DreamerGirl27 Posted March 20, 2011 Share Posted March 20, 2011 I'm at a loss here. I'm very picky. I'm 26, never been in love, never had a relationship that lasted longer than a month and only dated a few other guys and wasn't interested in any of 'em. I simply went because they asked. I have this friend that's a guy that I really like, but he does not like me like that. I had one other guy friend in high school, but neither one of us liked each other like that. So, that was fine, no heartache on either end. Well, now I'm in a friendship with a guy I do like and I can't get over him/it/whatever it is. I'm incredibly picky physically. I have a specific type. I just went through 100 guys on this dating site and found 2 I'm attracted to. One of them happens to be the friend I already have and the other one, I added on my fb profile, but he's engaged. 2 out of a 100 hundred guys was all I was attracted to. I refuse to settle for less than what I'm attracted to, but I'm attracted to one set thing. It's like every other guy on the planet is ugly. I don't know how to not be so shallow and I know looks aren't everything, but when it comes to a point where they literally make you wanna barf, you know you can't just give them a chance. That's how every male is on the planet is to me. Women, on the other hand...I see attractive females EVERYWHERE. But...I'm not bi or lesbian. At all. I'm just attracted to really, feminine features. Even guys I like, tend to have long hair and feminine faces. Most men don't have this, I've noticed, except really young guys. I also happen to be attracted to really young guys and they are never serious relationship material. Now, here's the best part. All I really care to do, my biggest goal at this point in my life is that I REALLY just want to get married and have a family. That's like, my only goal. But how do I do that being as picky as I am? I just cannot get myself emotionally attached to anyone that makes me wanna barf and most men do. I hate to be so...harsh, but it's the truth. Most men I look at are ridiculously unattractive to me, that when I find a guy I actually am attracted to, it's like I wanna rush things and then I drive them away or put myself into the friend zone category. Will I ever find "my type" being as picky as I am, or am I doomed to be alone forever? I refuse to settle. Link to post Share on other sites
dreamingoftigers Posted March 20, 2011 Share Posted March 20, 2011 Well, keep Looking or start settling. Link to post Share on other sites
The dot Posted March 20, 2011 Share Posted March 20, 2011 All I really care to do, my biggest goal at this point in my life is that I REALLY just want to get married and have a family. That's like, my only goal. But how do I do that being as picky as I am? I just cannot get myself emotionally attached to anyone that makes me wanna barf and most men do. Well, everyone has the same dilemma, but most people are more mature in the way they approach it. I realised some years ago that the women who were the hottest and the best in the sack were usually the worst in relationships. Now for me this hasn't been a problem because I live alone and I do so very happily, but for someone who wants to get married and start a family, well, it's an issue. What you need to do is either accept living alone as your future and embrace it, or learn to love a man who is a decent provider for who he is. Link to post Share on other sites
Nikki Sahagin Posted March 20, 2011 Share Posted March 20, 2011 I agree. I find most men to be REALLY unattractive. We always see muscular hot men on the TV and then real life hits you with short, or fat or really hairy. Just not attractive. I see MANY more beautiful women in a day than I see handsome men. I think it is far easier for men to find a beautiful woman that for a woman to find a handsome man. And they say women are not visual creatures and to not be shallow but how can you be in a relationship with someone that's nice and you like but that is NOT attractive. That is probably why you have all these threads with women that go off sex. They were probably never attracted to their partners in the first place. Link to post Share on other sites
asireen Posted March 21, 2011 Share Posted March 21, 2011 2 out of a 100 hundred guys was all I was attracted to. I refuse to settle for less than what I'm attracted to, but I'm attracted to one set thing. It's like every other guy on the planet is ugly. Will I ever find "my type" being as picky as I am, or am I doomed to be alone forever? I refuse to settle. You sound like a conceited young woman with a demeaning attitude towards men in general. Yes, you are destined to be alone forever. It will be a blessing for men that you refuse to settle. Which man would want to deal with that lousy attitude?? Link to post Share on other sites
Woggle Posted March 21, 2011 Share Posted March 21, 2011 If you find women more attractive than men maybe you are gay. Link to post Share on other sites
Dust Posted March 21, 2011 Share Posted March 21, 2011 Well, when people eventually do settle, it doesn’t always feel that way. If only I had a nickel for every love story that started off with some version of “he wasn’t my type at all.” Link to post Share on other sites
Author DreamerGirl27 Posted March 21, 2011 Author Share Posted March 21, 2011 I agree. I find most men to be REALLY unattractive. We always see muscular hot men on the TV and then real life hits you with short, or fat or really hairy. Just not attractive. I see MANY more beautiful women in a day than I see handsome men. I think it is far easier for men to find a beautiful woman that for a woman to find a handsome man. And they say women are not visual creatures and to not be shallow but how can you be in a relationship with someone that's nice and you like but that is NOT attractive. That is probably why you have all these threads with women that go off sex. They were probably never attracted to their partners in the first place. That's exactly how I feel, except I'm not attracted to the muscular type, either. I like stick thin, skinny boys. lol Most skinny boys are 18-20. The older they get, the fatter and uglier. lol It seems like the shallower a man is about appearance, the more accepting people are of it, but when a woman wants a man she's totally attracted to, it's viewed as bad or something. I just want a hot guy that I'm totally physically attracted to! Is that so much to ask??? Link to post Share on other sites
Author DreamerGirl27 Posted March 21, 2011 Author Share Posted March 21, 2011 If you find women more attractive than men maybe you are gay. Nope, definitely not. I just find them more appealing to look at with my eyes, but I'd never touch a woman. The men I tend to find attractive usually have very feminine features, too. Long hair...small built, etc. Link to post Share on other sites
asireen Posted March 21, 2011 Share Posted March 21, 2011 I just want a hot guy that I'm totally physically attracted to! Is that so much to ask??? ... and you think other women will not hit on your guy? I guess you will leave him then. With your attitude, you are destined to remain single. Link to post Share on other sites
Els Posted March 21, 2011 Share Posted March 21, 2011 I see MANY more beautiful women in a day than I see handsome men. I think it is far easier for men to find a beautiful woman that for a woman to find a handsome man. I actually completely agree with this. The standards of beauty for women are simply much higher than they are for men, a relic of a high society in which men did all the slaying and ruling and work, while women's jobs were mostly to look pretty for the men and give birth to children. The roles have been changed now, but it is more of an 'in addition to' rather than 'instead of'... women are expected to look pretty as well as do well in their careers, bring home the bacon, etc. Whereas men usually are expected to work single-mindedly towards their goals and not waste undue time on beauty routines. So all this has led to women spending, on average, double or triple the time and effort with their appearances than men are expected to.. and it shows. You get what you put in - with variation depending on your genetic makeup (height, face, body type, etc), but the rule still loosely holds. Women typically look nicer than men, and that is a fact. If men spent all the time that women do on their leg-shaving, hairstyling, makeup, and eyebrow-plucking... on a grooming routine and more time building muscles, it would probably balance out. Fortunately or unfortunately for me, I care little for appearance, neither mine nor my partner's. But I always did think that women who cared a lot were usually shortchanged in the appearance department. Link to post Share on other sites
D-Lish Posted March 21, 2011 Share Posted March 21, 2011 After I divorced my husband, I never thought I'd find anyone I was attracted to. I just dated for the sake of dating for almost 8 years- and rarely clicked with anyone. I finally met someone that made me open to the idea of love again. He came into my life at a period when I got all my ducks in a row personally. I don't think that was a coincidence. He's the complete opposite of the "type" I have always been attracted to- but the chemistry was off the charts when we met in person. Maybe you're putting too much focus on finding the right person and not enough focus on other things in your life. You might find if you take the pressure off of yourself that you'll find yourself more open to the idea of a different type of man. Link to post Share on other sites
Woggle Posted March 21, 2011 Share Posted March 21, 2011 Nope, definitely not. I just find them more appealing to look at with my eyes, but I'd never touch a woman. The men I tend to find attractive usually have very feminine features, too. Long hair...small built, etc. Maybe not but I know that if I found men more attractive than women and met almost no attractive women then maybe I would look at my sexuality. Link to post Share on other sites
Els Posted March 21, 2011 Share Posted March 21, 2011 Maybe not but I know that if I found men more attractive than women and met almost no attractive women then maybe I would look at my sexuality. It is entirely possible to see someone as more objectively beautiful but not in a sexual manner. I have come across plenty of guys that I would classify as more objectively handsome than my bf, but I'm not sexually attracted to them in the least. Link to post Share on other sites
Woggle Posted March 21, 2011 Share Posted March 21, 2011 It is entirely possible to see someone as more objectively beautiful but not in a sexual manner. I have come across plenty of guys that I would classify as more objectively handsome than my bf, but I'm not sexually attracted to them in the least. But to find people of the same gender attractive while not finding any of the opposite sex attractive raises some flags. I am one of the least homophobic people you can meet but people should know the truth about themselves. Also go to your local supermarket and you will see women just as gross as any man. Link to post Share on other sites
Els Posted March 21, 2011 Share Posted March 21, 2011 No, I'm not interested in women either but I can say quite confidently that there are more pretty women IRL than there are handsome men. Of course, both genders have equal capacity to be 'gross' (overweight, bums, bad hygiene, etc). Link to post Share on other sites
Woggle Posted March 21, 2011 Share Posted March 21, 2011 I don't know where you are looking but where I look there are plenty of gross people equally. The women I see at the supermarket also have gross attitudes as well. Link to post Share on other sites
Els Posted March 21, 2011 Share Posted March 21, 2011 I said both genders have equal capacity to be 'gross'... There's a huge spectrum between 'gross' and good-looking though, and more men fall into this range. Link to post Share on other sites
Author DreamerGirl27 Posted March 21, 2011 Author Share Posted March 21, 2011 Okay Woggle, you're the only one arguing my sexual preference here. I know what it is. If you'd like to battle it out in your head whether I'm lesbian or not, go right ahead, but I'm moving on now thanks. lol Link to post Share on other sites
USMCHokie Posted March 21, 2011 Share Posted March 21, 2011 OP, I think a relevant question to ask is, how attractive are you...? Link to post Share on other sites
Author DreamerGirl27 Posted March 21, 2011 Author Share Posted March 21, 2011 OP, I think a relevant question to ask is, how attractive are you...? I think I'm definitely beautiful enough for my type. A gay friend of mine even said I go for guys uglier than what I can get. I'm just not interested in the model type muscly guy. I'm also not interested in the short, fat, oompa loopma either. Or the bald 50 year old. Soo... I think I'm gorgeous!! Link to post Share on other sites
USMCHokie Posted March 21, 2011 Share Posted March 21, 2011 I think I'm definitely beautiful enough for my type. A gay friend of mine even said I go for guys uglier than what I can get. I'm just not interested in the model type muscly guy. I'm also not interested in the short, fat, oompa loopma either. Or the bald 50 year old. Soo... I think I'm gorgeous!! Fair enough... You know there's quite a lot in between the oompa loompas and old bald men right...? You seem to associate anyone that doesn't fit your ideal skinny boy model as the polar opposite in terms of attractiveness...seems very black and white...and that's probably the source of your frustration...it's not them, it's probably you... Link to post Share on other sites
somedude81 Posted March 21, 2011 Share Posted March 21, 2011 Bah, overly picky women are the reason for bitter men. That's probably why for most of human history, women didn't have a say in who they married etc. I don't mean to be rude, but some women almost seem like children who don't want to eat their vegetables and want to eat nothing but ice cream. Link to post Share on other sites
EyesWideOpen Posted March 22, 2011 Share Posted March 22, 2011 You sound like a conceited young woman with a demeaning attitude towards men in general. Yes, you are destined to be alone forever. It will be a blessing for men that you refuse to settle. Which man would want to deal with that lousy attitude?? QFE! I'm sorry to be rude, but I agree with this statemet 100%. Perhaps you are gorgeous on the outside, but from what I've skimmed...it seems like it's the inner beauty that needs some work. Some of the most amazing people I have met in my life aren't the prettiest of people. But I'll tell you what...take a little time to get to know them and they'll sure as h*ll capture your heart. Also, the funny thing about beauty is that the more you grow to respect and admire another person's soul, the more beautiful they become to you - even though they haven't physically changed one bit. It seems to me that your superficial attitude is limiting you in romantic prospects. Even if you did find someone who fit your criteria and shared your outlook, would you really want to be with them? It's the inner stuff that relationships are built on, not the outer. Continue to look for a guy who is your male equal and you might find yourself in a one-sided and unfulfilling relationship. Link to post Share on other sites
SleeplessRomantic Posted March 22, 2011 Share Posted March 22, 2011 May I ask you why skinny guys with skinny, hairless, feminine frames attract you? Have muscular, testosterone-fueled hairy guys always turned you off? I'm just interested in hearing more. It seems that a few years ago, most of our society was infatuated with feminine esque guys. The girl I was with for about three years, she always compared my looks to Gerard Butler (just a different color of eyes), with the whole rugged, masculine, Alpha traits. She loved that, which was a HUGE confidence boost for me, and explains why I am a Gerard Butler fan these days. I am seriously not tooting my own horn here. I just want to know what has typically attracted you to small guys? Link to post Share on other sites
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