How do I make things right?

[StrangeCanine]

I married a girl I love but wasn't in love with.

 

She thinks I am the greatest thing since sliced bread. She treat me well but I don't think I return the favor. I have been married for a very short amount of time but I never liked the ideal of getting married because I thought it was the right thing to do and it would mean that she could travel with me.(Military)

 

The military thing bottomed out, I got kicked out on my ass.

 

Outside of the I fear and loathe the ideal of marriage because I don't think I should get married for following reason..

 

1. I am bisexual leaning towards men.

She thinks this is kinda hot but immediately freaks out when men take an interest in me or ask me why am I with a woman. (I defend her but it still strikes a nerve.)

 

2. I am a zoophilie.

She thinks this is kinda neat and doesn't have much of a problem with it but I do. I don't think she understands my issues but I have tried explaining it time and time again.

 

3. Mentally I don't feel like I complete her or vice versa.

 

4. I am a extremely sexually charged person and so is she but when I am around her for extended period of time my libido drops drastically.

 

This upsets her so much but she get upset when I have sex with her while not in the mood. She asks me if I am in the mood and would get highly pissed if I lied and just did it anyway.

 

5 I don't trust her any more and I don't open up

 

I am frustrated with this but I won't divorce her because I promised her I wouldn't. I want to know how do you people who are married for a long time make it work? How do I change myself so that I can be right for her? Can I down play my urges and my fears and everything to make this work?

 

I don't know what I am doing..

[Ella whispers]

Get a divorce. Seek help.

[2sure]

Divorce or dont but for crying out loud please dont have a child anytime soon.

[Mme. Chaucer]

Get a divorce.

 

I think you are far too wrapped up in how "special" you are.

 

Also, I don't think it's fair for a human to have sex with animals. They have no say in the matter and I'm sure they would prefer to have sex with their own species than with you.

[Hazel_eyes]

I agree with the poster above and their evaluation. I am not even going to go into the animal thing, as someone who has worked in animal rescue for a couple of years and seen the psychological scars...

 

I personally feel bad for your wife. She adores you and apparently doesn't judge you for your lifestyle preference. Yet you have decided that you don't truly love her and don't trust her. I can't see why you feel this way, it doesn't appear that she has done anything to deserve this.

 

She sounds like a woman with a lot of love to offer. If you don't feel the same way then set her free, she deserves to have a man feel the same adoration and love for her.

[slehcar]

If you love her, set her free. You are holding her back and you are going to end up hurting her in a really bad way if you can't get your sexuality in check. I'm bisexual leaning towards women, married to a man, but I'd still considering doing anything with a woman as cheating, even if my husband gave me the "OK". So, yeah, she should freak out on you if you're letting a guy come on to you. Its crossing a line. If anything, SHE shouldn't trust you!

 

Zoophilia? Really? Seek counseling please, ESPECIALLY if you're compelled to have sex with the animals.

 

You're probably going to hurt her anyway, so its best to do it now while the hurt can be minimal than ten years down the line when you've gotten yourself into an affair with a man, but have children with this woman. She deserves better than that. It sounds like you two got married for all the wrong reasons anyway, so you really should probably break it off now so you can both have a chance at the lives that you want.