Rekindling an old flame?

[rosie30]

Six years ago I moved from the east coast to the west coast. A few days before I left I met the coolest guy I've ever met. As absurd as it was to begin a relationship long distance, we did anyway. Things did not work out, partially due to the distance, partially to me being young and really not ready for a serious relationship (I was 22). He's several years older. The way things ended left him pretty hurt. We've been in fairly regular communication since then as friends and we've seen each other a handful of times through travel. I went through a real rough patch in my life where I wasn't as good to him as I should have been. He's been kind to me, but understandably a bit guarded. I think he's naturally very shy. I've always liked him, I might even venture to say always loved him, but I'm horrified when I think about how I acted in the past.

 

I'm moving back to the area he lives in soon (not because of him, because of another opportunity). The last time we talked he wanted to talk about relationships, which was unusual for him. We had such a great conversation I've been afraid to call him back for fear that I got my hopes up too high based on some of the things he said. He was talking about relationships in general, so he might have been hinting at the fact that he's seeing someone, or he might have been trying to broach the subject with me. I don't know which.

 

He rarely calls me; it's usually me calling him. I'm afraid to call him too much. I usually call about once a month. How much is too much? I'm afraid to tell him I still have feelings for him because I feel at this point we think of each other as friends. I don't know what to do. I think it would be better for both of us if I let him take the let him take the lead, but I would like to encourage him. How do I do that? I should probably wait until I'm actually back in the area to do any such thing. I'll wait as long as it takes. I've already waited six years. Help! Please!