hopes of a renewed future

[looking to future]

My situation is a complicated one. then again aren't they all. I short explanation of whats brought us to here. I met my wife through a hobby of mine and we had a long distance internet relationship. I then moved in with her and prior to deploying to Iraq for the second time we got married. We have a hers mine and ours family. I have a 17 yr old and a 10 yr old from previous marriage. She has a 7 year old from a previous relationship. Finally we have an 18month old that is ours.

 

Recsently her mom wasd dignosed with cancer. We decided to move back up to the UP michigan where she is from so we can be close to her family and friends. We had chose to move to my hometown the last year and things have not been good at all. The stress of my ex, stepfamily growing pains and issues with my family were providing enough stress for us as a family to deal with. The big added issue that we are now confronting is the fact that after 2 deployments in 3 years my first being really rough I have been suffering from PTSD. Dealing with that. going the the VA disability process cost a ton of issues and stress on the family. I was terrible right after getting home and said and did alot of things that were very hurtful to my wife. Even though I love her I was not in the right state of mind. Eventually things were not as bad but I was still ignoring or hiding the issues. My anger and anxiety outbursts effected everyone in the house on top of our normal stress.

 

So when we decided to move to michigan we had decided that she would go up right away with her son and our baby and half the stuff. I would then follow come summer once my oldest was finished with school. She would find a car and a place up there and have things set up for us to follow.

 

The problem is once she got up there she wanted to do a seperation if you want to call it that. not legal but just take a break. She said I was not getting better and she stood by me the past 9 months ad that has not helped so she is doing a different approach she said that we were to take a break to see if I can get my stuff straighten out she can work with her issues then see where we end up come summer.

At first she said she was filing for legal seperation and was very upset and angry. I freaked out of course did the wrong thing the first night and begg for forgivness another chance. etc.

 

but that obviously didnt help cause she wanted not another freak out. So I gained composure quickly and before finding this forum I had decided to do what you call here LC. I gave her space and only let her contact me. No more begging pleading I just told her I understand what she wants and needs and where she is at and ill focus on taking care of myself and getting better and we wil see how it goes.

 

Well it has done great so far. after not calling her or pining over her. the phone calls from her increased. she called for no reason and just to keep me updated on what she was doing. I maintained a calm composure and merely talked to her as if I would a friend and ended the phone calls quickly.

 

well today she called again to explain what she is doing to get internet up there before and after she moves into the place she found. The good news during the conversation we talk about the things I have been doing to work on me. Before the phone call was over she said well I am liking how this is going and if it continues to be like this we will see when summer comes.

When this seperation first started she said a break and I had to move up there into my own place and we could maybe date again and go from there or something. Well during this phone call she said come summer I am not sure I am back and forth on wether just having you move in once you get here. she said if things keep going like they are and you stay on this path you can just move in again and we can be a family again cause thats whats important.If not I will have to find my own place. She is still willing to be a family we just have to fix some things before we can.

 

So I will keep updates on this threads as the ups and downs go. Hope and Faith is there but still keeping the worse case scenario in my mind. But this is looking better everyday. I love the helpful hints and suport this place has given.

SO I wanted those with hopes of reconciliation to have them see how things go with me over the next three months.