nishant Posted March 18, 2011 Share Posted March 18, 2011 k...so i finally confessed my feeling to the girl that i like over SMS... She is a co worker and was leaving for her hometown so i SMSed here... things although did not go as planned.. so i ampasting our sms conversation below... I need help in deciding next course of action... I am a positive person so i would appreciate positive feedback...No negative feedback like "forget her" please... 1st message: " There is something i want to tell you and something i want you to think about. I like you and would like to be more than friends with you. Will await your response to my proposal. M already missing your presence in office" Her reply: " That is sweet of you. But i think its better we remain friends" My reply" "I am firm believer that a girl and guy cannot be friends for long. I want you to think over my proposal again and we will discuss this over coffee when you come back" Her reply " Lets not make things awkward by discussing things further please" I haven't replied since then. She is aboard a flight now and will land in 3-4 hours. She is out for a week. I am looking forward to having a face to face conversation with her when she comes back but till then i want her to keep thinking about it. So would appreciate if someone told me in a positive manner what my reply should be. I am in no mood to give up as girls normally tend to say "No" in the first instance when proposed. But at the same time i don't want to come out as some psycho who cannot take a rejection and will continue trying no matter what. As you understand, she is my colleague so i have to keep my career in mind as well and not come out as egotistical bastard who cannot take a rejection. Also, I am sorry if i came across as pushy in my second message to her... I did not want to do that... I just wanted her to have second thoughts... as from my experience girls always say "no.. lets be friends only" first time... but if someone tries a little harder they sometime agree... Link to post Share on other sites
betterdeal Posted March 18, 2011 Share Posted March 18, 2011 (edited) I am looking forward to having a face to face conversation with her when she comes back but till then i want her to keep thinking about it. Want all you like - we're all free to want anything. I want a threesome with Kate Winslet and Keira Knightley on a yacht in the Mediterranean. Wish me luck! So would appreciate if someone told me in a positive manner what my reply should be. How about, "Okay"? I am in no mood to give up as girls normally tend to say "No" in the first instance when proposed. But at the same time i don't want to come out as some psycho who cannot take a rejection and will continue trying no matter what. Then don't be a psycho who continues trying no matter being told clearly and politely, "no". As you understand, she is my colleague so i have to keep my career in mind as well and not come out as egotistical bastard who cannot take a rejection. The best way to avoid coming across as an egotistical bastard who cannot take a rejection is to not be an egotistical bastard who cannot take a rejection. Also, I am sorry if i came across as pushy in my second message to her.. Whatever makes you think you came across as pushy? I did not want to do that... Again, what makes you think you did that? I just wanted her to have second thoughts... Yes, you've made that clear. as from my experience girls always say "no.. lets be friends only" first time... but if someone tries a little harder they sometime agree... And just how hard are you happy to push in order to get her to agree, and what is it she would be agreeing to? Edited March 18, 2011 by betterdeal Link to post Share on other sites
Author nishant Posted March 18, 2011 Author Share Posted March 18, 2011 The reason i think i came across as pushy was from her second message where she clearly stated that "Lets not make things awkward by discussing further" which clearly means that "don't push this further...i already said no"... What i want to know is should i give up trying or should i wait till things have probably become normal (Maybe a month or so) and then try again... Also, i was thinking if i try harder she might say "okay... lets give it a try"... Link to post Share on other sites
betterdeal Posted March 18, 2011 Share Posted March 18, 2011 The reason i think i came across as pushy was from her second message where she clearly stated that "Lets not make things awkward by discussing further" which clearly means that "don't push this further...i already said no"... Oh good, that was my impression too. If she, you and I all think you sounded pushy, why is it you think you weren't being pushy, and why did you apologise to us, not her? What i want to know is should i give up trying or should i wait till things have probably become normal (Maybe a month or so) and then try again... Do what you want to do. I cannot run your life for you. No-one but you can do that. Also, i was thinking if i try harder she might say "okay... lets give it a try"... Give what a try? I'm sure you're a decent bloke at heart, but you have been pushy and calculating and inconsiderate to her feelings and her right to say no to you. This lack of respect for her feelings, the serious tone of your messages, the fact you waited until she was out of the office, said it by text, and are talking about trying harder to get her to agree to something as yet unexplained, are all big turn offs, and rightly so. Where is the fun? Being calculating and serious and not saying it face to face, and pushing are things people do when they afraid of what they're doing, and so they try to put stabilizers on the whole process. It's good that you expressed your feelings, but it's bad that you've tried to control so much of the process. Take this as a learning experience: Learning how to accept her rejection gracefully and without malice is a good lesson to learn. Learning to accept she is just as entitled to tell you to f*ck off as you are to say you fancy her is a big step in your journey to becoming a more fuller, more complete and real, authentic, confident, kind, respectful, fun person. Just learn to let go. Link to post Share on other sites
Author nishant Posted March 18, 2011 Author Share Posted March 18, 2011 Thanks for the advice... I will keep your advice in mind... Just one last question... Should i apologise to her by texting "Sorry...did not mean to sound pushy... My only intention was to get to know you on a personal level...I can understand how you would have felt...Enjoy your trip home" or just leave it like that? Would appreciate your reply. Also, out of curiosity one more question...Do you think if i could have said the same face 2 face, her answer would have been different... probably towards more positive side... Not saying i will try it out on her again... But when i probably fall for some other girl in the future i will keep your advice in mind... Thanks Link to post Share on other sites
somedude81 Posted March 18, 2011 Share Posted March 18, 2011 Should i apologise to her by texting or just leave it like that? Leave it. Nothing you say now will make it any different. Also, out of curiosity one more question...Do you think if i could have said the same face 2 face, her answer would have been different... Nope, she would have given you the same answer. But when i probably fall for some other girl in the future i will keep your advice in mind... ThanksNo offense but telling a girl you want to be more than friends with her is horrible and very weak. You need to show a girl that you like her through how you interact with her. Never tell a girl how you feel about her before you've gotten physical with her. What you have to do is try to make dates with girls and make moves on them when you are with them. If a girl rejects your date, you know she's not interested. You don't have to tell her that you like her. She knows already. Link to post Share on other sites
betterdeal Posted March 18, 2011 Share Posted March 18, 2011 Maybe have a bit of a read about how to enjoy your senses more. This is a good place to start: http://www.ehow.com/how_4742410_be-sensual.html Link to post Share on other sites
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