vikkid234 Posted March 14, 2011 Share Posted March 14, 2011 hello im a scorpio im 28 years old and having a long distance relationship with this older aries man whos actually 54. i must say everyhthing that was writtin is true. the relationship/sex life is so strong and our feelings for each other are just as strong. now i have an issue that i really need some advice on. Right now we have a long distance relationship while hes filiming and fishing in the amazon/congo etc, im usually traveling the world as well (i model) so basically to make the long story short we started our relationship over online just about 2 months ago we finally met but the hole time that we didnt meet i was sending pictures of someone else rather then of me (but sending pics that resemble a bit of me) and just recently after meeting he had called me really upset basically telling me that he doesnt think that its me in the pics ive sent which now makes him question really on who i am. now the only reason ive been sending fake photos of myself was for professinol security reason, because my photo a few years ago was taken and put on a porn website which eneded up in a law suit, so i was just trying to be safe, and once i relized after meeting him that we truly have deep feelings for each other , thats when i was really scared to explain to him first before he would find out that those arent really me for a reason. but now he told me thats hes not mad at me hes HURT. do you think he can forgive me for this? he thinks im not really who i say i am because of those pics, hes also doubting my career which everything is true the only thing that wasnt true was the pics. but i only did that for my security!!! wwhat do i do? you think its over? please someone help me!!! i dont want to lose this guy Link to post Share on other sites
brebre Posted March 14, 2011 Share Posted March 14, 2011 So you;ve met in person? Well, the relationship has already started off wrong, that's pretty hard to recover from. A foundation built on deception. Continue to ask him what you need to do to prove that you are the real thing, and since you have met and trust him, there is no more need to lie. GOod luck to you! Link to post Share on other sites
folieadeux Posted March 14, 2011 Share Posted March 14, 2011 This relationship started off based on lies, which is not an easy thing to fix, even under the best of circumstances. I know hindsight is twenty-twenty but, rather than sending pictures of someone else, you should have just been upfront with him and told him you weren't able to send pictures of yourself for security reasons at the time. I think you have to ask yourself too whether or not this is even worth it at this point if you feel you'll have to spend the majority of your relationship making things up to him. Link to post Share on other sites
Author vikkid234 Posted March 14, 2011 Author Share Posted March 14, 2011 how did everything start off with lies? everything ive ever told him was always true everything! period! and before meeting him i didnt want to put my busniess out there(letting him know about my past lawsuits etc) conidering that what if he wasnt who he said he was and so for my security until i met him i wanted to make sure im safe, if that makes any kind of sense so no the relationship DID NOT staRt off with lies everything has been true to the T except for photos, i was instructed NOT to ever send photos through email ever again. You guys must understand i have a hard time trusting people when it comes to my "personal personal" life and so when im relizing that i just met this great guy who kind of has the same life style of me and im just not used to that....period...i dont know what else to say...i was scare... i was scared to tell him im scared he wont understand thats all.... Link to post Share on other sites
spice4life Posted March 14, 2011 Share Posted March 14, 2011 how did everything start off with lies? everything ive ever told him was always true everything! period! and before meeting him i didnt want to put my busniess out there(letting him know about my past lawsuits etc) conidering that what if he wasnt who he said he was and so for my security until i met him i wanted to make sure im safe, if that makes any kind of sense so no the relationship DID NOT staRt off with lies everything has been true to the T except for photos, i was instructed NOT to ever send photos through email ever again. You guys must understand i have a hard time trusting people when it comes to my "personal personal" life and so when im relizing that i just met this great guy who kind of has the same life style of me and im just not used to that....period...i dont know what else to say...i was scare... i was scared to tell him im scared he wont understand thats all.... The only thing you can do is come clean. Tell him what you just told us here and that you were afraid he wouldn't understand. See how he reacts and then let the chips fall where they may. Personally, I would not be upset if someone had a really good explanation and had evidence to back up the story. Let him know that you can back it up, you were just scared due to the past. If he really likes you then he will understand, plus, when someone is sincere it shows when they are telling the story. Link to post Share on other sites
Author vikkid234 Posted March 14, 2011 Author Share Posted March 14, 2011 (edited) yea i basically wrote him an email explaining everything concidering right now hes in brazil filming he has no access to a computer except a satalite phone which he has called me on but told me if he cant call me this week that he will call me when he gets home which is suppose to be either friday or this coming saturday. hes been gone for 5 weeks and the total of letters ive wrritin so far has been 3 explaining eveyuthing to him and hoping he can understand. does anyone think he will call?? concidering weve only spoken oce over the phone about this ever.. Edited March 14, 2011 by vikkid234 Link to post Share on other sites
Author vikkid234 Posted March 15, 2011 Author Share Posted March 15, 2011 im scared that because he didnt call this past week like hes been doing for the past 4 weeks (although he told me if he couldnt call because due to it being the last 2 weeks its intense filming etc that he would call me when he gets home which is sometime this weekend) that he wont call me at all because hes really upset. Ever since we met hes been calling me everyday contacting skyping every single day up until he had this upcoming trip which then i onlly started hearing from him at least once a week by the satilite phone and one email from the companys computer (concidering there in the jungle he couldnt bring hes own pesonal computer) which he then told me not to email because something had happend that he didnt want to get into the story about why and thats when he started telling me thats hes been up through the nights for the past couple of weeks thinking, and basically telling me that things arent matching up right that he doesnt think i say who i say i am because the pics arent matching up that he was questioning me about weather i have a twin sister or not and my assitant etc which how in the world can i lie about haveing a twin sister???!!! thats crazy. so anyway basicall he said hes not mad but hes hurt! that he really likes who i am that he had such a good time when he was with me etc but hes hurt....you guys think he will call and want to work this out? Link to post Share on other sites
spice4life Posted March 15, 2011 Share Posted March 15, 2011 Sounds like he just needs some time. Pull back and give him his space and go from there. However, in the meantime, keep yourself crazy busy so it doesn't occupy your mind 24/7. A guy will usually say what they mean and all you can do is respect his request. He just may need some time to process this. Sorry you are going through this right now. I know it hurts when you are really interested in getting to know someone. Link to post Share on other sites
Author vikkid234 Posted March 15, 2011 Author Share Posted March 15, 2011 You think though concidering where talking about a grown man here whos 54 years old you would think that the last phone call he would of told me that he didnt want to contiune this right? Link to post Share on other sites
TokyoG33kyGal Posted March 15, 2011 Share Posted March 15, 2011 how did everything start off with lies? everything ive ever told him was always true everything! period! and before meeting him i didnt want to put my busniess out there(letting him know about my past lawsuits etc) conidering that what if he wasnt who he said he was and so for my security until i met him i wanted to make sure im safe, if that makes any kind of sense so no the relationship DID NOT staRt off with lies everything has been true to the T except for photos, i was instructed NOT to ever send photos through email ever again. You guys must understand i have a hard time trusting people when it comes to my "personal personal" life and so when im relizing that i just met this great guy who kind of has the same life style of me and im just not used to that....period...i dont know what else to say...i was scare... i was scared to tell him im scared he wont understand thats all.... how can you say the pic you gave him was fake and not believe what you said was a lie? i am confused! but i have to agree with folieadeux Link to post Share on other sites
Author vikkid234 Posted March 15, 2011 Author Share Posted March 15, 2011 well thats true but people who assume things usually make an ass out of them selfs. how can he even question yet if he hasnt even been ale to really see my life style we only met once i understand if we were together for years and years and hes wondering why im not bringin gm ytwin sister around or why im not bringing him to any of my shoots then i can understand but thats not the case Link to post Share on other sites
Author vikkid234 Posted March 15, 2011 Author Share Posted March 15, 2011 and keep in mind we did sleep togther Link to post Share on other sites
spice4life Posted March 15, 2011 Share Posted March 15, 2011 You think though concidering where talking about a grown man here whos 54 years old you would think that the last phone call he would of told me that he didnt want to contiune this right? Would seem so. Do you know him well enough to determine that he would tell you it's over? If he would, then it is more than likely he is upset and is trying to figure things out. No? Link to post Share on other sites
Author vikkid234 Posted March 15, 2011 Author Share Posted March 15, 2011 yes i highly doubt he would want to waste time concidering how busy he is etc, i know also hes extremly busy and he did warn me that the last two weeks would be intense etc so i understand but i just keep hearing him saying how hes hurt and basically confused....i dont know , i just hope he can give me a chance to explain myself to him concidering the first time i couldnt because i was scared and plus i felt rushed cause he kept saying he couldnt stay log on the phone. Now that things are out on the table i have no other choice but to at least to tell him everything and why it was for my own saftey and pray he understands but first i should pray that he gives me that chance to explian. Link to post Share on other sites
brebre Posted March 15, 2011 Share Posted March 15, 2011 Ok, doll. HEre is my spin on it. I wasnt trying to be rude or anything, but fake pics are deceptive. This is how I feel. If I meet a guy online, and I ask for photos (because he only has one on his profile and it looks a little too porfessional), I will def ask for more, because there are 2 red flags. 1. only has one pic, 2. a professional pic that obviously was not done at JCPennys..... there are so many cons out there. I saw on Dateline a few years ago saying how most of those Nigerian Con artist would post a pic of a model they found online and perpetrate as it was them. Ok, my next point, how would you feel if the pic you got of a guy was a pretty nice looking guy, not too good looking, but def not UNattractive, and you spent the next few months having a wonderful time with him. You guys write romantic letters, send texts, tell each other goodnight, talk about your Uncle Curtis that always gets drunk at fam get togethers.... and when you finally meet him, its not a 6'0, 185, cute pie, instead, he is TOTALLY different: 5'0, 216 lbs, bald, and several missing teeth (no offense anyone). Now I know my example is to the extreme, but with men, trust is usually a one time shot. And trust me, he felt deceived! No matter how pretty you are in real life, he felt deceived. Men dont think like we do. See being a woman, if we get a pic of a guy, and he's nice looking, but IRL, he is a Terrell Owens clone, we are like YES!!!!!!!!! He is much finer than the pic! But men look /think differently, its more like what the heck??? She lied to me..... Link to post Share on other sites
Author vikkid234 Posted March 15, 2011 Author Share Posted March 15, 2011 i get your point, and i do understand...maybe your right although if thats the case then if he thinks i "lied" rather then understand it was for my own safety then i suppose hes not worth it, but im hoping a grown man his age would understand if not then his loss. This hole thing just has me emtionally drianed, i promised myself i wouldnt cry over this man, that i would be strong about it, but it looks like im letting my emotions get the best of me and i just honestly cant help myself. If he thinks that by having a short one time conversation about this sisuation will give him answers? i didnt even get the chance to even really say really what the siuation was just because he couldnt talk long on the satilite phone concidering its for emergencys only!....whatever then, like i said hes loss...... im just angry/hurt/sad/ everything!! Link to post Share on other sites
Kelter82 Posted March 15, 2011 Share Posted March 15, 2011 Try to be fair to him. I have to be honest, even if someone gave me a good explaination for fake pics and was able to back it up with some sort of proof I'd be a little weary that he were either a REALLY good liar or simply a man with a lot of complications, and when you're just entering a relationship those are two heavy things to have to deal with. You want that early stage to be light and easy. That said, you did meet him. You were honest in that regard. And it is possible that he will get over this "deception" (it really is deception as you led him to believe something that was untrue, despite a good reason. certainly you did not do this to cause any harm). Just give him some time and space, and he just might come around. As previously mentioned, keep busy. Keeping busy has been my absolute saving grace whenever I've been at my emotional worst. That, and go for walks. They give you time to think but somehow make you more rational and serene... Wish you the best. Link to post Share on other sites
Author vikkid234 Posted March 15, 2011 Author Share Posted March 15, 2011 (edited) your right and thanks for the advice, although it was never my intentions to hurt him or even lie to him, but i understand what you mean and your right.i mean he does seem like a sincir man hes a very sweet understanding man from what ive seen and such,so hopfully he can understand and we can move on from this maddness and just start over fresh! it would kill me to know that i have lost something so good over stupid pictures it would reallly kill me in that sense. But also keep in mind guys before meeting him i didnt know if it was really him or just someone wanting to be him and that also another reason as to why fake pics were being sent. so how can he blame me? Edited March 15, 2011 by vikkid234 Link to post Share on other sites
Asami Posted March 15, 2011 Share Posted March 15, 2011 The only thing you can do is come clean. Tell him what you just told us here and that you were afraid he wouldn't understand. See how he reacts and then let the chips fall where they may. Personally, I would not be upset if someone had a really good explanation and had evidence to back up the story. Let him know that you can back it up, you were just scared due to the past. If he really likes you then he will understand, plus, when someone is sincere it shows when they are telling the story. This is really good advice.OP, I think what the other poster was trying to say was that there was a bit of deception with send pics of someone else.. Link to post Share on other sites
Author vikkid234 Posted March 16, 2011 Author Share Posted March 16, 2011 thanks i agree...well lets see if he will call me when he gets home this weekend after he reads hes emails and stuff...wish me luck guys hopefully this man isnt just some heartless ******* Link to post Share on other sites
Author vikkid234 Posted March 17, 2011 Author Share Posted March 17, 2011 so here i am sitting here again except this time in tears! ive been waking up every early morning for some reason and i just wake up wanting to cry and thats all i do all morning thrughout the day im just sooo sad BUT whats odd is that when i think about weather jeremy is going to calll i dont really get upset , i almost have this settling feeling in my stomach as if my body knows hes going to call and im trying to tell myself not to listen to it and basically prepare myself for the worst to come. i will be so devasted and hurt if he turns away from this. after all this time he made me believe he made me a stonger person he opened my eyes to alot of things and if now just wants to leave me on the side of the road in the dumps basically then yes i will be hurt but then again he can go **** himself for taking advantage Link to post Share on other sites
spice4life Posted March 17, 2011 Share Posted March 17, 2011 Maybe he's afraid to call since so much time has passed? That happened to me once and when I did finally call I got the shocker of my life. Is there anything in your explanation that he is afraid to hear and thinks it might make him hurt even more? Link to post Share on other sites
brebre Posted March 17, 2011 Share Posted March 17, 2011 Don't beat yourseld up honey. Its' starting to look like a situation where maybe all of this is him and not you. I didn't want to mention it before, but it sounded to me that you were making a lot of excuses for him not making time for you. This situation maybe his "out" to get out of it. Maybe he is living a double life, maybe he is married or somehting. I had a loser bf that never really wanted the relationship, so he pretty much sat back and waited on me to do somting just so he could have an excuse to leave. In realationships, someone is bound to do something to ruin the dynamics of the sweet euphoric phase of the new relationship. How you get pass the drama shows just how strong your commitment is to each other. You sound so sweet and loving and I can almost hear the hurt in your words. You dont need his drama. Not this early. Time to look for a new man... Link to post Share on other sites
Author vikkid234 Posted March 18, 2011 Author Share Posted March 18, 2011 Listen guys im going to be honest with you here ok....imm not making exscuses for him as to why he doesnt put more time. Like i he travels the world filming etc . as a matter of fact maybe you guys have even seen his show on animal planet?? called River Monsters. so i UNDERSTAND that we wouldnt be able to see each other every single day etc but the man has put time in for me conncidering how busy he is he WOULD NOT waste any time . i believe that if he just wanted a pieace of ass then he would of been gone a loooong time ago . what was amazing me was that ever since we met HE would call me every single day , skypeing etc we came to an agreement that we want to see each other again that we enjoyed each others company etc. he was telling me he had such an amazing time that im somuch fun in so many ways, hes been thinking about me non stop and that he misses me and of course he always made it well known that he does CARE about me even in the last phone call he made it clear. So i dont know if hes scared to call or what , im just so confused. Also in the emails i wrote to him was explaining EVERYTHING as why i sent false pics to him but also explaining that i never wanted to hurt him that i wasnt sure if he would understand that the reason i couldnt and wont send pics of myself is because the last time i got myself involoved with this photograpgher to make the long story short ended up rapeing me and useing my photos on a porn site which of course eneded up in a lawsuit but this was years ago but im still tramatized by it ,and all i keep hearing in my head is the judge saying to me "Dont ever send pictrues over emails texts, if you need to send of someone else resembling you then so be it, youd rather be safe then sorry!". so if he cant understand that then maybe he really didnt give a **** about me. BUT also Guys keep in mind in our last conversation when he brought this up i didnt get to tell him the truth at first i kept denyingit because i felt like he was rushing me but then i said to him that there are a fews things yes that you should know that should be spoken about in person NOT on the phone and he agreed\.. ooh god i dont know well if he doesnt call after this weekend then......im going to still try because thats not right over one phone call you want to bring something up and i couldnt even talk about it because he was in a rush and then think oh **** her? .....omg im just so sick to my stomach ....he couldnt even call me for these two last weeks? this really hurts you guys.....like why? what did i do soo wrong? Link to post Share on other sites
Author vikkid234 Posted March 18, 2011 Author Share Posted March 18, 2011 Maybe he's afraid to call since so much time has passed? That happened to me once and when I did finally call I got the shocker of my life. Is there anything in your explanation that he is afraid to hear and thinks it might make him hurt even more? what do you mean you got the shocker call?? what happend? Link to post Share on other sites
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