Women & Sex..... Some will think a sexist rant....

[Toodamnpragmatic]

I am not sure...

 

In the beginning of this topic he wrote: I'll be more then crass, but my wife had really good sex the other night (at least as far as the orgasm went, and yes it is my responsibility to do the job to get her there;)) and frankly after wards it's no more then a shrug of the shoulders and no need to do it for a while (and certainly not initiate)....

 

It sound more like a profound indifference from her side towards him, I am not sure if new clothes would generate a lot of enthousiasm.

 

I know LT was having fun knowing my story..... Now I do think "profound indifference" is a little harsh..... There is more to the story.....

[Honorable_Venerable]

HV,

If by "do what I want or I will "hurt" you". You mean: Enforce my boundaries and explain the conditions under which I will leave the marriage - then I am guilty as charged.

 

If however by "hurt" you mean something else - you are wrong. The maximum level of hurt I would inflict on my W, is to leave her. And as a free man, I feel no shame for being willing to exercise that right if sufficiently provoked. But I would not harm a hair on her head. Nor would I try to financially harm her if we split.

I believe you, but you give the impression that you flaunt your physical superiority over your wife on a regular basis. You and your W seem quite happy with this. I think that many women would be far from content with their partners doing the same. Even with my reduced mobility, there is no way my W could best me in any sort of hand to hand fight. She knows it, I know it and she knows I know it, but it is NEVER, EVER mentioned, commented on, implied or suggested, because that constitutes a threat. To her, it isn't the remotest bit sexy or erotic - quite the opposite in fact.

[LittleTiger]

It sound more like a profound indifference from her side towards him, I am not sure if new clothes would generate a lot of enthousiasm.

 

Sorry for anybody who misunderstood, but my comment about the clothes was 'tongue in cheek'. I meant it as a joke.

[Toodamnpragmatic]

I believe you, but you give the impression that you flaunt your physical superiority over your wife on a regular basis. You and your W seem quite happy with this. I think that many women would be far from content with their partners doing the same. Even with my reduced mobility, there is no way my W could best me in any sort of hand to hand fight. She knows it, I know it and she knows I know it, but it is NEVER, EVER mentioned, commented on, implied or suggested, because that constitutes a threat. To her, it isn't the remotest bit sexy or erotic - quite the opposite in fact.

 

take your fight outside and a different thread.....

 

Mem, I know you are very confident in your tactics and they work for you. I find you a bully (in the best possible way) and sometimes wonder about your spouse and the dynamic. I promise you it would not work in my situation.

 

HV I am saddened by your situation and lack of clarity or any answers and what seems as no way out.

 

That said I wish you both the best.

[mem11363]

You ever see kittens/any type of feline cubs wrestling? They never hurt each other - despite having some fearsome weaponry. It is totally playful.

 

We are like that. I admit that it seems like a gray zone - when she is being very provocative and I get close and square and inject a little edge in my voice. The thing is - I have never ever touched her in anger. And the edge reflects determination not anger. When angry - the real thing - I would never get in close. THAT is crazy out of control behavior. Caveman stuff. Not me.

 

My W is SO not physically afraid of me. And that is exactly how it should be.

 

 

I believe you, but you give the impression that you flaunt your physical superiority over your wife on a regular basis. You and your W seem quite happy with this. I think that many women would be far from content with their partners doing the same. Even with my reduced mobility, there is no way my W could best me in any sort of hand to hand fight. She knows it, I know it and she knows I know it, but it is NEVER, EVER mentioned, commented on, implied or suggested, because that constitutes a threat. To her, it isn't the remotest bit sexy or erotic - quite the opposite in fact.

[Honorable_Venerable]

You ever see kittens/any type of feline cubs wrestling? They never hurt each other - despite having some fearsome weaponry. It is totally playful.

 

Point of order. What you are describing here is young animals practising the skills they need to successfully hunt and kill. It is learning behaviour intended to develop life skills vital to a predator.

[mem11363]

HV,

I totally agree with your statement below. It doesn't change the fact that they sure seem to have fun doing it (as do my W and I), and I never see them hurt each other (as she and I never hurt each other).

 

Is my analogy flawed. Or am I missing your point entirely?

 

Point of order. What you are describing here is young animals practising the skills they need to successfully hunt and kill. It is learning behaviour intended to develop life skills vital to a predator.

[Honorable_Venerable]

HV,

I totally agree with your statement below. It doesn't change the fact that they sure seem to have fun doing it (as do my W and I), and I never see them hurt each other (as she and I never hurt each other).

 

Is my analogy flawed. Or am I missing your point entirely?

I suspect we are both missing one another's points entirely:)

 

I tend not to see the "fun" bit of animal behavour - that's anthropomorphising, and I had that beaten out of me long ago when I started at university:laugh:. Hence, I don't react to animals "play fighting" (not sure I like the term, but it serves as a common frame of reference) on that level.

However, I have seen a lot of people for whom the "fun" in boxing, martial arts, even fencing, was about winning. Not merely winning in a sporting sense, but in inflicting a physical defeat on an opponent. Not just putting someone on the mat in the case of judo, but making sure they stayed there, and absorbed that they were very definitely second-best. In fencing, not just getting a point with a touch, but especially with a sabre, striking hard enough to leave a mark you felt for days afterwards. And in both cases making the point that because they'd done it once, they could do it again, any time. Some people DO play hard but fair, but not everyone does, and some people who have been on the receiving end are uncomfortable (at least) with situations where obvious physical superiority is openly displayed against them, for what are (to them) very good reasons.

[PorkRinds]

If the woman repeatedly refuses to have sex with the man, over a lengthy span, or repeatedly evades it, complains, gives him grief about it; it means either 1) she doesn't love him or 2) she's not sexually attracted to him or 3) both.

 

You guys can all post twenty pages of stuff trying to micro-analyze and psycho-analyze this stuff, gamesmanship, spy vs. spy....and it doesn't matter.

 

At some point the resolution of this is going to be an epiphany that she just doesn't like you "that way."