C'est La Vie Posted March 22, 2011 Share Posted March 22, 2011 A few months ago, I met a guy at work. We quickly became very good friends, and also admitted to mutual feelings for each other. I consider him one of my best friends already. He is sweet, considerate, caring, kind, etc. The dilemma: he already has a long-term girlfriend. Nothing happened between the two of us, except an expression of mutual feelings (yes, that probably shouldn't have even happened while he had a relationship going, but I can't change the past now.) The thing about this guy: he is somebody I want in my life forever. I could never ask for a better friend. In all honesty, if I could see myself ever settling down permanently with somebody, it would be him - or somebody like him. However, I am only about to be 22, and he just turned 22 - I know I am nowhere near ready to settle down with one person just yet. I want to be with him, but there are too many obstacles (the girlfriend, and me not being at the right point in my life to settle down). Around the same time, I met another guy. To be honest, this guy and I didn't like each other when we first met. We butted heads all the time. He frustrated me like no other, and I often felt as if I just wanted to reach out and slap him (I never did, I just felt like it). But then, a couple of months ago, we began talking more. We began to understand each other. Now we are seeing eye-to-eye. At first, I just developed a sexual attraction towards him... but then the more we talked, the more I saw the "good" parts of him. Now, I look forward to each day I get to see him and talk to him. We actually are quite a bit alike, which may be a reason we butted heads so much when we first met. With this guy, I want him right now. I'm not sure if I could see myself settling down with him or not - but that's fine, because "settling down" isn't something I want to focus on right now. I want to be his friend, and I think it'd be nice to be more than friends. He says he feels the same. The problem here, however: he has a "girlfriend" - actually, a girl he has been on-and-off with for a few years. He also has two kids - which doesn't particularly bother me, but I'm not looking to be a "mommy" figure. I enjoy both their company. I have feelings for both of them. I want one right now, and to just see where things go with him... and the other, I just can't see myself being with right now because I care for him so much that I would actually want a future with him, which I know I would screw up if I even tried to make it happen anytime soon. Doesn't make much sense, does it? The bigger problem here: the two of them are friends with each other. I wouldn't consider them "great" friends - but they're still friends, nonetheless. So I guess I'm scared that if anything did happen between guy #2 and I, that #1 would be upset about it, and that would ruin any chances I may have with him later down the road. It's just a confusing situation for me - a situation I have never been in before. Link to post Share on other sites
Teknoe Posted March 23, 2011 Share Posted March 23, 2011 Girl, pray! Link to post Share on other sites
carhill Posted March 23, 2011 Share Posted March 23, 2011 Why not look behind door #3, which contains single and unattached men? There's tons of them at your age. A key lesson is that these men, already in admitted relationships, were/are expressing their feelings to you openly. How would you feel if they were doing that with their girlfriends standing next to them? Or, more personally, you were standing next to them as they said the words shared with you to another woman. Life's an interesting journey. Many lessons to learn. Enjoy Link to post Share on other sites
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