Worried I won't finish my degree due to depression

[Little Bird]

I'm one month away from graduating, but I'm so behind with my assignments. Namely, I haven't done anything, and the projects that are due are worth 50 to 100% of my grade. They are also courses that are required for me to graduate. I find I'm incapable of doing anything, and as each day goes by, I feel a sense of doom. It's stupid of me to come this far to not finish, but I really feel no motivation to do any work because of my depression. Even if I do some how by some miracle complete my projects, I think they'll be so crappy and done at the last minute, that I'll fail anyways.

 

Has anyone been in this kind of situation ? (failed to finish school because of stress, depression, ect.)

[NotKelly]

I'm sure a lot of people have been in your exact situation. Does your school have a student assistance office? They have probably dealt with students who have this very problem and can point you in a good direction for help.

 

Also, many students do not complete their degree requirements "on time." I work at a large university and this is fairly common.

[quankanne]

went an extra semester before graduating because I couldn't handle the stress, and looking back I realize it was a form of depression. I felt like a huge failure and didn't want to tell my dad what was going on because he was so against me even going to college (I was supposed to either marry right out of high school like my sisters did or join the Air Force ... he even invited the recruiter home for dinner to talk me into enlisting!).

 

funny thing was, when I called home, crying that I'd failed, he was really, really understanding and told me that maybe I wasn't supposed to be a december grad, but to just take another semester with the last few courses I needed to pass plus a few fun ones. And he was right ... I had put up expectations that I was psychologically killing myself to reach, when I was just supposed to be enjoying the university experience.

 

at this point, would it be too late to drop a few classes just to avoid getting a bad grade on your transcript, and then focusing on the stuff you *need* to have (i.e., classes that are offered only once in a lifetime or are hard to get into)? That might take some of the stress off you, even though it means going through the summer or even the next semester/quarter.

 

you've got options, you just need to get your head together quickly to weigh them and see what works best. There's no absolute deadline for you to graduate, and you'd be amazed how understanding your family will be, especially if it means pulling a few good grades then, rather than going down in a blaze of flames now because you're not ready ...

 

good luck, kiddo – we know you can do it simply because you've accomplished so much already

[denise_xo]

I'm one month away from graduating, but I'm so behind with my assignments. Namely, I haven't done anything, and the projects that are due are worth 50 to 100% of my grade. They are also courses that are required for me to graduate. I find I'm incapable of doing anything, and as each day goes by, I feel a sense of doom. It's stupid of me to come this far to not finish, but I really feel no motivation to do any work because of my depression. Even if I do some how by some miracle complete my projects, I think they'll be so crappy and done at the last minute, that I'll fail anyways.

 

Has anyone been in this kind of situation ? (failed to finish school because of stress, depression, ect.)

 

I got to a cross road half way through my master's degree (that I had paid shi+ loads of money to do) where I had to choose between 1) failing my master's due to alcohol problems, depression, lack of concentration, not functioning, being physically and mentally absent during lectures etc, and 2) pick myself up somehow. I got counselling, anti-depressants, stopped smoking, stopped drinking, made efforts to otherwise change my lifestyle by doing more exercise and yoga and eating healthy, and I also cut down on some side jobs to get a bit more space to get myself together. I completed it successfully in the end. I could probably have gotten better grades in some of the courses had I not been going through all this nonsense, but I can show my transcript to employers without embarassment.

 

I recommend a counsellor as a starting point. Keep an open mind and discuss with him/her how to practically take this forward, and consider a range of life style changes as well as working on negative thought patterns or taking medication.

 

Good luck

[Little Bird]

Thanks for the kind words.

 

The problem is school is just one of many stressful situations for me right now. My sister hates me (we live together) -she literally does not say one word to me unless I point blank ask her something (i.e. "I need the washroom" and other banal things like that). It's not because I did anything to make her mad, but she's just like that (anti-social, holds grudges). It's also because our family is a dysfunctional mess and the stress of it has made everyone hate each other and miserable. Basically my mom cheated on my dad and remarried and my dad has never recovered from it.

 

On top of that my dad is a mess, he gets drunk several times a week, goes out and drives intoxicated. He was just in a fender bender while drunk and was caught by cops. He refused to comply with the cops and refused to take the breathalizer test, so they're charging him and his license was taken away which will affect his job if he can't drive.

 

The tension at home is unbearable and I hate it so much. I feel like just dropping out of college and leaving and living far far far away from everyone and forgetting that I even have a family.

 

I hate them all so much and I can't tell anyone how stressed out and miserable I am because it would be pointless. Everyone sees me as the super smart, over achieving student who gets perfect grades, but I can't handle trying to be perfect anymore.

 

I can't handle it anymore, so something like trying to write papers seem so trivial and pointless.

[quankanne]

little bird! Don't let their ****ed-upness derail your life! Because they're not worth it. Yes, it's one thing to be concerned (and upset, regarding your sister), but don't give it much more than it needs to be. Mentally take a step back and tell yourself that it's okay to put yourself first right now, because you've got a job to do.

 

and as much as it hurts to be on the receiving end of your sister's attitude, turn it into a blessing by also adopting that behavior for the time being. Believe me, it'll drive her crazy that you're being cool and distant like she is, because I'm more than a little bit sure she needs you to respond the way you have to justify your behavior.

 

YOU come first. No matter how much you love your family, you cannot make them change, nor can you be responsible for their behavior because THEY are grown up. You aren't a bad sibling or daughter for protecting yourself this way, because if you don't no one else cares to.

 

many, many hugs to you,

quank

[highviolet]

I dropped out of school with two credits left, and I regret it so much to this day. I too was feeling a lot of pressure and depression. I talked to my teachers who let me finish my projects late that semester so I got a decent grade for those classes. But I never finished my last 2 credits. I am now trying to go back and finish 5 years later, and it is a huge hassel, the degree requirements changed and I may have to take 30 more credits.

 

Please talk to a counselor for your depression and your professors to try to get extensions. If you need to take time off, DO, but please please please return when you can. It doesn't hurt to talk to your professors and advisors.

[Eve]

What Quank said..

 

Remember also that many of your fellow students are in the same boat, mainly though through going out too much!

 

Ah, sounds like you are the sensitive one of the family. The one who is supposed to soak up all the negativity so everyone else can carry on doing whatever it is they want to do. Classic.

 

Yeah, I would ignore your sister, get an extension and also see if the University can help you to find a room in a shared house somewhere maybe so you can get on with what you need to do.

 

Sorry that your family are SO ignorant of your needs right now but as Quank has said in her own way.. WELL DONE YOU FOR GETTING THIS FAR!

 

Families can be crazy, when they become crazy places its time to re-evalute your options. Right now the world beckons because you have put in the work to do better.

 

Well done again..

 

If you still feel low after all the above, go see your Doctor but I think this is a build up of tension that would normally happen at this point of your studies and the external stuff needs to be dished up and shared around. Don't carry this anymore on your own petal.

 

Chin up! Draw up a to do list. Don't keep this in your head.

 

Take care,

Eve x

[Thedude22]

Stay in school as long as you can pal. If you think you're depressed now just wait until you start applying for jobs and realizing you're degree is about as valuable as a dish towel.