What does the word 'wife' mean to you?

[Fedup&givingup]

Originally posted by Juggs

I honestly don't understand how people do the marriage thing multiple times.... If I ever end up divorced, I will NEVER sign up for this again.

 

I've got the same notion.

[asiangirl]

Moose and Moimeme,

 

I completely agree with you guys. I am a very independent woman who believes that relationships should be about two people wanting to be with each other for their company. I also believe that my partner should accept me for who I am and be glad that they're with me. He said he wants someone who tries constantly improve for him. My take on that is I will try to improve for myself, but I will not do things that are not natural to me to please someone else. Changing for someone else against one's believe is what insecure people do. If I have some major flaws that needs correcting or else I will get looked down upon, by all means I am more than happy to change. But I will not try to be Ms. Perfect just because someone else wants me to be. There's one thing about perfection, it takes the human side away from that person. In a survey done on why the public continue to forgive Bill Clinton after all his flaws and why he continued to be popular, the majority surveyed said Clinton's mistakes made him human.

 

As for depending on someone, I have some level of dependency on my partner just because we are in a relationship together and we will compliment each others lives. However, I will never be so dependent on someone that I am at their beck and call or can't function without them. That's just not the type of person I am. I would be sad to not have my boyfriend in my life, I will miss him terribly, and I will feel emotionally empty without the company of someone dear to me, but that is the extent of my dependency on him. I will go on with my life. My world does not stop if someone is not in it.

 

Initially I wanted to get married to my boyfriend, but after our talk last night, I think he needs someone else who fits his version of a wife. To me a wife is someone who is there for you, understanding, caring, a friend, a partner, and a lover. I expect my husband to be my equal, I will accept all his flaws and he should accept all of mine.

 

So Moimeme, no I won't be marrying him.

[wideawake]

Originally posted by Juggs

I honestly don't understand how people do the marriage thing multiple times.... If I ever end up divorced, I will NEVER sign up for this again.

 

Never say never.

 

I've been divorced, and I'm still pretty good friends with my ex, she actually got re-married and is now happy as heck.

 

As for me, I'm looking forward to getting married again someday. Ya know, if once you don't succeed....

[moimeme]

Initially I wanted to get married to my boyfriend, but after our talk last night, I think he needs someone else who fits his version of a wife.

 

It was a tremendous idea for you to discuss your ideas of how marriage should be - as you see, even someone you think is great and who you love can surprise you unpleasantly when you understand their idea of what a marriage or a spouse is. You have found out something you might otherwise have realized too late. Every couple should have this discussion prior to marrying!

 

To me a wife is someone who is there for you, understanding, caring, a friend, a partner, and a lover. I expect my husband to be my equal, I will accept all his flaws and he should accept all of mine.

 

We share the same idea of marriage.

 

So Moimeme, no I won't be marrying him.

 

Sorry to hear that; you care a lot about him but it would be a disaster, unfortunately. Sad when an otherwise good guy has such stringent ideas of what a 'wife' is supposed to be.

[asiangirl]

Moimeme,

 

The hardest part of all this is ending an otherwise great relationship with someone I care about. Some relationships are great for dating and I think this is one of them. Right now we're working on trying to salvage but I think it's fruitless because our ideas of marriage is too different.

 

I think some of his ideas of marriage comes from his parents' relationship. His mom is a stay home wife and depended on his dad her whole life. Although my boyfriend doesn't want me to be a housewife he expects the same level of dependency as her. But with financial independence other types of need dependency will also decrease.

[moimeme]

I think a lot of men do develop their ideas of what marriage 'should' be from their early lives, particularly if they loved their moms or admired their dads. They either want wifey to be 'just like mom' or to themselves be 'just like dad'.

[catspajamas]

Wife means life companion... or the one person in the world a man can find who is willing put up with all of his crap until the day it fianally kills her.

[Moose]

I never knew what a real marriage was suppossed to be like, but I do know that I do not want to be like my father and I definitely don't want my wife to be like my mother......as far as my wife putting up with my crap until it kills her is a load of bs to me too....we played a knock off of the newlyweds and one of the questions to me was what would your wife say is the worst habit that you have. I couldn't think of anything!!! Nothing.....so I put snoring, ( Which isn't a habit because it can't be controlled ). When the question was directed to her she couldn't think of a single one either....we heard things like, "You must have so many that you can't think of one particular one....or you're a perfect angel." She said snoring, and on the way home we deduced that it wasn't because I had too many or that I was a perfect angel....it's because she doesn't even notice them anymore and is used to my habits.....Same with the, "what's your favorite meal your wife fixes"....I don't have a favorite....if she fixed it it's like manna from heaven to me.