mogul Posted March 21, 2011 Share Posted March 21, 2011 Recently, there are so many posts about first dates. My question is, does a kiss on the first date mean anything anymore? Is it usually a good indicator the date went well or they were just being nice? Does it differ if it was full on making out, or just a normal kiss on the lips for <10 seconds? Can it be taken as just a sign they were being nice if it was the latter? I have been on all sorts of dates with both and the outcome varies. Link to post Share on other sites
MutteringUrchin Posted March 21, 2011 Share Posted March 21, 2011 It depends on the person you're kissing and what kind of relationship exists prior to the kiss. I've had long, hard kisses -- full contact, with a side-order of make-out sauce -- that meant less than kisses that've lasted three seconds. In short: the relationship makes the kiss; not the length, not what number date it is. Link to post Share on other sites
USMCHokie Posted March 21, 2011 Share Posted March 21, 2011 Recently, there are so many posts about first dates. My question is, does a kiss on the first date mean anything anymore? Is it usually a good indicator the date went well or they were just being nice? I would never kiss a girl on the first date unless I was interested in a second date. Link to post Share on other sites
Darren Taylor Posted March 21, 2011 Share Posted March 21, 2011 IMO, no. Nowadays, dates in general don't mean much these days because multi-dating has become almost the norm. If I'm on a first date and she kisses me, I wonder how many people she kissed. Dating these days seems to be more like a job interview. The fun has seemed to have disappeared. Too many people have a "what's in it for me" attitude. Link to post Share on other sites
Author mogul Posted March 21, 2011 Author Share Posted March 21, 2011 I would never kiss a girl on the first date unless I was interested in a second date. Agreed. I am looking for a woman's perspective since it seems to vary. Also, what else would you say are some indicators of a good first date? Link to post Share on other sites
MutteringUrchin Posted March 21, 2011 Share Posted March 21, 2011 IMO, no. Nowadays, dates in general don't mean much these days because multi-dating has become almost the norm. If I'm on a first date and she kisses me, I wonder how many people she kissed. Dating these days seems to be more like a job interview. The fun has seemed to have disappeared. Too many people have a "what's in it for me" attitude. I used to believe this a few years back. But it depends on where you're dating, man. The pool of women and their expectations in the local community -- whether it's a big city, small town, a village, a farm -- has a drastic effect on their sense of romantic entitlement. Link to post Share on other sites
Darren Taylor Posted March 21, 2011 Share Posted March 21, 2011 I used to believe this a few years back. But it depends on where you're dating, man. The pool of women and their expectations in the local community -- whether it's a big city, small town, a village, a farm -- has a drastic effect on their sense of romantic entitlement. I live 20 minutes from Los Angeles. If you've ever seen the show Laguna Beach, a lot of the women are like the girls from that show. I've never been to England, so I can't say what it's like there. Link to post Share on other sites
USMCHokie Posted March 21, 2011 Share Posted March 21, 2011 Agreed. I am looking for a woman's perspective since it seems to vary. Also, what else would you say are some indicators of a good first date? Excellent question! I was going to start a thread a little while back about that very question after going on a few dates with women I'd met online. From a guy's perspective (well, my perspective...), a big cluebomb that the date did not go so well is if a guy offers to pay for the date, the woman then offers to split the bill, and the guy accepts the girl's offer to go dutch. This happened to me recently where the date just wasn't going so well and I had not interest in the girl...when the check came, I offered to pay for dinner, and when she pulled out her card and offered to split, I quickly agreed...if I'm interested in a girl, I will insist that I pay for the first date and let her pay for the second date... Just a single data point though... Link to post Share on other sites
Eternal Sunshine Posted March 21, 2011 Share Posted March 21, 2011 If I kiss a guy, I want to see him again... Link to post Share on other sites
Knittress Posted March 21, 2011 Share Posted March 21, 2011 I don't think it means much. I'd probably kiss someone just to see if I could enjoy kissing them. I did that actually, and the guy was entirely tepid. Meh. Link to post Share on other sites
Feelin Frisky Posted March 21, 2011 Share Posted March 21, 2011 It means something good. As long as we're not talking about a "kiss off", it's a good thing. It means how do you do you little love bunny. Link to post Share on other sites
IcyBabe Posted March 21, 2011 Share Posted March 21, 2011 I don't think it means much. I'd probably kiss someone just to see if I could enjoy kissing them. I did that actually, and the guy was entirely tepid. Meh. I agree it's mostly a try it on for size kinda thing, like an innocent test to see if the physical chemistry is there as well as the social chemistry. I'm with everyone too though in that I only kiss on the first date if it's a guy I want to see again. I would never kiss a guy on the first date just to be nice because that does nothing but send mixed messages. Link to post Share on other sites
Author mogul Posted March 21, 2011 Author Share Posted March 21, 2011 I agree it's mostly a try it on for size kinda thing, like an innocent test to see if the physical chemistry is there as well as the social chemistry. I'm with everyone too though in that I only kiss on the first date if it's a guy I want to see again. I would never kiss a guy on the first date just to be nice because that does nothing but send mixed messages. Aren't those contradictory statements? "Mostly a try, an innocent test" and "I only kiss on the first date if I want to see him again". Heh Link to post Share on other sites
Cee Posted March 21, 2011 Share Posted March 21, 2011 I don't really know what a man means when he kisses me on the first date. Too often, it seems like he's looking for a one night stand. Because usually he follows up the kiss with an invitation to his place. I'm not fond of a kiss on the first date for that reason. Link to post Share on other sites
angielove Posted March 22, 2011 Share Posted March 22, 2011 I won't actively kiss a guy on the first date, regardless of whether I like him or not (I'm too scared ). If I like the guy and he kisses me, then I will enthusiastically reciprocate the kiss. If I don't like the guy and he kisses me, I will oblige for a few seconds because I want to be polite. Gosh that sounds bad. But I'd rather put up with a short kiss from someone I don't like, then pull away, have them get angry/offended/mean/upset etc, and then feel awkward as I explain why I don't want to kiss them. Link to post Share on other sites
IcyBabe Posted March 22, 2011 Share Posted March 22, 2011 Aren't those contradictory statements? "Mostly a try, an innocent test" and "I only kiss on the first date if I want to see him again". Heh Lol not necessarily, it's an innocent test to see if we're compatible physically as we are emotionally and a test only with a date that I feel a connection with; perhaps "if I want to see him again," wasn't the right choice of words. Link to post Share on other sites
Author mogul Posted March 22, 2011 Author Share Posted March 22, 2011 I won't actively kiss a guy on the first date, regardless of whether I like him or not (I'm too scared ). If I like the guy and he kisses me, then I will enthusiastically reciprocate the kiss. If I don't like the guy and he kisses me, I will oblige for a few seconds because I want to be polite. Gosh that sounds bad. But I'd rather put up with a short kiss from someone I don't like, then pull away, have them get angry/offended/mean/upset etc, and then feel awkward as I explain why I don't want to kiss them. Thats what makes it hard. If you feel obligated to kiss them, how would they know that its not you just being nice? Do you shy away quickly, or not lean in at all? It'd be helpful if you can be a bit more specific. Short of a full on make out during or at the conclusion of a date, I don't know if they are just being nice with a short kiss on the lips. I try to read all the signs before I go for the kiss though. Link to post Share on other sites
Author mogul Posted March 22, 2011 Author Share Posted March 22, 2011 shameless bump. ... thoughts? Link to post Share on other sites
runner Posted March 22, 2011 Share Posted March 22, 2011 shameless bump. ... thoughts? yep, i'm curious to hear more female responses. okay, for my response. simple. if i enjoyed the date, i like her and she looks open to it, then i'm on it. altho a few times i've gotten the dreaded cheek which is what i'm curious to hear about. the couple times i can recall; everything seemed to be going great; i catch her staring at me, giving me the look; and then BAM...cheek Link to post Share on other sites
LondonS Posted March 22, 2011 Share Posted March 22, 2011 I'd only kiss a guy on first date if I really fancied him and want to see him again... Link to post Share on other sites
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