Opening a Marriage and Overcoming Jealousy-Can I do it?

[lytike23]

My husband and I have been together for 7 years and we got together when he was pretty young. He's only been with one other woman. We've had a threesome with another guy, but he has also let me know he wants to have sex with other women and wants to stay married. We are happily married, but I have to say this prospect has made my jealousy go CRAZY! I have made a plan to journal and work on my jealousy and let him have these other experiences with women since I don't want to feel like I am depriving him and suffocating him. But I just want to reach out to others and find out if I am being truly naive? Honestly the thought of having sex with other people kind of excites me but then the thought of him with another woman makes me want to pull my hair out. Can the battle of jealousy be won?

[Brenfy]

No. If you enter into relationship desiring & expecting monogamy I don't see how you'd be able to convince yourself that you no longer want it. Especially if you are a jealous person.

 

This will not end well.

[UnsureinSeattle]

Well, I don't think that I could do it. Can you? Maybe. There are two things I see here:

 

It sounds like you are interested in the marriage being "open" on your side.

 

It sounds like you are not interested in your husband sharing that same openness.

 

Those two things can't coexist.

 

I think you need to sit down with him and have a very frank talk about what you are allowed to do and not do- what boundaries you would like adhered to. Give and take. You don't have to jump into sleeping with everybody ever at first... dip your toes in. Make sure the boundaries you both agree to are adhered to.

 

As I say, I don't think I could do it. But there are couples who seemingly can.

[Mme. Chaucer]

I don't think it can ever possibly work unless BOTH partners are equally into it. For the record, it would NEVER work for me. I would hate it.

[Spreight]

You do hear stories of free love marriages and I have always wondered how this works in reality especially if jealousy is involved....