yes we DO everything together

[Janesmith]

What promted these thoughts was that my husband attended a basketball game

without me. Our daughters had dance rehearsal so someone had to stay home. he

wasnt going to go but i told him "honey, you go with your family, ill stay here,

its okay". They were going one state over and he was gone all day.

 

It was

the most amazing feeling to be by my self. I cleaned the house, did laundry

which i frigging hate, cooked a good dnner, folded AND put away the clothes. I

picked up my girls, we hung out n the living room. washed and combed their hair,

we just laughed and had a really good time.

 

I need days like that

 

I realized that i need to miss my husband. Yes, miss him. I need to have an opporunity to

feel that "gee, or wow, i really missed this dude" feeling. Weve been married 17

years and we do everything together. We go shopping, on errands, to the stores,

with the kids, we are always together. He doesnt have friends that he hangs out

with. He has his brother's and he will go out with them maybe once a year by

himself. I will go to shopping or out to lunch with a friend a few times a

year.

 

There are no recreational activites we do toghter. Wait, we just

started going to the gym together, too. When he went to see his family he

hardley ever went alone unless i was out of town, in the hospital, injured or

sick. he has never taken a vacation away from me. he has gone away or business.

i went away once on a girls weekend like 5 years ago. im going again this april.

 

 

We dont tell each other NOT to do things, we just dont. We actually

encourage each other to go to do things. But my husband wouldnt have anyone to

do them with except for me.

 

I think this is not normal

[Toodamnpragmatic]

But if you two are happy that's great. I'm one of those who would think eventually one of you will explode.

 

As weird as it is, I'm shaking my head in amazement that it took 17 years for you to come to this epiphany.....

[xxoo]

My parents were just like this, so it seems normal to me

 

H and I do everything together that we can, but life, work, and parenting limits our time together too much. Do your kids not have conflicting interests/schedules that pull you in different directions? (him with one kid, you with another). Do you work together?

 

We are like you with regard to friends. We each maybe go out with friends once a year (often not at all, but I can't say it never happens). No big reason, other than we want to spend our time together. Again, my parents were like this, too, so it just seems normal to me....

 

edited to add....we do work out separately (mostly), but we are trying to find ways we can manage together What to do with the kids....

Edited March 22, 2011 by xxoo

[She's_NotInLove_w/Me]

My parents (still together) are like this. My FIL & MIL (still together) are like this too. I feel it to be fairly normal.

 

My wife and I workout together at least half of the time (our oldest daughters are 15 & 14, so they can take care of the 5&4 yr old if need be), we spend our free time together, go to events together, and in general are next to one another whenever we can be.

 

Now, to clarify, I am away from home an average of 50-55 hours a week for work. So that provides plenty of seperation, and of course she does occasionally make events that I can't and for her and the kids to visit me at work is a once in a month type deal - typically for a lunch or something like that.

 

I all this time together can work fine for many couples. I know many others would just think our style is way to smothering and/or together. . . but it works for us!

 

edited to add: one caveat to the above statement is that I honestly and truly do not want to end up like either of our parents. Yes they love and care for one another, but they argue and bicker and are unhappy with one another way too much for my tastes. That applies to both of our parents. . .

Edited March 22, 2011 by She's_NotInLove_w/Me

[UnsureinSeattle]

I think it's much more normal than you think, Jane.

[Toodamnpragmatic]

Sorry the OP says he has no friends or no one to hang out with and they ferry kids and spend every minute together. I think that is highly unusual....

 

I spend I think an inordinate amount of time with my spouse, but she has her interests, I have mine..... Doesn't he like sports or activities (TV or doing)? How about going to a game with his friends or daughters and leaving you? I shop almost always with my wife or drive her when she want to. I also will/did take kids to activities so she can catch up or have some alone time. Do you watch every program he does and vice versa?

 

Girls noght out is good for the soul (and usually she actually is happy to what she comes home to:p;)).

 

Don't you have friends to have a coffee with a meal, share a laugh?

 

Sorry major wierd, but good for you.....

[xxoo]

Girls noght out is good for the soul (and usually she actually is happy to what she comes home to:p;)).

.

 

GNO is more stress for me than its worth, so I don't do it

 

Honestly, hanging out in segregated groups of "girls" or "guys" is unappealing to both H and me. We do have friends, but like mixed groups and enjoy them together.

 

We're all different! If it works for the op, good for them.

[She's_NotInLove_w/Me]

Girls Night Out, and/or Guy Time is typically only a few times a year for each of us. Not because we strictly limit it to such, but rather, it just works out that way. . . usually, if there is something one of us would like to do (see a particular band, go to a certain party, hang with a particular crowd, some other new or fun experience), unless it would be odd to go as a couple, we do it together!