out. One thing he's always said is that he wants us to be able to talk. Why would I want to talk to him? I have nothing left to say.

 

Well, life DOES go on!!!