PelicanPete Posted March 17, 2011 Share Posted March 17, 2011 Nothing in my life is going as planned which is expected of course, but when i take an effort to try to make changes it never materializes. I am beginning to become frustrated with the things I cannot control but they are things that I need to move on from this point in my life. Im a 20 year old college student, and it seems the only thing that I know about myself is that I love studying Psychology. When I graduated high school, I had a choice between two universities. I could have moved to a bigger city and went to a bigger university, or I could have stayed at the local one to get my BA. I eventually choose to stay at home, because the relationship I had at the time I thought was pretty serious, and I wanted to save money for so we could move out together. I also wanted to create a better relationship with my parents because growing up there was a lot of conflict. My older sibling moved out in a negative way there is still tension between them, and I didn't want the same for me. Things have become challenging since my main reasons for staying at home have sunk. My now ex gf left me for another guy and even though we were together for a long time, it turned out she never really loved me anyway. As for my parents, I am glad I somewhat salvaged my relationship with them and I am a lot more open with them, but I am noticing myself become a lot less social and patient around them because I feel smothered. Although I am very happy with my education in my home town, another con of staying here is that it is very hard to find a job. It is a small town that has too many people, and when 9/10 of the jobs require experience its difficult to get anywhere. I have applied for many jobs and followed up to find out they hired someone else, or won't even give me an interview because my previous job experience isn't relevant. All the jobs that I applied for I know I could excel at if I were just given the chance, which makes things frustrating when constantly denied. I do my best to take things day by day. I'm grateful for living in a nice home and having a better relationship with my parents but it feels like it's time to do my own thing. As for friends I have very few. I grew apart from a lot of them and they are off doing their own things. I've tried reconnecting with a few but it is obvious they don't really care if they see me again or not. I was never a very social person mainly because of different interests, but I am still easy going and can get along with just about anyone. The only thing I miss about my ex is being able to talk to her about everything in my life because it helped organize my thoughts. Now it just feels like I can't focus on anything I want to accomplish because its overwhelming, or I feel like im going no where when I do try and constantly hit dead ends. Ive tried to reconnect with a girl that I always had a thing for, we use to be friends and i asked if she wanted to get together sometime. She said shed love to, and i tried to set a day but she became very busy. I've been trying to set up another day to see her but she has yet to respond to me after almost a week. That seems like another lost cause. It is just becoming hard when you want to open new areas in life, but in order to do that you need other people. I try not to play the victim, I try to stay confident and optimistic about things and persist, but it feels like no matter how hard I try I can't get anywhere. I want new opportunity and experiences and I'm trying to get there but it seems like other people decide whether I get to do that or not. I'm trying to apply what I have learned from Psychology to my life, but I just feel like im in a hole and the longer this goes on for the deeper the hole gets. Its the end of the chapter of my teenage years, but it feels like writers block regarding the rest of my life. Link to post Share on other sites
yessy21 Posted March 17, 2011 Share Posted March 17, 2011 Im in full understanding. Life has little tricks up its sleeves though. U might have doors shut in ur face for a reason. u need more self confidence and u need to move to a larger city. u need to get out there. it sounds like u havent really done much. Move ... make a big change and i promise u... that something will give and u will not feel trapped. u have established two great things. u have a career in front of u and u have a good foundation with ur parents. what else do u need to move forward? DO IT!!! i promise u wont regret it. Link to post Share on other sites
Eve Posted March 17, 2011 Share Posted March 17, 2011 Transfer Universities at the end of this year to somewhere exciting. The application process and hope of the move could be just what you need right now. At the end of the day you made a choice and stuck by it. It didn't work out but you have not lost sight of wanting to learn and do better for yourself. You have shown great maturity within how you have handled things with your parents but yes, that feeling of being smothered means it's time to reach out and do something different. Try and be direct and express this to them. They are probably feeling it too. You have done right by others. Do right by youself now. As for friendships, moving will enable you to start afresh too. I think University days are for making lifelong friendships and being in the same area where you grew up has diminished this phase somewhat for you. I hope I have made the rght calculations and that you are in your second year right now. Take care, Eve x Link to post Share on other sites
Author PelicanPete Posted March 17, 2011 Author Share Posted March 17, 2011 Thanks for the advice you guys. I guess you two are right, I have nothing really left for me here if I want to move forward. This college semester is prolonged but afterward I will force myself to move out. There are always a lot more jobs in bigger cities and it will open a lot more opportunities for me. I don't have a lot of money, but i should be able to make more when im able to get a job. Link to post Share on other sites
Eve Posted March 17, 2011 Share Posted March 17, 2011 Yeah, go for it! Enjoy the planning. It will be scary but well worth it. Get your parents involved too. If all of that gets heavy, please come back for further support as it can be a hard transition. All the very best, Take care, Eve x Link to post Share on other sites
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