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I'm stupid for breaking NC


fresh8

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I'm on the verge of about 7/8 weeks NC... I've lost track of it.

 

It's been a rough 3 weeks since I last updated. My studies got really crazy with lots of exams and assignments due and work has been challenging but also rewarding as I've left my new employers with quite an impression.

 

However, in the past fortnight, I have missed my ex even more than before. Nearly as bad as when we first broke up. I hate how I still dream about her and wake up thinking about her. That feeling has not left me. Sometimes it does drive me insane. I'm still taking it one day at a time. I have to admit that when I think about life without her, I sort of panic and get scared - if that makes sense. And I get REALLY MAD at myself for feeling down even though I have a great job, great friends and a great life at the moment... I hate it!

 

I just wanted to ask any girls reading something that's still bugging me. And when I think about it - it makes me angry/sad/confused. How can she still seem to love me and enjoy my company, gave me and bought my mom gifts when she was overseas to just break up with me a day later? It just seemed like everything changed over 24-48 hours. Can she really change her mind and then shut me out of their mind just like that? I mean, we had a great relationship and there were no problems... so maybe I'm just hurting because I can't accept that she is able to move on and all I think about is her.

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