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My best friend likes my ex, what do i do...


turokturok5

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turokturok5

He hasn't admitted it, but i've been split from her for 6 weeks after she dumped me and i know for a FACT that he likes her. It's so blatently obvious, he may as well wear a sign saying "I LOVE HER" everywhere he goes. I'm so confident that he likes her that im not going to explain why i think this, you'll just have to trust me. Anyways, he won't admitt it, but even our other friend thinks it's that obvious too.

 

IDK what to do about it, i mean she asked if she could go over his house, being my best friend, knowing i still have feelings for her, wouldn't he say "no, you can't come over my house alone, your my best friends ex, best friends don't go for their ex's" Instead he proceeds to tell me that she is going to his house and that they are just friends. The next day he told me she didn't end up coming but he seemed upset about it.

 

WHAT DO I DO! I've known him for 10 years and im going to bali with him for 2 weeks in a month, why is he doing this to me, isn't there some un-written law about best friend's ex's, especially when you know that that they still have feelings for them?

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january2011

It seems that spending time with her is more important than your feelings on the matter and by implication your 10-year old friendship. I suspect that the more time he spends with her, the deeper he will fall.

 

While I don't think it's fair for you to make him choose, I think what you do have to decide is whether you want to be there or not to witness all these goings on.

 

I suggest telling him that it upsets you, though if he wants to go for it, it's his choice, but you're not going to stay and watch them get together right under your nose.

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I'm a guy, and I don't get the whole "don't touch my EXes" kind of deal.

 

My EXes are ****ing other men right now and I learned to deal with it. Would you rather be your long time friend, or a stupid junkie?

 

I've actually had a friend of mine date the EX of another friend and they ended up marrying. The guy that first broke with her was actually happy for the 2 of them. In your selfishness, you might be stopping something great from happening. You'll just have to let this one go.

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harmfulsweetz

One of my ex's best friends used to hit on me for a time, well kind of, nothing happened because of my respect for my ex and due to the fact I didn't like his friend like that. But I do see where you're coming from, and january has it spot on, it seems he's putting his feelings for her above your feelings. On the other hand, he hasn't admitted any feelings for her, maybe he is just a friend to her, and she just a friend to him? Maybe because it's still quite new, and raw, (the break up), you're seeing things that aren't there? Like, assuming any guy that goes near her likes her like that?

 

My ex did that (and while he was on the money), he assumed I liked his friend like that too, though I didn't. I just talked to him because we also had my brother in common and other friends.

 

Then again, my best friend talks quite frequently with said ex, and I find it hypocritical of ex to bug me about talking to his friend when he talks to mine. It boils down to trust, do you trust your friend to not break that unspoken rule? I trust mine not to.

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