carissalime Posted March 21, 2011 Share Posted March 21, 2011 Wow..as mentioned in my previous post, i had an abortion a year ago because my husband changed his mind and didnt want kids. He felt he was too old, (45) and that i am too old. I am now 1 month pregnant. I dont have a choice. I am 40, which he says is too old, and he will be an old man when the kid is a teen. The controlling issue continues. I am so hurt. I know that i am way past the age of what is ideal for having a baby. But this man is my husband! He is supposed to love me! Its like I dont have a voice though, even though he says that i do. Part of me just wants to run, run as far away as i can. But where in hell would i go? This is just crazy. I really think im going insane... Link to post Share on other sites
dreamingoftigers Posted March 21, 2011 Share Posted March 21, 2011 Wow..as mentioned in my previous post, i had an abortion a year ago because my husband changed his mind and didnt want kids. He felt he was too old, (45) and that i am too old. I am now 1 month pregnant. I dont have a choice. I am 40, which he says is too old, and he will be an old man when the kid is a teen. The controlling issue continues. I am so hurt. I know that i am way past the age of what is ideal for having a baby. But this man is my husband! He is supposed to love me! Its like I dont have a voice though, even though he says that i do. Part of me just wants to run, run as far away as i can. But where in hell would i go? This is just crazy. I really think im going insane... I assume that they rent apartments in the town you are in. Link to post Share on other sites
betterdeal Posted March 21, 2011 Share Posted March 21, 2011 Lots of women have babies at 40. It is on the outer limits of what's safe, so this is probably your last chance. If you want to have a baby and he doesn't, you get the final say. It's your body and your choice whether or not to have surgery on it. If it means you split up, then that's how life goes. If you want to leave him, do you have family you can rely on? If not, Google for supporty for single mothers and see what resources are available for you. Do what you want to do. Link to post Share on other sites
dreamingoftigers Posted March 21, 2011 Share Posted March 21, 2011 The baby is a Helluva lot more fun then the husband, trust me. Link to post Share on other sites
Mme. Chaucer Posted March 21, 2011 Share Posted March 21, 2011 Until you are at a point where you are willing to regain control of your own body and life, and to stop being a victim, no advise is going to help you. You can't change your husband. We certainly can't. Link to post Share on other sites
betterdeal Posted March 21, 2011 Share Posted March 21, 2011 (edited) Feeling like you're going insane is a common effect of an abusive / difficult relationship. My theory is that when one is in such a situation we are in mental turmoil between what we want to do for ourself and what one thinks one ought to do, based on what one thinks society expects of one, and, usually, what the other party in the relationship tries to force us to think / believe and do. It's an incredibly hard situation to be in. I feel for you. Getting out of that situation will reduce the stress, anxiety, feelings of guilt, inadequacy, confusion and such like. Be kind to yourself. Find a way to get away from this situation. A women's refuge is somewhere to consider. Edited March 21, 2011 by betterdeal Link to post Share on other sites
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