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[joshextreme]

I'm overthinking all this, but oh well. I'm trying to set it so my ex can see me posting on our friends walls but can't see my status updates on my page.

 

Let me mind you I have her unfriended. I want her to be able to see me posting on our friends walls so she can see I'm not sad all the time. I just can't figure out the settings.

 

Right now in the privacy settings i have it set as recommended. Which means even if we're not friends she can see my wall.

 

Is there anyway to get specific?

Edited March 17, 2011 by joshextreme

[flitzanu]

why do you care if she sees what you say on other peoples walls?

 

just block her. trust me.

[SingVoice]

I'm just gonna say it. That's pretty immature.

 

Who cares what she thinks? Just move on and be happy FOR YOURSELF.

 

If you are trying to "get to her" or something....seriously...that's immature.

[joshextreme]

I'm just gonna say it. That's pretty immature.

 

Who cares what she thinks? Just move on and be happy FOR YOURSELF.

 

If you are trying to "get to her" or something....seriously...that's immature.

 

when i get nervous i tend to get stupid which will lead to my immaturity. i guess ill just block her completely.

[robinseggblue]

Don't be so quick to take the first advice you hear. (Especially from someone speaking negatively.) Negativity begets negativity as you may know. You can block her if you like. But personally, I think that makes it look like you care too much. A "reaction" on your part (any reaction) shows that you still care which is probably not what you want her to think at this point.

 

I don't see anything "immature" about what you're doing. I can see that you're trying to use strategy. Immature? I don't think so. I think it would be immature to post a lot of negative statements on her wall. Or to post negative statements on your wall about her. But to allow her to see only what you want her to-that seems like a strategy to me. However, I wouldn't make it seem too obvious that you're posting things for her benefit. Just be cool about it. You probably know what you're doing. Hang in there. Never loose your cool.

[joshextreme]

Don't be so quick to take the first advice you hear. (Especially from someone speaking negatively.) Negativity begets negativity as you may know. You can block her if you like. But personally, I think that makes it look like you care too much. A "reaction" on your part (any reaction) shows that you still care which is probably not what you want her to think at this point.

 

I don't see anything "immature" about what you're doing. I can see that you're trying to use strategy. Immature? I don't think so. I think it would be immature to post a lot of negative statements on her wall. Or to post negative statements on your wall about her. But to allow her to see only what you want her to-that seems like a strategy to me. However, I wouldn't make it seem too obvious that you're posting things for her benefit. Just be cool about it. You probably know what you're doing. Hang in there. Never loose your cool.

 

well my plan was for her to see me happily talking to our friends and just living my life. but her not seeing my wall would make her question how im feeling because she cant see but can see what im posting on my friends. doesnt really make sense but it does to me

 

right now i have her unfriended and idk where to go from there

Edited March 18, 2011 by joshextreme

[robinseggblue]

I think your plan is good. Just post positive things. What could be wrong with that? You don't need to be friends. Your presence is still there. In a small way which is even better. You're doing just fine.

[joshextreme]

I think your plan is good. Just post positive things. What could be wrong with that? You don't need to be friends. Your presence is still there. In a small way which is even better. You're doing just fine.

 

ok thank you for agreeing with me. its not like im posting anything towards her. shes not an idiot she'd figure out my plan if i did that lol.

[robinseggblue]

You know, I don't think you should post much at all. Just lay low for now. She could read into ANYTHING you're posting if she wanted to. Just take a break and then come out of the woods gradually. Like a deer. Slow.

 

When did you defriend her? After that texting? (From the other thread). Or before?

[joshextreme]

You know, I don't think you should post much at all. Just lay low for now. She could read into ANYTHING you're posting if she wanted to. Just take a break and then come out of the woods gradually. Like a deer. Slow.

 

When did you defriend her? After that texting? (From the other thread). Or before?

 

yeah since saturday. this is like the 3rd time in our 2 months of being broken up that i have defriended her.

Edited March 18, 2011 by joshextreme

[robinseggblue]

And who's refriending who?

[joshextreme]

And who's refriending who?

 

me everytime cause she kept calling me immature and all my friends said it was stupid.

[robinseggblue]

Just stick by what you've done this time. When you doing something major, you can't be wishy washy about it, and then go back and change your mind, because then it looks weak. The only time that you should refriend her is if you two are in a committed, "both of us want it now" relationship. Kinda like it's her prize for being committed to you. Capiche?

[joshextreme]

Just stick by what you've done this time. When you doing something major, you can't be wishy washy about it, and then go back and change your mind, because then it looks weak. The only time that you should refriend her is if you two are in a committed, "both of us want it now" relationship. Kinda like it's her prize for being committed to you. Capiche?

 

yeah. thanks man. its weird how i can give advice on this stuff but then when it comes to myself i freak out and dont know what to do whether it be a big decision or very minor. thanks a lot man

[robinseggblue]

Yeah, it changes everything when you are the one who is involved. It's impossible to think straight. I think it's normal. The only time you will be able to think straight about it is when you are in the future looking back. Then you'll be saying "That's what I should have done" and "Yah, I did that perfectly". Until then, you gotta ask for other people's opinions because they can see things from the outside. (Much clearer out here lol) Just be careful to analyse the opinions you get and not just take any old advice. Everyone is coming from a different place when they offer advice. Consider the source every time!

[Layzie89]

If you've unfriended her, just make your wall private so only friends can see it. She will still be able to see your posts on friends walls unless you have her blocked.

[joshextreme]

If you've unfriended her, just make your wall private so only friends can see it. She will still be able to see your posts on friends walls unless you have her blocked.

 

with that tho is when i go into "privacy settings" and under things i share there is "Post by me" and under it says "Default settings for post, including status updates and photos." i get paranoid and think that it blocks everything i post on my friends wall and mine.

[robinseggblue]

If you're paranoid, do a test with a friend. Post something on a third friend's wall, and ask friend number two if he can see it.

 

Facebook settings are really confusing. They are not explained thoroughly enough for my liking. They should have examples of what will happen when you do something. lol. It changes lives sometimes. Its important.

[joshextreme]

If you're paranoid, do a test with a friend. Post something on a third friend's wall, and ask friend number two if he can see it.

 

Facebook settings are really confusing. They are not explained thoroughly enough for my liking. They should have examples of what will happen when you do something. lol. It changes lives sometimes. Its important.

 

i think im gonna do it so she can see what im doing. when she comes to my page shes present with the "add friend" button and i feel like thats enough to make her realize whats going on.

[JimmyB26]

It's so funny how silly people get about Facebook.

 

I was friends with my ex on Facebook for a year after we split. Even as we really stopped being "friends" when it got really bad, she would "Like" some of my statuses or notes. I think it gave her an ego boost that she still had a privilege to view aspects of my life whenever she wanted.

 

We had one last phone conversation at the end of the year after the breakup, she called me. It turned into a fight, and she explained to me how we weren't going to be friends. I decided that if we weren't friends, we didn't have to be friends on facebook. Delete.

 

She tried to one-up me, by blocking me, to get back at me. I laughed at that one.

[joshextreme]

It's so funny how silly people get about Facebook.

 

I was friends with my ex on Facebook for a year after we split. Even as we really stopped being "friends" when it got really bad, she would "Like" some of my statuses or notes. I think it gave her an ego boost that she still had a privilege to view aspects of my life whenever she wanted.

 

We had one last phone conversation at the end of the year after the breakup, she called me. It turned into a fight, and she explained to me how we weren't going to be friends. I decided that if we weren't friends, we didn't have to be friends on facebook. Delete.

 

She tried to one-up me, by blocking me, to get back at me. I laughed at that one.

my ex couldnt block me. i wish she would so she could see how good i am at NC lol

[joshextreme]

so i was thinking that maybe i'd re add her as a friend just because then there is a way she can contact me since my phones off and due to the rules of NC i cant tell her. mind you we havent talked in 6 days and thats the longest we've gone

[robinseggblue]

Think about how this will appear. Weak remember? If you haven't blocked her, she can still send you a message right? 6 days is a very very short amount of time in the grand scheme of things. Patience is your friend.

 

The less you do, the more of an effect it will have when you do something. Less doing = more progress. Weird but true. Hang in there.

[joshextreme]

Think about how this will appear. Weak remember? If you haven't blocked her, she can still send you a message right? 6 days is a very very short amount of time in the grand scheme of things. Patience is your friend.

 

The less you do, the more of an effect it will have when you do something. Less doing = more progress. Weird but true. Hang in there.

 

yeah thats why i havent readded her cause i cant come back. i like that "less doing = more progress" lol i shall go play videogames and hope to see a text from her . i also dont wanna break NC. ive been doing well i think since this is the longest we've gone without talking so far.

[Layzie89]

By adding her again your basically telling her you want to keep in contact. Dont do it. Keep her deleted and blocked. If she really wanted to get ahold of you she'll find a way, regardless.