Inflikted Posted March 19, 2011 Share Posted March 19, 2011 Let me apologize in advance for this post being so long. Part of me really needs to vent, and part of me hopes people will actually read this and offer some encouraging words or advice. If you read my post, and offer input, I'd like to say thank you, in advance. Anyway, getting to my post... So, I've been thinking a lot about my life, lately, and the more I think about it, the more I feel like I'm just "drowning", so to speak. I'm 22, I'm finishing up my third year of taking classes at a community college, and I'm working a boring dead end part time retail job. I'm just sick of all of it. I feel like I should be further along, like I should be doing something that matters. Over the last year, I've reconnected with old classmates from grade school and high school via Facebook, and so many of them are so much better off than I am. Many of them are just about to graduate from college with bachelors degrees, and already even have entry level positions. Like I said, I'm finishing up my third year at community college, without even a degree to show for anything, and I'm making a little over minimum wage doing part time cashiering. I know some will say not to compare yourself with others, but thing is... All through grade school, and even most of high school, my classmates and teachers always acknowledged me as being one of the smarter ones, someone who could be really successful some day. That made me believe in myself. But considering I've not done much of anything, I can't help but be incredibly disappointed with myself. Thing is, I can't seem to find a "passion" in life. I want to "do" something with my life, but I can't figure out what it is I want to "do". I don't have any particular skills or proficiencies. At best, I'm kind of a technology geek, and I've always kept a computer-related major when taking classes, but nothing specific ever seems to stick. I've spent the last month wracking my brain, trying to figure out what to do. I've been forcing myself to look at other universities to transfer to next semester so I can work towards a more prestigious degree, but all the ones I look at either don't have a degree program that interests me, or my credits from community college won't transfer over (and I'd hate to have to start all over; it'd make me feel like these last three years have been completely meaningless...). So I'm left with taking another year of classes at community college... I just wish things would change. I don't WANT to aimlessly spend another year at community college, but I can't find a suitable university to transfer to. I don't WANT to keep working as a cashier, but jobs seem hard to come by, and I have no qualifications for anything better... It'd be nice to at least have a direction in life, something to work towards. Having a "passion" in life, and being successful at a career was the one thing I've been riding on for the longest time, now. I don't really have anything else. I'm not attractive, I don't have a very interesting or unique personality, I'm not really good at anything, I don't really have any close friends (just frequent acquaintances, really). I feel like I have nothing, like I'm a nobody. I don't know how to turn things around for myself, though. Like I said, I've spent the last month (probably longer, even) Googling various universities, and looking up various careers in the technology field, hoping something will spark my interest and give me a direction, but it just never does. I feel like time is slipping away. I wanted to have things figured out before summer, because I just know I'm going to spend the entire summer frantically panicking about what I'm going to do next, and I don't want to do that. I want to be able to enjoy my summer. But summer seems to be coming so fast... Back in January, I set the goal for myself that, by the end of March, I'd have it figured it, I'd have a plan for next year, and I'd be on the right track, in terms of career prospects. But the weeks have zipped by, March is coming to a close, and I have no more "plans" than I did in January. :/ Link to post Share on other sites
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