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EMDR to cure Retroactive Jealousy


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tryingtocurerj

I joined this forum after seeing a post about EMDR to help the affects from retroactive jealousy (by dreamingoftigers). It's definitely in ME and not about the people I date's past's because it doesn't matter who it is or what they've done, there's always something that my brain obsessing about involving their past. I've received a form of rapid eye therapy and I was on high hopes but it didn't do much for me. So I was curious just how EMDR differs from Rapid Eye and if it helps and if anyone has any testimonials about it. Thanks a ton!

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of course it's you - sort of -

 

I mean, yes you control your thoughts (sort of) and your thoughts shape your reality but if I walk up and punch you in the face try imaging happy thoughts that it didn't happen ;) the same as if you have gone through certain experiences in the past or developed unhelpful patterns (we all do) and if someone comes along and behaves in a way that triggers those patterns....you know what happens.

 

I've trained in IEMT which has foundations of EMDR, part of that training is experiencing it and I 100% endorse it...should use it on why I flip-flap NC but I understand why I do what I do.

 

Would you say you are a jealous person or you get jealous?

 

One is about emotion the other about personal identity. The problem can overlap.

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tryingtocurerj
of course it's you - sort of -

 

I mean, yes you control your thoughts (sort of) and your thoughts shape your reality but if I walk up and punch you in the face try imaging happy thoughts that it didn't happen ;) the same as if you have gone through certain experiences in the past or developed unhelpful patterns (we all do) and if someone comes along and behaves in a way that triggers those patterns....you know what happens.

 

I've trained in IEMT which has foundations of EMDR, part of that training is experiencing it and I 100% endorse it...should use it on why I flip-flap NC but I understand why I do what I do.

 

Would you say you are a jealous person or you get jealous?

 

One is about emotion the other about personal identity. The problem can overlap.

 

The only things that RJ tears me apart with is my girlfriends past. As far as being jealous of current things or things that happen involving her and other guys not at all. I'm secure about how things are now.

 

I'll relate my desire to get EMDR for this to another experience I had.

 

When I was a teen I did drugs (meth) with a much older guy and something happened between us. When I sobered up I couldn't get it off my mind, I was depressed for a year and every day it was all I thought about from the moment I woke up to the moment I fell asleep. I got rapid eye therapy and it completely cleared it up.

 

I want the same for RJ. It's just my girlfriends past that is on my mind every moment of the day. It's a matter of it being there and hanging in there & one day it'll go away or feeling of it utterly destroying me. I really just want to not think about it anymore, so if the sting is gone, I wouldn't have reason to have it on my mind at all times. So I want EMDR to take the sting of RJ away the same way it took care of my other problem.

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EMDR may help you come to terms with issues that trigger RJ.

We attach emotions to events and as time passes we may come to terms with those events but not the emotions associated with it. EMDR may help you with that.

For instance; if you where bullied by someone when you where young & someone your gf was with reminds you of that bully, you may FEEL insecurity. So it's that old FEELING that you rationalized that you now need to come to terms with. Thats the best example I could come up with on short notice. EMDR works great but you need to be honest with yourself & be willing to work on, "feelings", the ones that you have rationalized but may still haunt you from time to time. EMDR was developed to work with PTSD but works well for many other emotional issues as well. Give it a shot.

Keep in mind, not everyone feels the same way about sex, for some it's physical, others emotional, still others it's a spiritual union, or any combination and often varying combinations with the same person at different times, hopefully.

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tryingtocurerj
EMDR may help you come to terms with issues that trigger RJ.

We attach emotions to events and as time passes we may come to terms with those events but not the emotions associated with it. EMDR may help you with that.

For instance; if you where bullied by someone when you where young & someone your gf was with reminds you of that bully, you may FEEL insecurity. So it's that old FEELING that you rationalized that you now need to come to terms with. Thats the best example I could come up with on short notice. EMDR works great but you need to be honest with yourself & be willing to work on, "feelings", the ones that you have rationalized but may still haunt you from time to time. EMDR was developed to work with PTSD but works well for many other emotional issues as well. Give it a shot.

Keep in mind, not everyone feels the same way about sex, for some it's physical, others emotional, still others it's a spiritual union, or any combination and often varying combinations with the same person at different times, hopefully.

 

I'm willing to give anything a shot. If EMDR can help with the feeling I'm looking forward to it. Is there any varying degrees of EMDR facilitators? Or will it generally be the same across the board?

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tryingtocurerj
I have ony been to one, do you have PM capabilities yet?

 

I do not believe so.. How do I get them?! Just keep posting I'm assuming?

 

 

Here's a question I have about EMDR.

 

Let's say something triggers a fit in RJ. Like something happened with your spouse in a blue truck. So every time you see a blue truck, it takes you back to that, will EMDR help with these anchors?

 

Right now for me some HUGE problems are anything that has to do with the month March, and anything that has to do with Utah. And certain names. Names that are really hard to avoid during the day. I really want to be freed from this

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I do not believe so.. How do I get them?! Just keep posting I'm assuming?

 

 

Here's a question I have about EMDR.

 

Let's say something triggers a fit in RJ. Like something happened with your spouse in a blue truck. So every time you see a blue truck, it takes you back to that, will EMDR help with these anchors?

 

Right now for me some HUGE problems are anything that has to do with the month March, and anything that has to do with Utah. And certain names. Names that are really hard to avoid during the day. I really want to be freed from this

 

I have the same issue with names like "Wisconsin" and "Kate." I should look into this too.

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dreamingoftigers
I do not believe so.. How do I get them?! Just keep posting I'm assuming?

 

 

Here's a question I have about EMDR.

 

Let's say something triggers a fit in RJ. Like something happened with your spouse in a blue truck. So every time you see a blue truck, it takes you back to that, will EMDR help with these anchors?

 

Right now for me some HUGE problems are anything that has to do with the month March, and anything that has to do with Utah. And certain names. Names that are really hard to avoid during the day. I really want to be freed from this

 

Yes, individual triggers become desensitized, for instance my father triggered fear, anxiety, anger etc. Very heavily. EMDR made it so that all of that went away. It was like a miracle. It us very very intense though, but don't let that scare you. The average person takes 3-4 sessions to feel the effects. I am one of the 5% that felt change after session one. My sugar cravings even went way down.

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dreamingoftigers

March sucks for me too, and for awhile Chevy Vans. The biggest trigger so far has been empty rooms because that's how I realized that my grandmother (primary caregiver) was gone.

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dreamingoftigers

I would think maybe but only in the sense that you smoke due to emotional dependency or trauma.

 

Considering it is an addictive substance, it may very well help with that BUT it does seem to be an expensive way to go about it (unless you have childhood "stuff" or trauma).

 

My husband did a laser treatment to quit smoking about 5.5 years ago. 45 mins, $200. Cured. Hasn't smoked since.

 

The cravings come back after a bit by they are much much lighter and easier to deal with and eventually they all but disappear.

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tryingtocurerj
March sucks for me too, and for awhile Chevy Vans. The biggest trigger so far has been empty rooms because that's how I realized that my grandmother (primary caregiver) was gone.

 

ahhh, I want to PM you so I can ask some questions in depth. So did Chevy Vans have something to do with your husband? and it's gone?! I just can't stop thinking of my SO with someone else, and I wish I didn't know details, it just haunts me constantly. It unrelentingly NEVER goes away.. just when certain things like Utah or a certain name I come across EVERYWHERE the anxiety just gets more intense.. EMDR can help?!

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dreamingoftigers
ahhh, I want to PM you so I can ask some questions in depth. So did Chevy Vans have something to do with your husband? and it's gone?! I just can't stop thinking of my SO with someone else, and I wish I didn't know details, it just haunts me constantly. It unrelentingly NEVER goes away.. just when certain things like Utah or a certain name I come across EVERYWHERE the anxiety just gets more intense.. EMDR can help?!

 

It might not be able to take it all away completely.

 

I went for 6 sessions: It brought my husband's cheating stuff from a 10 to a 3 and 4.

 

I know the mental loop is so brutal OMG!

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tryingtocurerj

when the cheating was taken down to a 3 - 4. What effect did that have? I have such a hard time thinking about anything else, it seems like this is the ONLY thing on my mind all the time. When its a 3 or 4 what kind of power does it still have over you? And how much is EMDR?

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dreamingoftigers

Just the level of pain drops significantly.

 

It has twinges of pain for me but overall I think about it daily but it doesn't have much impact. EMDR cost 175.00 CDN for me

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tryingtocurerj

hmmm. If it can help get rid of it I'll invest the money. The sting is the hardest part about it, I guess if there wasn't as much pain involved I wouldn't concentrate on it. I just feel like I'm so ready to focus on the rest of the things in my life instead of being beat to death by this

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dreamingoftigers

It is 100% worth the investment. Very useful in all areas of life.

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tryingtocurerj

amazing! I found some Las Vegas EMDR facilitators out here. I just really want to let it go. RJ has been something thats affected me since I was 15 and in EVERY relationship it finds something to fill the hole with. All my relationships have been the BEST for the first few weeks until something comes out and then it's like a giant monster in my thoughts that just suffocates everything else. I can't wait to be free from it

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