Should I be concerned about this/ does it sound fishy?

[starkeeper1]

I met my boyfriend while he was on a business trip for 2 weeks where I live. He lives across the country and we hit it off and decided to become a long distance couple. He has told me that he wants to move here to be with me. We just made our relationship public and he changed his marital status to in a relationship with me on facebook, it took me a while to get him to do this and I changed my status first - however his marital status was always set to be shown to everyone and he reset it to be seen by his friends only. My friends think he's playing me and doesn't want anyone new he meets to know he's in a relationship with me. He also told me he isn't going to use facebook anymore and he has his wall set that nobody can post on it, he had it this way when we met but he did have a lot of girls on there who do reply to his status updates. Should I be concerned or am I overreacting? We dated for the 2 weeks he was here and have communicated for the last month?

[Datura]

So your suspicions along with your friends are based solely on what's going on with his facebook page? Is that it or is there more?

[Omei]

I wouldn't worry about it, I don't think his facebook status tells anything about him playing you, I have been in a LDR over 2 years and my SO didn't put me as his *in a relationship with...* up until 3 weeks ago, and I have never asked we've gone our whole relationship without listing each other.

 

In my personal opinion I don't think guys feel the need to do things like status updates or make sure the world knows they like you, its just not a big thing for them not saying every guy is like this but I think most are.

 

Is this correct, you met for 2 weeks and have been in a relationship for a month?

 

If this is correct think of it this way, perhaps he now feels its been long enough to add that status and before it was too soon.

[folieadeux]

I'll never understand people's reliance on social networking sites.

[2sunny]

first of all - it's not MARITAL status... that may be YOUR agenda - but it's known as RELATIONSHIP status.

 

it's all made up... to represent something that means nothing... except what YOU make of it. hmmm.

 

he's shown evidence that he's sneaky, avoiding and just inconsistent. is that good enough for you? it would never be what i would intend to look for in a man.

[creighton0123]

You're moving things forward very fast.

 

My SO and I have been together for the better part of six months now, 5 of which have been long distance. I only have "In a relationship" (without his name) on facebook. He doesn't even have his relationship status listed.

 

It has never bothered me. If he were to be telling people in person that he is single, that would be a different issue, but he just doesn't want to broadcast his life on facebook.

 

You should be glad he's not addicted to facebook. You should also consider not using it as much as well.

[TokyoG33kyGal]

So your suspicions along with your friends are based solely on what's going on with his facebook page? Is that it or is there more?

 

this.

 

if i were you, i would get to know him more before jumping into conclusions. BUT i have to agree that it sounds fishy.

[EyesWideOpen]

I'm going to play devil's advocate for your boyfriend...

 

You've only been involved for a month?

Phhttt...if someone pressured me within the first couple weeks (or even the first couple months) to "go public" about our "relationship", I would start questioning everything about them. Such as: is she dating me because she can't be alone, and so she's interested in being with someone(anyone) and not necessarily me? Why does she need to parade her relationship status around on facebook, is she trying to prove something to somebody? Is she ultra insecure? Etc...

 

And OF COURSE he has girls on FB that respond to his posts. Just a handful of weeks ago he was SINGLE! Just because you came into the picture four or five weeks ago doesn't mean all the girls he dated/flirted/befriended 6+ weeks ago are going to magically vanish.

 

 

So yeah. His FB actions probably have nothing to do with playing you. More likely he just doesn't perceive it as a relationship yet. Seriously, think about it. You're a month in. You're still very much so learning about this guy (and he about you). At this point, you're just dating. This is no where near the same as being in a relationship.

 

And...in my opinion...when you jump the gun it looks a little flippant. One of my FB pet peves is watching this friend of mine update her relationship status every time she starts dating someone! She has probably changed back and forth between in a relationship and single a half dozen times over the last year! It's ridiculous. I don't even take her relationship updates seriously anymore.

 

 

My advice: Concentrate more on getting to know him and determining whether you would even WANT to be in a relationship with him, rather than whether or not it's officially declared on a social network site.

Edited March 23, 2011 by EyesWideOpen
grammar

[Banker Chick]

I've been dating my boyfriend for a year and 1/2 and we're talking marriage and we aren't even friends on FB. It just doesn't matter to me all that much what he has on his FB and I trust him. While I fully intend to marry this guy, I don't have pictures of him on my FB and my relationship status isn't showing. Everyone in my "real" life know about us and spend time with us so it just doesn't matter to me to what other long distance people know or think I guess.