makelemonade1974 Posted March 22, 2011 Share Posted March 22, 2011 Well I'm in trouble. I'm in serious like / lust. Guy is a sweetheart, we talked about the over-texting and he stopped. Had an afternoon date today and he gave me a tour of his office and introduced me to all his colleagues. I've also met two of his closest friends. This is the second date. Kissing is AMAZING - so much chemistry. I like him - it seems like he likes me seriously judging from all the introductions. I need some sex. How long do I have to wait without looking like a slut. I want to keep this one. Don't want to lose respect for me. We are seeing each other this weekend, so that is technically our third date. But as it's only been a week, I think sex on the third date is a little too soon. How long do I wait? 2 weeks? 3 weeks? If I wait longer does he like me more? He's an enteprenuer (how do you spell this darn word) type - so kind of into chasing / winning, etc. His friend's girlfriend says he's a nice guy, not a man whore, and I'm the only girl she's ever seen him with. Good sign? Yes? I'm going to stop multi-dating. I'm picking this one. How long until I can have me sum luhvinz? Link to post Share on other sites
jane100 Posted March 22, 2011 Share Posted March 22, 2011 (edited) You must be new back to the dating game? Wait as long as you can. 5th date? Can you make it? 7th? Seriously, men love being made to wait. Its pathetic, but absolutely true. Meanwhile, use your eyes and ears... so its all good (waiting I mean). I waited till 3rd. Not long enough. WAIT! If you can't cope with it physically, don't stay long, make a respectable exit, and make an excuse that sounds genuine (your neice is getting married, whatever!) Edited March 22, 2011 by jane100 Link to post Share on other sites
Sabali Posted March 22, 2011 Share Posted March 22, 2011 How long until I can have me sum luhvinz? Immediately. Pick up some condoms on your way over. I'll leave the door open for you. Link to post Share on other sites
one goal Posted March 22, 2011 Share Posted March 22, 2011 LOL. Well based on your avatar you look really hot! I'm sure he would love to bone you right now! Link to post Share on other sites
Feelin Frisky Posted March 22, 2011 Share Posted March 22, 2011 I don't think it automatically makes you slutty. But for your best good I recommend trying to be as classy as possible in making it into bed with him and don't look like you're in a hurry because you "need sex". Play it by ear and acknowledge as you go along that you would not be resistant to him going all the way with you. Maybe you'll want to put a few little restraints on the first time like perhaps not tonsil-fuc_king him like you've had a world of practice. Hide some of your wiles for long term introduction with class and restraint. Good luck--you can do this without messing it up and feeling bad about yourself. Link to post Share on other sites
utterer of lies Posted March 22, 2011 Share Posted March 22, 2011 I need some sex. How long do I have to wait without looking like a slut. I want to keep this one. Don't want to lose respect for me. We are seeing each other this weekend, so that is technically our third date. But as it's only been a week, I think sex on the third date is a little too soon. How long do I wait? 2 weeks? 3 weeks? If I wait longer does he like me more? How old are you? If you were really born in 1974, why do you care about this teenager crap? If he's the kind of guy who respects you less and wants nothing more of you after having sex with you, nothing is lost, and it's probably better you found out after only a few days. And if he's the right guy, and you both want it, why would you possibly wait just to get the approval the internet morality brigade... Link to post Share on other sites
blackmagik Posted March 23, 2011 Share Posted March 23, 2011 Wasn't this the same guy who was talking about sex and stuff already and how amazing it would be with you? I think you need to make him wait as long as you can. Seriously. At least six weeks or more. That will give you enough time to see if he is in it just for the sex or for the relationship that you want to have with him. Plus just think how much better it will be after you have waited for so long. I know first time sex can be outstanding, especially if you have built that chemistry / sexual tension. Link to post Share on other sites
Author makelemonade1974 Posted March 23, 2011 Author Share Posted March 23, 2011 I was married for 9 years and just got out of a 2 year relationship. I don't know s h i t about dating. Sorry to bother you. If you're not interested in the thread, then don't respond. TROLL Link to post Share on other sites
Author makelemonade1974 Posted March 23, 2011 Author Share Posted March 23, 2011 magik - yep, same guy. And I think you are right. It's just uh difficult. Link to post Share on other sites
oaks Posted March 23, 2011 Share Posted March 23, 2011 I need some sex. Go for it. Don't forget to give us an update. Link to post Share on other sites
sugarmomma Posted March 23, 2011 Share Posted March 23, 2011 Get a vibrator and make him wait at least 6-8 weeks. lol Link to post Share on other sites
Ruby Slippers Posted March 23, 2011 Share Posted March 23, 2011 The longer he waits, the more he will want you (within reason). In your situation, I'd wait at least a month -- an eternity by today's standards. Link to post Share on other sites
Star Gazer Posted March 23, 2011 Share Posted March 23, 2011 I'd wait until you've established exclusivity, and even then, no sooner than 5 substantial dates. Link to post Share on other sites
sally4sara Posted March 23, 2011 Share Posted March 23, 2011 Have sex when you want to and when you feel the time is right. If its too soon for him AND he is a good guy - he will ask for more time before becoming intimate. No guy who will go ahead and have sex with you only to declare you a "slut" after is worth keeping. If you two end up having sex when you want and its too soon for him to still respect you it means there is a lack of compatibility despite the attraction. The best relationships have a flow about them that doesn't leave you second guessing. Link to post Share on other sites
D-Lish Posted March 23, 2011 Share Posted March 23, 2011 I'd wait until you've established exclusivity, and even then, no sooner than 5 substantial dates. I agree with this. I waited about a month with my current guy and I wish I'd waited longer. Link to post Share on other sites
tigressA Posted March 23, 2011 Share Posted March 23, 2011 At minimum, I'd just wait until exclusivity has been established--don't rush it, just let it happen. You shouldn't engage in sex before knowing where you stand with the guy; it will just make you feel really insecure. Link to post Share on other sites
allenmj Posted March 23, 2011 Share Posted March 23, 2011 (edited) At minimum, I'd just wait until exclusivity has been established--don't rush it, just let it happen. You shouldn't engage in sex before knowing where you stand with the guy; it will just make you feel really insecure. ^ this. As a guy, let me assure you it's ok to make us wait. Take care of your, ahem, needs on your own for a bit. Maybe use fantasies of him while you're with..uh, yourself. Don't rush it. If your concerned enough to ask, that means you run the risk of feeling bad about it if it goes too quickly. Good luck! Edited March 23, 2011 by allenmj Forgot a word. ;) Link to post Share on other sites
blackmagik Posted March 23, 2011 Share Posted March 23, 2011 magik - yep, same guy. And I think you are right. It's just uh difficult. Well, lets put it this way. If I was that guy and you gave it up that early after I talked about it. I would think you were pretty easy, and thus get bored pretty quickly. Hold out for your own good. Link to post Share on other sites
Eternal Sunshine Posted March 23, 2011 Share Posted March 23, 2011 I am 3 weeks in with the current guy and plan to wait for 2 months. Link to post Share on other sites
OliveOyl Posted March 23, 2011 Share Posted March 23, 2011 I don't get it. Is this an age-related thing? I'm surprised to hear this from non-virgin women over 30... Waiting 6-8 weeks, 2 months, 3 months... what difference does it make after a few dates? Pregnancy and STDs are very real and serious issues.... I can totally understand waiting because a woman doesn't want to take any risks until she knows the man well enough. But because you're afraid the guy will get "bored"? I don't quite get the reasoning. Say "Hit it and Quit it" Guy only wants sex and not a serious LTR. You have sex on the 3rd date. You never hear from him again. Problem? Not really. You know he doesn't want the same thing. But still... is it a problem? You both had fun, no? Or is sex only a tool to get the guy to commit? You can only enjoy it if it leads to something? You feel used? Why would you feel used if you enjoyed it too? Do you feel your worth depreciates with each new person you have sex with, like a used car with a rising odometer? But does that analogy even make sense? I think it makes no sense, personally. Now "In For the Duration" Guy does want a LTR. You have sex on the 3rd date. You hear from him again.. because he does want a LTR and he likes you. Problem? Not that I can see at all. It's fine to wait, I just don't quite get why, outside of the obvious big 3: pregnancy/STDs/religious views. But these 3 don't seem to be the factor in the OPs question. Link to post Share on other sites
blackmagik Posted March 23, 2011 Share Posted March 23, 2011 I don't get it. Is this an age-related thing? I'm surprised to hear this from non-virgin women over 30... Waiting 6-8 weeks, 2 months, 3 months... what difference does it make after a few dates? From an experienced guy who is almost 30 like myself. If a girl gives it up to me too easy regardless of if I like her or not I will lose interest fast. For the reason that if she gave it to me this easy would she do the same for another guy? That and us guys do LIKE a challenge regardless of if we say it or not. Girls aren't the only ones who love the thrill of the chase. Link to post Share on other sites
TaurusTerp Posted March 23, 2011 Share Posted March 23, 2011 I don't get it. Is this an age-related thing? I'm surprised to hear this from non-virgin women over 30... Waiting 6-8 weeks, 2 months, 3 months... what difference does it make after a few dates? Pregnancy and STDs are very real and serious issues.... I can totally understand waiting because a woman doesn't want to take any risks until she knows the man well enough. But because you're afraid the guy will get "bored"? I don't quite get the reasoning. Say "Hit it and Quit it" Guy only wants sex and not a serious LTR. You have sex on the 3rd date. You never hear from him again. Problem? Not really. You know he doesn't want the same thing. But still... is it a problem? You both had fun, no? Or is sex only a tool to get the guy to commit? You can only enjoy it if it leads to something? You feel used? Why would you feel used if you enjoyed it too? Do you feel your worth depreciates with each new person you have sex with, like a used car with a rising odometer? But does that analogy even make sense? I think it makes no sense, personally. Now "In For the Duration" Guy does want a LTR. You have sex on the 3rd date. You hear from him again.. because he does want a LTR and he likes you. Problem? Not that I can see at all. It's fine to wait, I just don't quite get why, outside of the obvious big 3: pregnancy/STDs/religious views. But these 3 don't seem to be the factor in the OPs question. At least one lady has some sense. Waiting for 2 months when NEITHER of you want to is completely nonsensical. Link to post Share on other sites
Knittress Posted March 23, 2011 Share Posted March 23, 2011 Hm. Maybe this is a personality-difference thing - but my ex and I, both being fairly unpromiscuous romantics, swore up and down that we were going to wait... and we lasted a week. It really doesn't have much to do with 'easy'... I don't get this "I'd get bored with her if she gave it up" talk - if someone didn't appreciate my intelligence or quirky humor and just wanted to grope me, I'm pretty sure I'd notice, and I'D be the bored one... I just can't see this happening to me. Link to post Share on other sites
Eternal Sunshine Posted March 23, 2011 Share Posted March 23, 2011 In my experience, having sex within first few weeks shifts the epmphasis from getting to know each other to a sex fest. I also get attached to unsuitable guys. The dynamic also changes from going out to hanging at each other places. Frankly, I enjoy going out. Link to post Share on other sites
Imajerk17 Posted March 23, 2011 Share Posted March 23, 2011 How old are you? If you were really born in 1974, why do you care about this teenager crap? If he's the kind of guy who respects you less and wants nothing more of you after having sex with you, nothing is lost, and it's probably better you found out after only a few days. And if he's the right guy, and you both want it, why would you possibly wait just to get the approval the internet morality brigade... Haven't you heard guy. Anyone who criticizes ML is a troll. T-R-O-L-L troll. Heaven help this dude AND us if he ever breaks up with her. We'll never hear the end of it. I swear, she's like Lisa Loeb with red hair and even less singing ability. EMO. Link to post Share on other sites
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