yessy21 Posted March 20, 2011 Share Posted March 20, 2011 Have you established what the realtionship with ur husband is like? The pro's and Con's. the thought that the OM had accepted u sleeping next to ur husband every night ? Im greedy and i dont share... why should he? is he that giving? Link to post Share on other sites
alexandria35 Posted March 20, 2011 Share Posted March 20, 2011 Did Dexter Morgan get banned and reincarnated? Seriously, this post offers no real support and no real advice. All it offers is snide remarks to a new poster who hasn't developed a thick skin. So let me graciously welcome our new MW! I hope you find real support here:). My advice to you would be to follow your heart. Do you love your H? Do you love your OM? Is your H a good father? Would OM be a good father? Has he expressed a desire to help you raise your kids? How and why did the A begin in the first place? No man becomes the OM unless he is in love, the male ego can't take being second best or the idea of sharing unless it's love. My guess is he really loves you. Why did you end the A? Fear of getting too close? Fear of being discovered? Fear of real love with someone other than your SO? It takes a lot of thought...which doesn't usually resonate with one liners, btw. Sift through the posts and take the best and what resonates most with you. This post is more offensive than anything WIY said. Will the OM be a good father? Umm...the kids already have a father. Nice to know that cheaters not only think they are allowed to sleep with others, now they figure they can just get their kids a new dad too. Can you imagine it? ..."husband i'm leaving you for another man, and he will be the childrens father from now on too. Thanks for your years of dedication, but your services are no longer required here" This is the selfish "my kids will be happy if I'm happy" bull**** I was talking about in another thread. As for no man becomes the other man unless he's in love. Oh spare me....life is not a harlequin romance novel honey. Have you ever heard men talk? A lot of them consider lonely married women an easy way to get hot sex with no strings attached. Just act like you understand them better than their husband do and stroke their egos and you will have them eating out of the palm of your hand. Sorry, I know that sounds terribly offensive, but I know for a fact that some men talk this way about some married women. I know a guy who got picked on a lot as a kid, wasn't popular as a teenager and the girls usually wouldn't give him the time of day. He felt like both guys and girls looked at him like some kind of loser. Now in his late forties he is much better looking then most men his age and women hit on him all the time including lots of married women. He doesn't feel second best to their husbands, he feels like he's getting his revenge on all the guys that made him feel worthless when he was younger. By screwing their wifes now, he feels like he's giving a big F**K YOU to the husbands and he gets a lot of satisfaction from that. Because he's so good at sweet talking the ladies, these married women have no idea that he is using them as a kind of revenge. Again I'm sorry to offend, I know he's twisted, but that's how he explained it to me. Link to post Share on other sites
anne1707 Posted March 20, 2011 Share Posted March 20, 2011 I find it humorous that WSs speak about intelligence. WiY Why do you feel the need to attack me. I was a WS. I am not one now and haven't been for nearly three years. If my H does not have a problem with me, why is it an issue with you? Also for someone so "new", you do seem to know the history of other posters rather well Link to post Share on other sites
WorldIsYours Posted March 20, 2011 Share Posted March 20, 2011 WiY Why do you feel the need to attack me. I was a WS. I am not one now and haven't been for nearly three years. If my H does not have a problem with me, why is it an issue with you? Ma'am nobody is attacking you. I stated my comments and you stated yours. This woman is not in love with no one and she needs to tell her husband what happened. End of Story. Also for someone so "new", you do seem to know the history of other posters rather well You said that not me. Link to post Share on other sites
anne1707 Posted March 20, 2011 Share Posted March 20, 2011 Ma'am nobody is attacking you. I stated my comments and you stated yours. Not attacking me? Really? OK then, why do you keep dragging up my past then? Link to post Share on other sites
worlybear Posted March 20, 2011 Share Posted March 20, 2011 I have very recently ended a semi-long term affair (I am the one who ended it for the sake of my 3 children), and I need help from anyone who has done this. 1) I find myself missing the OM very much. I know that it is normal to go through a "withdrawal" period after ending an affair. Mainly, I find that I am missing the attention he has given me. For anyone who has been through something similar, how long does this last? I find myself wanting to go back to him but trying hard to resist the temptation. The OM wanted to marry me. 2) Probably related to question 1, I find myself wondering if missing the OM means I should be together with him. I am wondering if anyone has left their marriage for the OM and how it impacts children that are less than age 8. Anything specific you have experienced would be very helpful. Is there anyone who has left their marriage for the OM where it became positive for everyone? Can anyone tell me what specific impact leaving a marriage for another relationship has on young children? I can only speak from personal experience and 2 years ago my then 7yr old daughter was totally shattered when my husband went off with OW. She struggled with the concept of his cheating and will have nothing to do with him at all. 4 older siblings (and yes, it impacts on grown up children too) have all had great difficulty with the complete annihilation of the family unit and swear now,that they will never marry and/or have kids, having witnessed their youngest sister's distress. Just a thought. Link to post Share on other sites
BB07 Posted March 20, 2011 Share Posted March 20, 2011 Not attacking me? Really? OK then, why do you keep dragging up my past then? Ummm that poster (Distant-something or another) had a thing for doing that to any woman who had any history of infidelity, didn't he? Distant seems to have vanished. Perhaps WIY is someone who is reincarnated because of such a troublesome confrontational posting history or perhaps he/she is someone who has been previously banned. Link to post Share on other sites
WorldIsYours Posted March 20, 2011 Share Posted March 20, 2011 Not attacking me? Really? OK then, why do you keep dragging up my past then? No one is dragging up your past except you, ma'am. Link to post Share on other sites
WorldIsYours Posted March 20, 2011 Share Posted March 20, 2011 Ummm that poster (Distant-something or another) had a thing for doing that to any woman who had any history of infidelity, didn't he? Distant seems to have vanished. Perhaps WIY is someone who is reincarnated because of such a troublesome confrontational posting history or perhaps he/she is someone who has been previously banned. Your assumptions are so funny. Link to post Share on other sites
WorldIsYours Posted March 20, 2011 Share Posted March 20, 2011 WiY Oh and ofcourse you MUST be right on everything. Distant memories come to mind of similar posters who somehow ended up getting banned. I wonder why that is... Who said I was right on anything? You. Link to post Share on other sites
whammy Posted March 21, 2011 Share Posted March 21, 2011 I could never understand staying in a marriage for the sake of the children. If you love a man, he is the one you should be with. My ex-husband and I separated when our children were 1, 3 and 11. They all reacted very differently. The youngest was too young to react. The oldest was happy that we finally put an end to our troublesome marriage. The middle one was the one who had the most difficulty adjusting to the new situation. We handled that by letting her live 100% of the time with me until she was emotionally stable enough to handle living every other weekend with her father. I believe the best thing you can do for your children is to be true to yourself. By caring for your own happiness you teach your children to care for theirs once they are adults. By living an authentic life by choosing the man you love you teach them to do the same. My children want me to be happy. They realize staying with their father would not have made me happy. Your children love you. In the end they want what is best for you, and what is best for you is also what is best for them. yeh but your situation doesnt seem relevant. you actually left for husband for the right reasons (seemingly). You left him for you. But women that leave during an affair are usually making the wrong choice. For one, its rarely real love with the affair partner. They dont have a real relationships. The woman sees the AP at his best. She seems him dressed his best, doing his best at work, using his best game on her, etc... Also, not only does she see the other man at his best but their interactions are the best they can be. Their is no talk about bills, no dealing with the mother in laws medical deals, no deal with the child in trouble at school, etc... its all sexual tensions, compliments, desired physical contact. shes doesnt see him watching football in his underwear with hot wing sauce on his face, burping up beer every sunday with his dirty socks on the living room floor. Also, the affair gets in the way of the marriage and makes it worse. A women doesnt even allow her husband to make her happy when she is thinking of another man. put it this way, affairs are not real relationships, the emotions are not the real either. If you were single you probably wouldnt even call this guy back. All an affair does is change yor foever, for the worse, in the eyes of the people that matter. there is no getting over that in my book. If my wife cheated on me, i would forgive her and move on. but from that day forward she would be the woman the took all our love, all our memories, all our connections... everything and and decided it wasnt as important a sucking some randoms d-bags d*ck in a hotel. Link to post Share on other sites
whammy Posted March 21, 2011 Share Posted March 21, 2011 No man becomes the OM unless he is in love, the male ego can't take being second best or the idea of sharing unless it's love. wow... literally the exact opposite of the truth. Link to post Share on other sites
bloppy Posted March 21, 2011 Share Posted March 21, 2011 So true! My H started taking his anger & frustration out on me when he knocked the OW up. Link to post Share on other sites
WorldIsYours Posted March 21, 2011 Share Posted March 21, 2011 So true! My H started taking his anger & frustration out on me when he knocked the OW up. Wow.:eek: Link to post Share on other sites
bloppy Posted March 21, 2011 Share Posted March 21, 2011 Wow.:eek: Wow is right! Link to post Share on other sites
What_Next Posted March 21, 2011 Share Posted March 21, 2011 All this bickering back and forth over an OP that has obviously chosen not to stay involved. Makes little sense to yap back and forth like a bunch of children over this thread. Link to post Share on other sites
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