WHY didnt my ex tell me happy birthday?! is it THAT hard?!!!

[Ollie76]

ps. I have absolutely no intention of getting back with him and would never do that, even if he was begging me because of the way he was to me at the end. its over.

 

Seriously? Then why do you care?

 

He's with another girl plus you don't want him back. One less thing you have to worry about.

[Scorpio90]

To Midnight: I dont see how ignoring an ex is being a prick...the dude has a new gf. As long as he's not taunting his ex, he's not being an *******. He's moving on. People dont like being ignored, but so the **** what! Sometimes ignoring people is neccessary cuz its certainly NOT neccessary for him to keep in contact with her. They dont have children together!

But seriously, i dont see these responses to this thread as negative, i see them as tough love & tough luck. These responses r the truth...some r suggestive n some r just people relating to that feeling. Honestly, the person that posted this thread seems to be ina state of denial....how can u not want someone, but get upset when they act like they dont want u. She'z using a defense mechanism to comfort herself it seems....she just needs to get over it. Thats life & thats people in life.

[Iceybreaker]

Good read of the responses..and I have to be honest here

 

Once I started reading responses like "youre pathetic" and "you need an ego boost" turned me away from the forum and I didnt really want to read more or come back, considering I was in a 'hurt' state and joined looking for help and explanations and , obviously, that wasnt really helping..wasnt really helpful at all.

 

I finally came back to read responses today, and I must say Im rly glad midnight was able to understand where im coming from and what she explains is actually how i view my first ex. We dont talk and are not into each other, but if we needed to talk or needed something it wouldnt be such a problem-maybe a little awkward but not bad. As for this guy, ugh, I am completely over this guy, would never want him, or the relationship he has with this young girl. i cant stress that enough.

 

But I believe Im not over the way he treated me and how mean he became towards me when I didnt do anything to him. Why cant ppl end on good terms? Why do i have to be called names and flaunted with pics of him and his new gf and what theyre doing? Why did i get cheated on and get yelled at for it by him as if it was my fault or called a stalker for finding out? All I want is some decency and I cant wrap my head around the way he was so mean to me when i didnt do anything to hurt him. Sure we wouldnt have worked out, but why do you have to be so bad towards me?

 

When we broke off, it wasnt even a normal talk, it was a huge fight and all it was was him calling me names and saying that im the reason why hes so in love with this new girl (as if hes blaming me hes with her, im not really sure?) and i was just taking it all in crying while him yelling at me saying he could care less if i was dead. . And then that was it. Never spoke again. The only times weve "talked" since is me trying to say merry xmas as i figured there are no rules on christmas. How is that chasing after him or being pathetic? Im the one who stepped away and he doesnt know anything about how im doing right now, let alone where im at. The fight was in late september. Obviously time has passed.

 

Perhaps on my bday I thought he would apologize or explain himself since I knew in my heart he thought of me (perhaps?), but i guess ppl will just be cruel and life is unfair, and ill just have to deal with a broken record of namecalling in my head from him when no one in my life has ever even thought of calling me names or disrespecting me. i just cant believe ppl can be so mean to nice people and are so selfish it drives me nuts. It would just make a worlds difference if he apologized sincerely or explained why in the world he turned on me like that.

Edited March 26, 2011 by Iceybreaker

[PelicanPete]

I can see where you're coming from icey. I was nothing but polite and sincere to my ex post breakup. Even though she broke up with me for another guy, I apologized for everything I did that could have caused it and started NC. I was expecting her to break down and apologize at least, because honestly she was a real jerk through the whole post breakup. I have yet to receive one and honestly at this point I don't really care whether I get one or not anymore. You may never want to even have a relationship with your ex again, I was the same way and I get where you're coming from. It would still be nice to be polite or considerate of the person they apparently cared about. Personally I was trying to justify why I even started a relationship with her in the first place, and not getting an apology from her what-so-ever and getting the whole relationship blamed on me just proved I made a huge mistake dating her. Its the betrayal that still hurts, but with time you'll realize how stupid he was to do that to you. I realized it was for the best because I would never want to be with someone that even has the capacity to do that to someone else. While they are running around blindly trying to keep the void in their life filled, you can learn to be happy and complete by yourself, which is the real key to any relationship.

[PinkLazuli]

New girl when you broke up, not speaking for 4 months, hung up on you when you called, didn't respond to your text. He is done with you. Why won't you let him get on with his life? You are no longer a part of it. He doesn't care. It has nothing to do with him being decent or it not being hard to say Happy Birthday. He has no obligation to you for anything.

 

It sounds like you are obsessing over him or hoping that he cares for you. He has shown he doesn't. Leave him alone.

Im in a similar situation. So, thank u for this post. It really helped!!

[dreamingoftigers]

Yeah, he doesn't sound too solid though, I wouldn't take it personally.

[Coolsbreeze]

Personally I was trying to justify why I even started a relationship with her in the first place, and not getting an apology from her what-so-ever and getting the whole relationship blamed on me just proved I made a huge mistake dating her. Its the betrayal that still hurts, but with time you'll realize how stupid he was to do that to you. I realized it was for the best because I would never want to be with someone that even has the capacity to do that to someone else. While they are running around blindly trying to keep the void in their life filled, you can learn to be happy and complete by yourself, which is the real key to any relationship.

 

 

So true my ex was entirely like that when she broke up with me she hooked up with someone in just a week. Months later i realized that she needed a void to be filled, at that point she started treating me like I had killed her cat and that really hurt when she treated me like that. Especially when I cherished every minute I was with her. But I also realized that I didn't want someone like that who could just blindly ignore me so completely. And having her not send me even a simple acknowledgement for my birthday just solidified my belief that she doesn't give one ounce of care for my well being.

[MissMoni]

OP, I am sorry you felt as if people were attacking you. I'm sure that wasn't their intention! I have only been here one month now but I can tell people here really want to help. As for your birthday situation, my birthday was recent too and my ex actually did contact me, thought it was just a "Happy Birthday!" text message that for all I know could have been a mass text message since a couple of our friends share birthdays the same day. Anyway, all I am saying is, be careful what you wish for. In the long run, not hearing from him may help you heal faster, because as it was said to me, you'll get to see the person's true character and then realize, "Why do I need this jerk again?" As for me, my ex wishing me a happy birthday at all basically reminded me deep down my ex was a good person and it just made me even more upset we weren't together...I guess the best thing people like us can do is learn to focus more on ourselves and not let other people define our happiness.