yes Posted March 31, 2004 Share Posted March 31, 2004 as i was typing my post abt my ex, it occurred to me that with the guy i really liked before him, i went through less but the same kind of analyzing/obsessing/etc ... i wish i could be more accepting of what happens - things don't work out -> oh well, think about it a BIT and look on forward. if the pain comes back, deal with it by distracting yourself or even trying to try again, but whatever happens, accepting what's going on as part of life, as opposed to a disasterous hell on earth. i guess my question is - have any of you learned not to obsess over losses and take it easier? or it just a feature of personality that cannot be changed? (i'll try to change it anyway, but curious...) Link to post Share on other sites
hurtingandconfused Posted March 31, 2004 Share Posted March 31, 2004 I just went through some pictures of my ex and I. At first I could not handle it. But it's all in my head. I was able to look back to those wonderful times we had without breaking down. You view the past as you want to. Why make yourself dwell on the past? You make your own happiness, as well as your own depression/sadness. I believe that change is possible for anything/everything. It just takes time to adjust to those changes. Impossible is nothing. Link to post Share on other sites
miz_barby Posted March 31, 2004 Share Posted March 31, 2004 I agree that you can't dwell in the past....though it may fill like you're dying inside when a relationship ends..they always say that "an ex is an ex for a reason" and that things always happen for a reason and though neither of these sayings ever ease the pain I'm sure in the future soon you will find someone who will be everything you want her to be and who will love and adore you and treat you the way I'm sure you deserve to be treated and as far as ex's go...they usually get what they deserve in the end.....Karma always catches up to everyone! Link to post Share on other sites
SCK- Posted April 1, 2004 Share Posted April 1, 2004 as time goes by, the pain and hurt goes away Link to post Share on other sites
Arabess Posted April 1, 2004 Share Posted April 1, 2004 I spent some time thinking about this Yes.....and I really think it depends on what the relationship means to someone as to how long they obsess over it. I'm using the word obsess not as being negative....but as finding it hard to pinpoint what went wrong, what could've been done differently, asking if it really was a concrete relationship or some f*ck fluff or what??? Some people zoom past this process and grab up the next person who comes along.....while others really do have a long 'reflective' period. It's an individual choice which does reflect the emotional makeup of the person who is making that choice. I do think there is a fine line between giving yourself sufficient time to get over someone and dragging around the memory like the baggage from hell. At some point....you have to come to grips with yourself that it's over and it's time to let go of all the 'what if's'. I think you will know when that time is. Link to post Share on other sites
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