Any geniuses around?

[ChessPieceFace]

Chesspiece, if you're of genius IQ, I'll eat my hat. Online tests are lame. Go get yourself tested using SB5.

 

So I should go out and spend actual money and time in order to prove my actual IQ score to someone on a forum who trolled my thread and insulted me. Yep, getting right on that one.

[Ms. Joolie]

I learned how to separate myself from my emotions at a young age, when I lost my father, and my mom nearly lost her mind over it. I always have to be the sensible and logical one in my family. I've also had a tendency to fall madly and obsessively in love with a few girls that never liked me, and get emotionally destroyed. So I tend to see emotions as a weakness that allow you to be hurt or make poor decisions.

 

I am very sorry to hear of the loss of your father at such a young age. You do see for yourself how you coped with this loss though, and also how you have reacted to getting your feelings hurt. These coping/defense mechanisms of yours are what need to be rewired.

 

Instead of coping by being logical and sensible, how else could you be? How or who do you want to be?

 

Instead of defending yourself by shutting down your emotions, how can you use your emotions to your advantage? What feelings do you want present in your life?

 

 

Maybe if I can see any kind of positives from an actual person, then I will have something tangible to balance out all the negatives.

 

You will not "see" anything positive or negative about people. You will just have to start thinking differently about people, about who they are for you, about who you are for them.

 

You can come up with some wonderful reasons to be with people, wonderful reasons to date women. You can also experience wonderful things being with people, wonderful things being with women.

 

Don't get too brainy looking for positives about people. You will have to experience them and create for yourself those experiences of joy, happiness, love, etc, or whatever is important in your life and relationships.

[Euclid]

Genius IQ != Genius

 

I think you are going to need to drop your ego a few notches in order to be successful in a relationship. You are not smarter or better than everyone else because some test gave you a high number.

[threebyfate]

So I should go out and spend actual money and time in order to prove my actual IQ score to someone on a forum who trolled my thread and insulted me. Yep, getting right on that one.

I didn't troll your thread. Just broke down your arguments with logic. And since your arguments aren't rational, as someone who's highly intelligent, you know you can't stand by them.

 

Either pick logic or come back down to earth with the rest of humanity. I recommend the latter since logic and intelligence also have strong places within humanity.

 

And to be frank with you, most of my relationship decisions have been based on a combination of emotions and logic, where logic dominates. This includes my current marriage.

[andrew-bkk]

Bro if you wanna get your dick wet stop being a little phaggot and go get some.

 

Literature. Pure literature.

 

Let me guess ..... somewhere between 170 and 180.

[welikeincrowds]

So I should go out and spend actual money and time in order to prove my actual IQ score to someone on a forum who trolled my thread and insulted me. Yep, getting right on that one.

 

Did you read her initial post? She gave you a reasoned argument that demonstrated an inconsistency in your logic and thus a flaw in your approach. I was looking forward to seeing your reply and I am disappointed that this is what you ended up with.

 

You can add me to the troll pile, because I agree with her; I'd be surprised if you are as smart as you claim to be.

 

But why are we talking about this, anyway? This high IQ claim of yours is practically tangential, because you didn't put much or any effort into correlating it with your, I don't know, struggles in wish fulfillment? Absence of Socratic wisdom? Low sex drive? I have no idea, OP. You certainly didn't ask a question -- although strangely, you imply an expectation that posters -- only those with an acceptable racial profile -- will read your mind and offer you advice. The lack of signal in your post is reminiscent of one who likes to hear himself talk (I'm good at recognizing that one, having extensive personal experience). Neither a careless approach to structure nor a sloppy message are the hallmarks of someone of your intelligence, OP.

[Eddie Edirol]

Ugh, hes not here to get help, he just wants to be told hes right, of course based on little experience and zero successes. No genious there.

[ChessPieceFace]

I am very sorry to hear of the loss of your father at such a young age. You do see for yourself how you coped with this loss though, and also how you have reacted to getting your feelings hurt. These coping/defense mechanisms of yours are what need to be rewired.

 

Instead of coping by being logical and sensible, how else could you be? How or who do you want to be?

 

Instead of defending yourself by shutting down your emotions, how can you use your emotions to your advantage? What feelings do you want present in your life?

 

Thanks for the reply.

 

What do I want to be. That's a good question and it's hard to say. I identify too much with my understated, quiet personality to ever want to be a charismatic "life of the party." I try to imagine somehow being understated while also becoming confident, but it's really a tough one to envision. I've never known anyone who was.

 

I want to retain my personal standards of ethics when pursuing a woman. For instance, I would never go after someone else's girlfriend. That's another strike against me, according to dating guides. Any morals or ethics like that are just getting in the way of "success."

 

I enjoy homebody-type activities, games and such and really don't see that changing. Sometimes I go to karaoke to challenge myself to be less shy. It is helpful in that respect, but at the same time I look at the behaviors of the other people there and just shake my head in disgust. Drunken behavior, carrying on, standing up on tables or being loud and obnoxious. I just cannot stand it.

 

I don't drink and would never want to. That's another strike against me since alcohol is one of the main tools to 'loosen women up.' I question whether I could be with anyone who even drank a little bit. I should probably also mention that my dad died while drunk driving (although I suspect it was alcohol having an interaction with medication, or even foul play, as he had NEVER previously had any problems with acting irresponsibly or not knowing his limits.) That is ONE of the reasons I don't drink but not the only one. His father and my grandmother were also drunks and their families suffered as a result. And I have other reasons as well. He was actually not a drunk and I don't remember him drinking at home, except 1 or 2 beers during football or something.

 

Kind of drawing a blank now, maybe I'll think of more later.

 

You will not "see" anything positive or negative about people. You will just have to start thinking differently about people, about who they are for you, about who you are for them.

 

Right... but I just mean that when I'm imagining some theoretical woman, there is no actual woman there to provide any kind of appeal to compensate any of the generalized faults. I have a tendency to dwell on the worst aspects of things or be afraid of them. I.e. I was afraid to go away to college and it ended up being the best time of my life. So I know that the picture I'm painting is negative and not accurate. Nevertheless, there are still at least grains of truth in what I'm saying, and when I look at the relationships around me I don't see a lot of happiness.

 

Not gonna respond to the others who are just trolling. At least a few people do have some kind of empathy whatsoever.

Edited March 22, 2011 by ChessPieceFace

[callingyouuu]

Anyway, I have been wondering if I'm just too cerebral or detached from my emotions etc. to bother with dating.

 

In terms of dating the vast majority of women, yes. You just see the world a little bit differently. While you interpret it as a "better" way to live, I'm sure you also realize that it comes with a ton of limitations on your ability to date most women just due to incompatibility issues.

 

Whether or not you decide to give up is really only up to you, but I highly doubt that your views are unique enough that you wouldn't be able to find another lass who's compatible with your perspectives on relationships. Get those problem-solving skills to work and just figure out where to meet them.

[callingyouuu]

At least a few people do have some kind of empathy whatsoever.

 

Just as a note, it's REALLY hard to gain empathy from people when your first post immediately creates a "me vs. them" mentality. I understand that it was required for the remainder of the post to make sense, but you did come off as a bit stuck up, which is why you seemed to start off with negative cool points.

[Feelin Frisky]

IQ is almost total bullshi+ with what we no understand of the nature of the human mind. What an IO test only does is reflects your degree of "readiness" to solve the kinds of "calculating" problems that the test is comprised of. IQ is therefore effectively assessing your current ability to "compute". Since we have "computers" now to do th "computing" for us, the measure of depth and potential of an individual must be redefined or perhaps defined properly for the first time. What I alluded to in the opening statement about "what we now understand" about the human mind is that it is NOT the pre-determined "computing machine" it was long assumed. It is not like that at all. It's an organic growth machine which builds its own capacity to accommodate the kinds of challenges we place upon ourselves. A lot of the "stuff" of education has no "personal" connection to the student and so, many young people do not "connect" with the arts and sciences they are required to learn. They may get passing grades or even good grades but be very far from believing themselves capable of mastery. It is only through age and experience that we find "connection" with the meaning of things and then internalize them wherefrom we growth the capacity we need to master them.

 

This is a radical departure from the grounds upon which the existing Industrial Age Factory model of education system is based. Everyone agrees that there is something "wrong" with education but not many people know that there are newly discovered grounds where carrying out traditional "processing" of "students" in the factory regimen actually constitutes institutionalized dysfunction where many people's minds are being as negatively effected as they are positively. All knowledge is compromised and achieved through a trade off most of us do not yet even understand. This is part of what I'm interested in doing with my art--creating a media environment which can let people "lead themselves" to understand and connect with the furthest merits of all things they do. Merely acquiescing to authority and getting a letter grade will not be considered good enough in the future once we change technology to create a culture which understands it.

 

Discovering intricate details like this about who we are and why do and don't do things in our lives is what has become the source material of my art. The actual output or art product will hopefully be the one technology everyone will some day have to have--the technology that opens the greatest door to understanding. I wouldn't know what I know or care what I care about if I had been a cooperating dweeb in school with some kind of authority now to defend. I've always seen problems with institutions and tried to insulate myself from their harmful effects. Now it's time to get my pay-back.

[mogul]

Bro i already know your trolling. But damn you must be bored as fack. Troll having to use perfect grammar thats crazy brah. And i like how you act like because you have a high Iq your on a different level then the rest of the human race. Your really not. And if your a real person you can't find a chick because you have a high IQ but your fackin stupid. You don't know life. If i was you i would just clone my perfect female. Fack all the other bs. You got the brains to do it brah.

 

Wow, horrible grammar and spelling makes my head hurt. Don't come on here insulting people. If you do, try to do it with a bit of wit. Entertain me.

 

To the OP (Chess), what field/industry are you in for work?

[ChessPieceFace]

Currently working as a math & physics tutor and not making much. The constant problem-solving in my job certainly doesn't help me get away from that mindset in my life otherwise. I have a BSEE but I don't like any of the job descriptions I've seen in my area, and don't want to relocate. TBH I don't really like engineering. I only liked the first couple years of classes when it was theory. I should have gone into theory/research instead of application. I wish I had taken the MBTI personality type test before choosing a major in college.

[andrew-bkk]

Currently working as a math & physics tutor and not making much. The constant problem-solving in my job certainly doesn't help me get away from that mindset in my life otherwise. I have a BSEE but I don't like any of the job descriptions I've seen in my area, and don't want to relocate. TBH I don't really like engineering. I only liked the first couple years of classes when it was theory. I should have gone into theory/research instead of application. I wish I had taken the MBTI personality type test before choosing a major in college.

 

Are you a virgin? Do you think about women sexually?

[ChessPieceFace]

Yes, and I think so? But after 35 years I can take care of myself obviously. So, I dunno. In a way I find it confusing that anyone would be sexually dependent on another person. If I didn't have working hands then that would be a much bigger problem.

 

In seriousness, I am concerned about issues with intimacy. But that's getting way ahead of things. As mentioned I don't believe in cheap sex or one-night stands. So if I can't get past a first date without doing everything wrong or being the total opposite of what women want, I don't need to spend time worrying about what happens after several/many more of them, since that won't happen. I've never even been ON a first date. I've been in several situations with girls which may have beared similarity to dates, but were never officially dates. And that was 10-15 years ago.

[mogul]

You possibly need to try a different approach. Approach a girl you see any potential in with no expectations and let it flow. You don't have to change your target, just your mindset.

 

Maybe you can join clubs (chess?) or other things that interest you that would attract the crowd you are interested in. Possibly look in to Mensa if you feel you would qualify?

[denise_xo]

I dunno, does it? I feel I'm losing touch with my emotional side entirely. Like I see people's emotions but can't participate in them for a number of reasons. I learned how to separate myself from my emotions at a young age, when I lost my father, and my mom nearly lost her mind over it. I always have to be the sensible and logical one in my family. I've also had a tendency to fall madly and obsessively in love with a few girls that never liked me, and get emotionally destroyed. So I tend to see emotions as a weakness that allow you to be hurt or make poor decisions.

 

I know you didn't want non-genius answers so here's the warning not to read further up front, but the above just stood out to me.

 

There's emotions and there's emotions. The way I understand those who do neurological research, is that emotions actually form an important part of decision making processes. Read e.g. the neuroscientist Antonio Damasio's book 'The feeling of what happens' (I'm sure he also has more recent publications that I haven't read). In short, one of the arguments in that book is that emotions are actually integral to making good decisions, rather than making the decisions poor. That obviously doesn't mean that all emotions are 'good' in the sense that they should be acted upon. But shutting them out completely can in fact lower people's ability to make the right decisions. You might want to consider this argument in the light if your own situation.

[sniffys]

chess..

 

i understand youre a genius but in a sense that is somewhat exhausting. what do you usually talk about when you talk to girls? i mean exhausting cause ..you seem so profound. like in every post / sentence.. its not necessarily bad, but probably not for the general masses.

 

i been close friends/romantically/platonically with a guy but we never hooked up cause hes way younger than me. i have a bf now too anyways. we still talk, and i think he is a genius. he has a phd at 20 and now an engineer at one of the top 10 defense contractors in u.s.

we dont talk about math or anything the whole time..but i think he also attracts other girls because he is intelligent. he is smart but he isnt boring. he thinks about what women want before his needs, but what i do notice is that he doesnt sacrifice his morals or what he believes in just for a girl or just to get a girl.

 

you can probably meet a girl you'd love/potentially marry by joining clubs or doing things that you're interested/passionate about. like chess club, etc.

i think mensa also has some social clubs but i wouldnt know about that

[mogul]

chess..

 

 

you can probably meet a girl you'd love/potentially marry by joining clubs or doing things that you're interested/passionate about. like chess club, etc.

i think mensa also has some social clubs but i wouldnt know about that

 

Lol, basically my suggestions a few posts back. OP, seriously look in to it if you haven't yet. Might be a good place to start, good luck.

[self-improvement]

 

In seriousness, I am concerned about issues with intimacy. But that's getting way ahead of things. As mentioned I don't believe in cheap sex or one-night stands. So if I can't get past a first date without doing everything wrong or being the total opposite of what women want, I don't need to spend time worrying about what happens after several/many more of them, since that won't happen. I've never even been ON a first date. I've been in several situations with girls which may have beared similarity to dates, but were never officially dates. And that was 10-15 years ago.

 

There we go. Stop blaming your IQ, the reasons obviously lie elsewhere.

I would like to add a couple of things:

1) Why do you use your intelligence as a repellent? Let it work FOR you, just like hot super models use their looks.

2) let your little head do the thinking once in a while. Reading some of your posts on here, it's crazy how you have over-analyzed your behavior, your standards, other people, society... It makes you so inflexible in your thinking, because you already mapped everything out in your head. That way it's easy to find an explanation/excuse for every contingency you could encounter in the (dating) world.

3) stop trying to be a do-gooder. It's good to have moral and ethical standards, but in your case it comes across as self-praise of a wannabe godlike creature, in the sense of "I have higher standards than all those other shallow creatures called human beings." Total turn-off.

 

Sorry if I'm giving you suggestions on how to change, knowing that you really don't want to.

[ChessPieceFace]

what do you usually talk about when you talk to girls? i mean exhausting cause ..you seem so profound. like in every post / sentence.. its not necessarily bad, but probably not for the general masses.

 

Yeah, I am pretty focused on the big picture, "heavy" issues and "figuring out life" -- which I mostly talk about on forums. But even IRL I don't really have as much interest in trivial things anymore. I can't really tell you what I talk about with women on dates since I haven't tried dating any in 10-15 years and I'm a very different person now than then. I wasn't any better back then though.

 

When I'm with friends or whatever... I usually don't talk about much at all. If the lone person I'm with shares some interest(s) of mine then I'll focus on that. In a group I just let other people talk, maybe occasionally interjecting if I have something relevant. I'm usually happier with my own thoughts. I'm a good listener though and can provide good input to a conversation when it's about someone else's stuff. Most of my family just talks and talks and talks, and as a result I think I stopped bothering trying to participate.

 

I don't really have much to talk about with my own life though. First off, my life is intensely boring right now. Secondly, a lot of my interests involve stuff most people wouldn't care about. If there is a topic I'm interested in that other people might be interested in, I probably have a strong opinion about it and don't want to risk starting political/religious/ideological arguments in general, or just depressing them. And third, I'm afraid to bring up a topic unless I think the person is already interested in it, or it relates to another known interest. "Fear of rejection" re: topic of conversation? Guess I'd rather be silent than spend effort just to bore someone.

 

Recently, one of my closer friends (male) asked me to just "hang out", with no real plan or purpose. I would have gone if there were any kind of activity involved, but not just "hanging out." I made excuses why I didn't want to go, but really I didn't go because I was afraid we would have nothing to talk about. We used to talk about a certain game all the time which we both were heavily into, but he stopped playing it. He also recently stopped dating one of my relatives (awkward) and started dating someone that hates said relative, so that stifles the family side of conversation. It turns out that with those restrictions in place, it's hard for me to find anything to talk with him about at all.

 

Some references in sci-fi make me think I am not alone in this. Several in Star Trek, but one in Hitchhiker's Guide is my favorite, where Ford Prefect muses that if humans stop moving their mouths, their brains start working.

 

As for mensa -- thought about it, but I dunno. It's gotta be mostly guys that join that, so I'd be in the same boat really. I was actually going to join their forums but it's a pain. And I was only going to do so to basically post this same topic there, to try to get a more focused audience.

Edited March 22, 2011 by ChessPieceFace

[denise_xo]

Just adding to my post above and also some of the sentiments in self-improvement's post: You might want to look into the differences between theoretical and experiential knowledge. Some Mensa-level people tend to create a clear hierarchy of knowledges where the logical/intellectual one comes on top (as you did with relegating 'emotions' to something anti-intellectual). In terms of lived life, reality isn't hierarchical in that sense and what you might want to consider instead is that different kinds of knowledges serve different kinds of purposes, and 'logical' knowledge isn't a solve-it-all. There is a huge body of research on 'expertise', for example, which illustrates the very intricate ways in which 'know that' works together with internalised 'know how' and what is often referred to as 'intuition', 'practical knowledge', 'reflective practice', etc etc, the point being that to become accomplished you need to move beyond logical rules. This applies, IMO, not just to working lives but to our lives in general, and connects back to some of things that Frisky said about real 'meaning' in education as well as to what I said about emotions above. You can read e.g. Dreyfus and Dreyfus' model of expertise for an example.

[OliveOyl]

Have you ever heard of the term "emotional intelligence?"

There are many forms of intelligence. That which is measured by IQ is just one type.

 

I just have one bit of simple advice for you.

 

Stop thinking so much.

Start doing more.

[fishtaco]

Logic and reasoning has no place in attraction. And attraction is a big part of dating. There is a logical side. It tells you when you get the hell out, and not to put yourself in bad situations. But the attraction part, is completely not connected to logic. I understand this is only a theory, and my IQ isn't nearly as high as yours, so I don't want to argue, but have you read about MHC? I believe in science, and I believe our feelings are instincts driven by chemicals floating in our bodies. So some instinct that helped us survive when we were all cave men kicks in, causes your body to squirt some chemicals into your brain, then suddenly attraction happens. It has nothing to do with logic and reasoning. If you approach attraction with IQ, you lose.

 

Also, no one like to be around smarty pants. If you throw your IQ around, people will get turned off. What people like, is other people that are as dumb as they are, but funny.

 

I believe your IQ will help you succeed in life. But it's not going to help you date one bit. Dating is all about street smarts. Experience. Pattern recognition.

 

Your IQ is impressively high. But I don't think your social IQ is high. If you believe in such a thing as social IQ.

[snug.bunny]

The mind of a mathematician are generally cynics by nature. Or are they true optimists? If they do not conform to possessions but rather they live their life according to the natural world versus the physical.

 

Someone who knows the price of everything, but the value of nothing...would be the negative cynic.

 

So, how does this particular mindset transition into the framework of an intimate relationship (i.e. thought versus belief versus feeling)? A sneering fault finder or merely a genius.

 

It's open for interpretation.....

 

As for being 35 and not having a single relationship under your belt, well, you have plenty of time to change that, or not. How you go about changing that, is a question for you to solve, if it is something you really want to achieve. It begins with being open to the idea of forming a relationship with someone and then allowing nature to take it's course. Part of that includes finding someone (or them finding you) who is open to a relationship as well, because it does have to be mutual.