Yelle Posted March 17, 2011 Share Posted March 17, 2011 I was in a LDR for a year and seven months. We broke up a few months ago, but I would not be in another LDR again. LDR is not for everyone and certainly not for me. Would you ever consider being in another LDR again? Link to post Share on other sites
HeavenOrHell Posted March 17, 2011 Share Posted March 17, 2011 At this point in time I would say YES! However in the event of us splitting up, and if it was purely because of the distance and the difficulties it beings, then I would most likely feel differently. I was in a LDR for a year and seven months. We broke up a few months ago, but I would not be in another LDR again. LDR is not for everyone and certainly not for me. Would you ever consider being in another LDR again? Link to post Share on other sites
heartshaped Posted March 17, 2011 Share Posted March 17, 2011 I suppose if it came about the way that this situation did...yes, but as far as me being long distance with the person from the beginning, no. I was long distance with my boyfriend in the very beginning, but we closed the distance after a month of dating as neither one of us wanted to be in a long distance relationship. After a year, I had to move back home for some personal reasons, but if we had not been already dating for a year at this point and both very sure about spending the rest of our lives together, I would have broken things off. Altogether, we'll be long distance for a year and half before we close the distance again, permanently. I doubt I would have even entered into this situation with anyone else though. I have never been a fan of long distance relationships and I'm still not, but I'm very much a fan of our relationship. If I wasn't 99% sure that this was the man I was going to marry though, it wouldn't be worth the heartache for me. Link to post Share on other sites
LittleTiger Posted March 17, 2011 Share Posted March 17, 2011 It depends.........on the man, on the distance, on the length of time we'd be apart, on my feelings etc Would I choose to get involved with someone LD? Not deliberately no ............ but then I didn't exactly 'choose' this relationship either so.........honestly, I have no idea. For the right man and in the right circumstances - 'probably' is my best guess........and that's from somebody who really hates LDRs. Link to post Share on other sites
folieadeux Posted March 17, 2011 Share Posted March 17, 2011 If I had it all again I'd change...NOTHING. Sure it's (very) easy for me to complain about the distance, but if everything didn't happen exactly as it did...my boyfriend and I would have never met. We are two people whose lives should have never crossed paths, but did, so I both hate and am eternally greatful for the distance and life's coincidences bringing us together. He's truly worth doing this all over again for and then some. I don't think anyone ever deliberately chooses to start an LDR, but it's the people involved that make us see it through. Link to post Share on other sites
KandiceHanson Posted March 17, 2011 Share Posted March 17, 2011 I'm definately with Folie on this one. My SO and I should have never met either, except one small little coincidence brought us togethor. Like literally, if the event had happened an hour later, I honestly don't think we would be together like we are today Wierd how some things work out. No, I'd probably never choose a LDR deliberately. But because of my SO, I'd wait forever just for him. Period. I wouldn't care how long it was. He's amazing I'm sure everyone else would agree about their personal LDR's as well :bunny: The wait is so worth it sometimes. Link to post Share on other sites
Eeyore79 Posted March 18, 2011 Share Posted March 18, 2011 I was involved in an LDR with someone in another country, and there was a couple thousand miles between us. I would never do that again, because I realized that the only way for us to be together in the same country was to marry, and I could never marry someone if I had only spent a limited amount of time with them (which is unfortunately what tends to happen in an LDR). Also I realized it's extremely difficult for one person to relocate to be with the other if the relocation is so drastic and takes them so far away from their friends and family. I still thought it would be ok to have an LDR, as long as we were in the same country so we could eventually be together, and so that being together didn't involve either of us making a drastic move far away from family. I subsequently became involved with a guy who lived about five hours away, and it became clear to me that (in general) LDRs just don't work at all. Even though I saw him a lot more than my previous LDR, we still couldn't really build a relationship because all we had were occasional weekends together; we didn't really live our lives together and build a day-to-day relationship. Plus it was too easy for him to keep me at arms length and not involve me in his daily life, and I felt that the relationship was progressing too slowly and would probably end up not going anywhere. I am now of the opinion that LDRs only work in certain circumstances: if the distance isn't too great, if the LDR is short-term, and especially if you were a couple beforehand and the LDR is a temporary separation after which the other person is coming home. I would never want to get involved in another LDR which starts as an LDR, and in which the other person is from an entirely different place and one of us would have to leave their family and friends behind if we wanted to be together. Link to post Share on other sites
Macaw Posted March 18, 2011 Share Posted March 18, 2011 I think the real question is, would you enter a LDR just to avoid being single? If you're the kind of person who'll only ever get into a relationship "to have your needs met" then yeah, LDRs are not for you. Maybe even relationships in general aren't your ballpark, you just don't like being lonely. When you fall in love with someone though... distance won't matter. All the other options you'll ever encounter will seem dull in comparison. Link to post Share on other sites
impz Posted March 18, 2011 Share Posted March 18, 2011 I was in a LDR for a year and seven months. We broke up a few months ago, but I would not be in another LDR again. LDR is not for everyone and certainly not for me. Would you ever consider being in another LDR again? I have to say no. It's too painful. I say this with the context of my wife and me finally married and staying together after a 4 year LDR. We are like 18 hours away then, and it is painful at times because I only get to see her once every 6-7 months. Now, when I think back, I don't think I can stand being away for more than 1 month anymore. Link to post Share on other sites
Eddie Edirol Posted March 18, 2011 Share Posted March 18, 2011 NEVER.... NEVER NEVER NEVER NEVER NEVER NEVER NEVER NEVER NEVER Oh wait, I havent been an LDR yet. But Id still never do it. Link to post Share on other sites
HeavenOrHell Posted March 18, 2011 Share Posted March 18, 2011 I can't say I went into an LDR to avoid being single as such, I wouldn't want to be with just anyone, or the first person who comes along just to avoid being single, I'm really fussy when it comes to men if I was that desperate to not be single I'd go for someone much closer to home, I doubt he'd have been my only option. I don't think anyone likes being lonely. I don't hold with the idea it means you're needy if you want to be someone, (not that you said that), I see that a lot on this board, I think it's natural to want to have a partner, we're social animals, all animals need each other. We all go into r/ships to have our needs met and to meet the needs of our partner, which would mean LDR's don't suit anyone. I'm a very affectionate person and do need/want a lot of time and attention from my partner, but this doesn't mean my r/ship won't work out, like you said..when you fall in love distance doesn't matter. If the distance looked like it would never end then that would be a different matter. I think the real question is, would you enter a LDR just to avoid being single? If you're the kind of person who'll only ever get into a relationship "to have your needs met" then yeah, LDRs are not for you. Maybe even relationships in general aren't your ballpark, you just don't like being lonely. When you fall in love with someone though... distance won't matter. All the other options you'll ever encounter will seem dull in comparison. Link to post Share on other sites
LittleTiger Posted March 18, 2011 Share Posted March 18, 2011 When you fall in love with someone though... distance won't matter. All the other options you'll ever encounter will seem dull in comparison. Agreed! That's exactly why I put up with 12,000 miles distance between us. Link to post Share on other sites
Citizen Erased Posted March 18, 2011 Share Posted March 18, 2011 Not even if you paid me. Link to post Share on other sites
LittleTiger Posted March 18, 2011 Share Posted March 18, 2011 Not even if you paid me. :lmao: Link to post Share on other sites
Mei Mei Posted March 18, 2011 Share Posted March 18, 2011 :love:When he/she is that Mr right, and that you both are same committed to it with true love, trust and good communication, you would really :bunny:smile in heart with that deep love!! Link to post Share on other sites
creighton0123 Posted March 18, 2011 Share Posted March 18, 2011 I was in a LDR for a year and seven months. We broke up a few months ago, but I would not be in another LDR again. LDR is not for everyone and certainly not for me. Would you ever consider being in another LDR again? My long distance relationship isn't even over yet. We're as strong as ever. Even I will say no. LDR's are hard and should be avoided unless all the cards are on the table going in. Link to post Share on other sites
proactivedreamer Posted March 18, 2011 Share Posted March 18, 2011 Hmmm...I think it's the hopeless romantic in me that says "Yes I'd do it again". Yes LDRs are difficult but they are not impossible to manage. I am just out of LDR with someone living in another country. For him, I would do it again. The reality is that I am very flexible when it comes to moving around...I am not all that close with my family, although, I do have close friends but I always been about world travel and possibly residing in other countries, so it wouldn't be a big deal for me. Sometimes you meet someone who just gets you, and it's hard to walk away from that. He and I had something very special but it didn't work out because of his hangups. I think it depends on what you believe about love and what you believe in fighting for. Link to post Share on other sites
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