Author shawn923 Posted March 17, 2011 Author Share Posted March 17, 2011 im gonna tell her we need space... Link to post Share on other sites
Author shawn923 Posted March 17, 2011 Author Share Posted March 17, 2011 if you want to get back with her you should text her saying like "why does it matter?" then dont text back after that for a few days. let her ponder on "why it matters." cause obviously shes noticing you and caring ACTUALLY... im goin with u man. She just text me "u seen me and left right out" i said "aw i was leaving anyways" she replied "both times?" im gonna reply with a "why does it matter?" matter fact, "do u care?"....... hopefully this works! Link to post Share on other sites
Author shawn923 Posted March 17, 2011 Author Share Posted March 17, 2011 ACTUALLY... im goin with u man. She just text me "u seen me and left right out" i said "aw i was leaving anyways" she replied "both times?" im gonna reply with a "why does it matter?" matter fact, "do u care?"....... hopefully this works! I did it, she just said "yea it matters. i was gonna say hi to u today but u left. but like i said if u want me to stop i will." i might even reply to this one and leave her hanging for the night... but i need advice. like quick lol. i need to know what to reply if at all... Link to post Share on other sites
Art_Critic Posted March 17, 2011 Share Posted March 17, 2011 Well.. Are you back together ? Link to post Share on other sites
Author shawn923 Posted March 17, 2011 Author Share Posted March 17, 2011 Well.. Are you back together ? umm no not at all Link to post Share on other sites
Art_Critic Posted March 17, 2011 Share Posted March 17, 2011 umm no not at all then what good did breaking NC do for you ?... Link to post Share on other sites
Author shawn923 Posted March 17, 2011 Author Share Posted March 17, 2011 I didnt reply... Then after about 20 mins she JUST replied "U know what its cool! Thats my que I guess and i'll stop, have a nice life shawn (last name)" and i doubt im replying to this one either so my last message to her was "does it matter"........ now i can sleep on it... and see what happens tmr Link to post Share on other sites
joshextreme Posted March 17, 2011 Share Posted March 17, 2011 then what good did breaking NC do for you ?... if shes trying to talk and obviously showing she cares then its oke to break NC one time. hes gotta show her that he doesnt need to deal with her bull$ht anymore. after the "does it matter" do not text her back for a while. Link to post Share on other sites
Author shawn923 Posted March 17, 2011 Author Share Posted March 17, 2011 if shes trying to talk and obviously showing she cares then its oke to break NC one time. hes gotta show her that he doesnt need to deal with her bull$ht anymore. after the "does it matter" do not text her back for a while. YES exactly what i was thinking. and yes i left it at that and didnt reply, the last one sent was does it matter... and u said dont text her back for while, as in when? if ever? and for what? and while im at it, what should i take from what she said? "have a nice life shawn"...? it might just be a ploy to get me to respond... like no dont go! but im smarter than that... Link to post Share on other sites
joshextreme Posted March 17, 2011 Share Posted March 17, 2011 YES exactly what i was thinking. and yes i left it at that and didnt reply, the last one sent was does it matter... and u said dont text her back for while, as in when? if ever? and for what? and while im at it, what should i take from what she said? "have a nice life shawn"...? it might just be a ploy to get me to respond... like no dont go! but im smarter than that... thats exactly what it is. you dont want to start a fight but you want her a little hyped up like she is right now. right now shes confused. shes thinking, "did i just dump a guy who has a new found confidence?". now what you need to do is go out and live. enjoy college. get drunk and dont remember what you did last night lol. you living your life will be enough for her to probably want you back when me and my ex broke up the first time this is exactly what i did. just keep the confidence up. you're better than her trust me Link to post Share on other sites
Author shawn923 Posted March 17, 2011 Author Share Posted March 17, 2011 K cool cool... she JUST called me... i didnt pick up... texted her back "what"... she said "you deleted me as a friend?" what do i say?? "i feel we just need space?" help quick... Link to post Share on other sites
joshextreme Posted March 17, 2011 Share Posted March 17, 2011 (edited) K cool cool... she JUST called me... i didnt pick up... texted her back "what"... she said "you deleted me as a friend?" what do i say?? "i feel we just need space?" help quick... say "im just doing as you want." because then she'll start thinking about what she wants. EDIT: DONT SAY THAT. i had to think about this. you wanna be nice but also put your foot down. you know her better than us so say something that comforts her but rejects her ideas. im not saying be totally nice but you dont want to argue. arguing will turn you 2 off from eachother so fast. Edited March 17, 2011 by joshextreme Link to post Share on other sites
hunk Posted March 17, 2011 Share Posted March 17, 2011 You're breaking NC, you're going to get nowhere. Listen to the advice of people who have been here for a while, like Art_Critic. Literally the only hope you have is NC, but it's pretty obvious you won't stick to it.. Link to post Share on other sites
Layzie89 Posted March 17, 2011 Share Posted March 17, 2011 Seriously shawn you're breaking NC and your work is going down the drain. Whats the point of texting her back after you ignored her call? You responding to her is really counter active towards NC, really. Link to post Share on other sites
PegNosePete Posted March 17, 2011 Share Posted March 17, 2011 NC NC NC You were doing so well dude. With the canteen and the gym incidents you have done exactly the right thing. But your weakness is her text messages! Do not respond AT ALL to ANY of them!!!! Unless she comes to your door on her belly through broken glass begging for you back, DO NOT RESPOND! Link to post Share on other sites
Art_Critic Posted March 17, 2011 Share Posted March 17, 2011 help quick... You wouldn't need help if you would just do NC... dude.... Link to post Share on other sites
Author shawn923 Posted March 17, 2011 Author Share Posted March 17, 2011 You wouldn't need help if you would just do NC... I know... but my gut was just telling me it was the right thing to do. i broke down last night cuz she was beginning to call and text off the hook. My goal deep deep down is reconciliation... and i know by calling and texting she was just making sure im still down to her... i understand all of it. i ended up replying only because she was desperately trying to talk to me. we only had a very short convo, where i was basically just like im giving u ur space, we being friends wont work, etc. she was panicking replying IMMEDIATELY like "oh i never said i wanted space!" and "this isnt you!" and my personal favorite "i think this is because of a girl".... i just told her figure out whats best for u. and i left it there... she continued to text but i didnt reply. she text me again this morning saying "its fine. have ur space".... and im not replying I sent maybe 4-5 texts the most, all casual, all about 15-20 mins apart. she even noted that "it never takes this long for u to text back". i NEVER picked up either, she also asked "why cant u pick up the *freakin* phone. i didnt answer any of her bs, and left her hanging everytime she asked about me or why i was acting a certain way. so yes, i know i broke the ignoring part of NC... BUT i certainly dont think i did anything to harm my efforts. I didnt down right DISS her like an enemy, but i did put my foot down hard and let her know things just will NOT be the same anymore. I had a gut feeling and just had to do it, it felt right... Also @joshextreme said he went thru somethin similar and it got him his ex back. my only gripe is now hopefully shes missing me more than i am her, because its killing me not to see her fb page... but her panicking and all that last night and getting no last reply outta me should make her feel much more uneasy than i will be... What do u all think? Link to post Share on other sites
joshextreme Posted March 17, 2011 Share Posted March 17, 2011 I know... but my gut was just telling me it was the right thing to do. i broke down last night cuz she was beginning to call and text off the hook. My goal deep deep down is reconciliation... and i know by calling and texting she was just making sure im still down to her... i understand all of it. i ended up replying only because she was desperately trying to talk to me. we only had a very short convo, where i was basically just like im giving u ur space, we being friends wont work, etc. she was panicking replying IMMEDIATELY like "oh i never said i wanted space!" and "this isnt you!" and my personal favorite "i think this is because of a girl".... i just told her figure out whats best for u. and i left it there... she continued to text but i didnt reply. she text me again this morning saying "its fine. have ur space".... and im not replying I sent maybe 4-5 texts the most, all casual, all about 15-20 mins apart. she even noted that "it never takes this long for u to text back". i NEVER picked up either, she also asked "why cant u pick up the *freakin* phone. i didnt answer any of her bs, and left her hanging everytime she asked about me or why i was acting a certain way. so yes, i know i broke the ignoring part of NC... BUT i certainly dont think i did anything to harm my efforts. I didnt down right DISS her like an enemy, but i did put my foot down hard and let her know things just will NOT be the same anymore. I had a gut feeling and just had to do it, it felt right... Also @joshextreme said he went thru somethin similar and it got him his ex back. my only gripe is now hopefully shes missing me more than i am her, because its killing me not to see her fb page... but her panicking and all that last night and getting no last reply outta me should make her feel much more uneasy than i will be... What do u all think? dont throw me under the bus lol. my ex literally acted exactly likes yours the first time. listen to everyone and keep NC but also do what you feel is right. Link to post Share on other sites
Author shawn923 Posted March 17, 2011 Author Share Posted March 17, 2011 (edited) @Josh im not throwin u under the bus lol... Im just saying, u see where im comin from and why i made the decisions i did, because u been thru something VERY similar i see. I take it ur around my age range as well... I know how to use NC... but at the end of the day im gonna trust my gut and do i feel is right. This does not mean whenever she contacts me, im gonna give in and talk to her. NO. It means when i feel the time is right, and it looks like shes REALLY reaching out to me with a purpose, (reconciliation), THEN ill give her the time of day. Until then shes dead to me... I just needed you guys' confirmation to go FORWARD with NC... and the more i come on here thats the message i get. I feel great the way all that went last night tho, it literally felt like the balance of power shifted into my hands. And by me NOT replying i just HOPE its driving her crazy I mean i said what i had to say, wasnt a complete a$$, but put my foot down... I no longer have to contact her for ANY reason unless i like getting hurt. The ball is totally in my court now, my conscious is MUCH clearer (tho not 100%)... IF she wants to beg me back, cool, then i know its real love and lets do what we shoulda did the first time! If not, then F it, shes even MORE immature than i am, and thats saying a lot! ...It kinda makes me WANNA find a new gf now just to prove her wrong and that i can be happy again. Edited March 17, 2011 by shawn923 Link to post Share on other sites
Author shawn923 Posted March 18, 2011 Author Share Posted March 18, 2011 UPDATE: Totally avoided today, she doesnt have class on tues and thurs. she didnt call or text. so im good... Tmr, we both have class. And on my way out, im 99% sure she's gonna be there, as theres really only one way out. and thats usually where shes at anyway. So im gonna have to pass by her and try not to make eye contact... would that be the best way to handle it? cuz im surely not gonna take a extra 10 min walk just to go home because im scared of her like some bully lol. And ALSO next week is spring break. So tmr will be my LAST chance to see her and vice versa for a week. so I KNOW she'll be there, probably expecting me to give in and say something to her before break starts... ALL the more reason to walk past as if i dont see her. or nod at the most if she waves hi FIRST... Link to post Share on other sites
joshextreme Posted March 18, 2011 Share Posted March 18, 2011 UPDATE: Totally avoided today, she doesnt have class on tues and thurs. she didnt call or text. so im good... Tmr, we both have class. And on my way out, im 99% sure she's gonna be there, as theres really only one way out. and thats usually where shes at anyway. So im gonna have to pass by her and try not to make eye contact... would that be the best way to handle it? cuz im surely not gonna take a extra 10 min walk just to go home because im scared of her like some bully lol. And ALSO next week is spring break. So tmr will be my LAST chance to see her and vice versa for a week. so I KNOW she'll be there, probably expecting me to give in and say something to her before break starts... ALL the more reason to walk past as if i dont see her. or nod at the most if she waves hi FIRST... just dont look at her at all. dont be curious lol. walk with confidence. dont be afraid to talk to a friend around her either. let her see what she sees missing. do things normal. dont let her be the burden of your life even tho she is right now Link to post Share on other sites
Author shawn923 Posted March 18, 2011 Author Share Posted March 18, 2011 dont really like none of her friends anyway lol. i might just put the ipod on and walk straight forward Link to post Share on other sites
Author shawn923 Posted March 18, 2011 Author Share Posted March 18, 2011 So am i handling this situation the best? Is seeing me walk past her, last time before spring break, for the last time in like 10 days, gonna hurt HER more than it will ME? Because i fkn cried again last night... I was going thru youtube videos and just teared up cuz something MADE me look at break up songs... it sucks and im hurt. But i know i have to fake like everything is ok, be strong and walk past her... Right? its gonna be killing her more than me? Also one of my friends from school has her on fb and offered his password to me... I looked at her page and nothin was out the ordinary. i just looked cuz i was nosey... and i may attempt to look here and there again but ill get better with this, and try to stop. Link to post Share on other sites
PegNosePete Posted March 18, 2011 Share Posted March 18, 2011 Yeah man keep it up. Nothing wrong with crying. I was balling my eyes out a couple of nights ago and it's almost 8 months since my break up. It's bad at first but it does get less and less frequent. Have fun with your buddies over the break and try not to think of her (yeah impossible I know), keep occupied doing fun things. And cut out the facebook stalking Link to post Share on other sites
Author shawn923 Posted March 18, 2011 Author Share Posted March 18, 2011 Yeah man keep it up. Nothing wrong with crying. I was balling my eyes out a couple of nights ago and it's almost 8 months since my break up. It's bad at first but it does get less and less frequent. Have fun with your buddies over the break and try not to think of her (yeah impossible I know), keep occupied doing fun things. And cut out the facebook stalking THANX... i swear some of u guys have no idea how much ur helping with this slightest replies Link to post Share on other sites
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