EasyHeart Posted March 23, 2011 Share Posted March 23, 2011 I'm just going to screw him next chance I get. I don't think (judging from his behavior) that he's relationship material anyway, so I'll just have fun and what happens happens. Haven't had sex since my last BF (7 months ago), so I need to jump back on the proverbial horse, if nothing else just to prove something to myself. I overthink things way too much (obviously).Oh my gravy, Lemonade is such a slut!!! Link to post Share on other sites
oaks Posted March 23, 2011 Share Posted March 23, 2011 I beg to differ. Books and the written word, such as this FORUM are here to help people. Books that didn't offer good reasonable advice wouldn't make any money at all... therefore waynebrady or tiger20 should never write a book. They could write some sort of dating comedy/satire, perhaps. Link to post Share on other sites
Mr.Cairo Posted March 23, 2011 Share Posted March 23, 2011 (edited) That isn't special enough for me. I want to be special enough for a man to give me the rest of his life, not just an evening. If there isn't a prospect for the man committing to me, I'm not interested. However it takes a while to work out whether there's any potential for commitment, so I hold off on sex until I've established that. The rest of my life? My life expectancy is around 70 years if I'm not mistaken. It's too short to live everything I want to have in my life and too long to spend it with only one person when there are so many intelligent, or creative, or beautiful(or all in one) women on this amazing planet. Honestly, this is what I share with many guys: we want to fall in love. Time after time. Not with the same woman because what makes relationships special is the first kiss. The first exchange of glances, that suspicious thought on another person's mind: 'is there something being born in here?' To write poetry to a woman, the sun's rays burning with passion and devotion - for the time being. Or to simply think of her after meeting her. The uncertainty. The disconnect that comes from the doubt which might exist before the establishment of the attraction/connection between the two individuals. To meet someone else and write and compose, and think, and cry, and laugh, and be heart broken - that is the pure essence of life for me. Lets say that women and men are surprise boxes. Only by opening many boxes can I find myself well, living according to my nature. Isn't the human species charming? We have women and men interested in having fun. Others want to find a lifelong mate, and others want a long term relationship. I could never have sex with a woman who was holding out for 'commitment' because as a human being, I was made to roam the world as a wild beast, never to be tamed by civilization. Despite enjoying the perks of womanly company, if the warmth of intimacy with a woman was only achieved by marring, I would rather be a celibate wolf, just enjoying the marvels of the world. That's why I have so much respect for the women who were responsible for the rights women received and I'm also very thankful for the feminist movement. Three decades ago, most of the guys my age were married, with children, and already paying for a house. Now, I'm enjoying the life that most human human beings never got to enjoy because they were either men strapped to a family hence having to working in the coal mines or being a woman, stuck with a husband she wasn't interested in but capable of providing for her. Women can choose their partners now. Women can support themselves. Women have taken the first step out of the matriarchy and by doing so they've liberated men from these old, useless roles of providers and fathers. To think that my ancestors were married against their will, that they had no saying in who they'd have sex, with whom they had to live their entire lives. For although a specific person is what we love at the moment, the stars will change and I will be captivated by another woman. Why mess it up with legal documentation, or the official namesake of a 'relationship' when there's another(and another man) for me to make the butterflies fly again? Imagine that. 30 years ago a man was already set for life. Change was unheard of. 30 years later a guy in his 20's is free beyond belief. No college debt. No mortgage, no children to raise. No stressful job to worry about. The possibility of another lover, all that is needed for that is for her to be interested in me. The entire world is mine and if a woman can not understand that I was made to be free, from permanent emotional attachments, from materialistic pursuits and from the demanding needs of children: she's not for me. Nothing wrong with that. I just find it slightly amusing when a woman sees potential in me, and tries to hold off any sexual advances. I remember a dinner with a witty young woman who told me that when she finds the guy to be relationship material she doesn't have sex with him for three months. With three months to spend I could be meeting interesting, cultured, or artsy, or party girls looking to share a moment in time with me. For me to waste away three months of my life would be to affront every human being who died too young. I want to live for them. I want to experience for them what they can never experience. I don't make any woman feel bad about this. Sure, every so often one tries to break her standards to hold me, but that'd be wrong of me. I wouldn't want to take advantage of her and I surely wouldn't want to have a dark spot for having gone against my ideals for a mere spark of pleasure. You know what I want? I want to forget love and I want a woman to reawaken that love and to have it die again, only for it to be kissed to live by another woman. I hope that the patriarchy fully dies. I want more and more women to let go of traditional, obsolete and frankly, a self-constructed prison of repression for the longing, the will to experience all of the world's most forbidden fruits. Without feminism, the chances of me being one of those alcoholic business guys, working 24/7 to support a society that cares not for human beings, but stuck in a loveless marriage because I succumbed to my sexual urges and that meant marrying the woman - making both of us miserable. I guess that's one of the reasons why I loved high school and college so much. Women were so much more interested in thrilling encounters, in taking away from me a little piece of my soul. It's rather baffling to see them turn around and now expect something serious out of me. The so called commitment. I didn't share my temple, my body, with just any woman. I chose the woman and I was chosen. That's commitment. Sealing away my life by living with a woman, putting financial expenses on my back, butchering away my youth, and expecting me to me fine with that. I'm sorry, but that just won't do. I'm there for a good time. I'm there as the Lightning in the storm. I'm here, but I am not everlasting like the stars. I just shine brighter and I won't be forgotten. I guess that's one of the reasons I'm only interested in women far younger than me. I've met women in their 30's more attractive than 18 year olds, but that fleeting, mesmerizing sense of freedom that a woman so young provides, is more intoxicating than gold, power, and divinity. I'm sure that there are a vast amount of guys interested in something 'serious'. Women who are interested in white fence and the 2.5 kids should go for them. if everything is black in white, if the man and the woman put the cards on the table and communicate on what they want and don't want from one another, life would be much simpler. That's my method. I'm like this and I like that. A woman is not into that? It was nice to meet the lady, and I find another one more to the likeness of my personality. Everyone's with their equal, everyone's happy. Edited March 23, 2011 by Mr.Cairo Link to post Share on other sites
musemaj11 Posted March 23, 2011 Share Posted March 23, 2011 (edited) You havent gotten lucky in seven months?!? Damn, you must be dying for it. LOL Anyway, three dates within a week are too early and it runs the risk of scaring off the good guys. Wait until about one month and see each other a lot within that time period. If he is a jerk, he will still leave anyway, and if he is a good guy, he wont experience cognitive dissonance and feel that you guys had sex too early. But then again, if you just plan to bang him above all else then do it anytime you want. Edited March 23, 2011 by musemaj11 Link to post Share on other sites
OliveOyl Posted March 24, 2011 Share Posted March 24, 2011 Physical enjoyment of the act itself is not the only benefit of sex for me. I see sex as a tool for intimacy and connection, and I make it clear to guys that I don't do casual sex and look for real relationships. If a guy "tricked" me (which hasn't happened -- knock on wood) into having sex and then wasn't interested for very long after, I'd feel like my trust, my body, and my intimacy had been violated. I'm personally not interested in casual sex... that implies multiple partners for which I don't have time nor interest. I agree with everything here - except the last clause. I just don't understand that part. I can imagine feeling disappointed - yes. Disappointed because I'd hoped for more and there wasn't anymore. Violated? No... what is there to feel violated about? I'm assuming that this sex we are talking about is completely consensual. Are we as women really so fragile that a single act of sex haunts or taints us if there is no continued relationship? I guess it's the implied fragility/vulnerability that I don't get or subscribe to. Link to post Share on other sites
Woggle Posted March 24, 2011 Share Posted March 24, 2011 Sex on the first date does not make a girl slutty. If she is a slut than so am I. I judge women on how they treat men and their attitude. Is a single woman having sex on the first date sluttier than a married woman having sex after a year long emotional affair? I think not. Men need to stop approaching dating like a numbers game and instead look at the character and essence of who a woman actually is. Link to post Share on other sites
Mr.Cairo Posted March 24, 2011 Share Posted March 24, 2011 I'm personally not interested in casual sex... that implies multiple partners for which I don't have time nor interest. I agree with everything here - except the last clause. I just don't understand that part. I can imagine feeling disappointed - yes. Disappointed because I'd hoped for more and there wasn't anymore. Violated? No... what is there to feel violated about? I'm assuming that this sex we are talking about is completely consensual. Are we as women really so fragile that a single act of sex haunts or taints us if there is no continued relationship? I guess it's the implied fragility/vulnerability that I don't get or subscribe to. Women are far stronger than society gives them credit for. Women have been given birth without any medical care for thousands of years. Women have been victims of brute, inhuman men and women have been repressed in relationships and marriages despite the desire, of many of those women, in having fun or simply multi-dating. A person can be three years with someone and have no real relationship. Why is the person in that situation then? Maybe she or him thought it wasn't possible to do better. Maybe there just weren't better prospects at the moment, but to think that one can only feel connected and have real intimacy in a relationship is a bit biased. The most beautiful connections I've ever had in my life were with women I had met recently and never saw again or with women who I had met for a long time but had never gotten myself involved with, before the night I saw how connected we were. Link to post Share on other sites
Macaw Posted March 24, 2011 Share Posted March 24, 2011 I have come on strong and said things like that ("I like you for your mind") and I even truly meant it. The girls in question were all great people. But I still lost interest (and felt really bad about it) if sex was given too quickly. That was not cool on my part but I am being honest with you here. Use as you see fit. I'm intrigued. Why? Do conservative-minded women that follow social dogmas that are 4+ decades old interest you more than modern gals? Maybe it's correlated to individual sexual appetite? Link to post Share on other sites
Ophelia11 Posted March 24, 2011 Share Posted March 24, 2011 I think you should just see how things go and go with it. I have been with my bf for a year now, and we had sex on our first date. I pursued him. I introduced myself to him at the gym and asked if he wanted to go out the next night. All along, I really just wanted to take him home and see what would happen, I was so hot for him. He is about eight years younger than me, I was just getting out of a disastrous ten year marriage (also born in 74). I just wanted to go out and have fun. I guess that this could have went any way...but I knew what I wanted and I didn't think that I had much to lose. I was right. He is one of the best things to happen to me. It has been a year and neither one of us is bored;). Link to post Share on other sites
musemaj11 Posted March 24, 2011 Share Posted March 24, 2011 (edited) I think you should just see how things go and go with it. I have been with my bf for a year now, and we had sex on our first date. I pursued him. I introduced myself to him at the gym and asked if he wanted to go out the next night. All along, I really just wanted to take him home and see what would happen, I was so hot for him. He is about eight years younger than me, I was just getting out of a disastrous ten year marriage (also born in 74). I just wanted to go out and have fun. Something like this can only work if you are a naturally assertive woman that makes a guy see you in admiration rather than sensing desperation. To be realistic, most women dont have it in them to pull this off. Edited March 24, 2011 by musemaj11 Link to post Share on other sites
mizliz Posted March 24, 2011 Share Posted March 24, 2011 Op - there is a time and place for everything. I wouldn't get too hung up on "timelines" or labels, as they are unhelpful and value -laden. You seem mature enough to make a decision about your sexuality on your own. Go with your instincts. The only advice I can offer is to know what you want, and do that. Best of luck! Link to post Share on other sites
zengirl Posted March 24, 2011 Share Posted March 24, 2011 I'm personally not interested in casual sex... that implies multiple partners for which I don't have time nor interest. I agree with everything here - except the last clause. I just don't understand that part. I can imagine feeling disappointed - yes. Disappointed because I'd hoped for more and there wasn't anymore. Violated? No... what is there to feel violated about? I'm assuming that this sex we are talking about is completely consensual. Are we as women really so fragile that a single act of sex haunts or taints us if there is no continued relationship? I guess it's the implied fragility/vulnerability that I don't get or subscribe to. It is not implied fragility to me. I mean, I think all human beings are fragile in the face of deceit, yes. If I were "tricked" into sleeping with someone, of course I'd feel violated. . . that's what a trick feels like. I guess it is because I am very upfront that I don't engage in sex lightly, that I only engage in it within a relationship, and that to me, sex is an act of intimacy and connection between two people who honestly want to try and mutually build something together. So, if someone were to "pretend" that just to get in my pants, I'd feel violated. That's why I mentioned lying. I've had sex with people who I'm not currently dating, obviously. And some of them have been the ones to break things off. But I didn't feel violated by that, because I didn't feel I was used for my sexuality or that I was deceived or that they were disingenuous in saying they agreed with me and wanted to build something together. We tried. We failed. We learned. We moved on to relationships with some knowledge and skills that will hopefully take us farther. But for someone to (to borrow a phrase) "hit it and quit it" with a girl like me, that'd be a violation because I make it very clear I'm not into that and that I view sex as anything but casual. I'm sure I could "get past it" as I've gotten past other lies and violations in my life (we all do) but it is human cruelty, to be certain. Whether something is cruel or not has nothing to do with the other party's ability or strength to endure said cruelty. but to think that one can only feel connected and have real intimacy in a relationship is a bit biased. The most beautiful connections I've ever had in my life were with women I had met recently and never saw again or with women who I had met for a long time but had never gotten myself involved with, before the night I saw how connected we were. To me, that's not intimacy. Everyone has different views, but my view of intimacy is that of partnership, commitment, common direction, and working on things together. Many of my exes are friends in some way and remain connected. Things did not work out, but I sincerely believe they committed themselves (save one ex who was rubberbandy in my youth) and tried and that they never wished for intimacy to be "fleeting." To me, your view seems very shallow. I've never been one who liked "newness" particularly for its own sake, though. There is a depth that comes in knowing someone a long time and in being a relationship (a good one) a long time, even when it does not work. I imagine one that works, one that lasts decades, has even more depth----and that goes with what I've observed. Growing together with another person is intimacy to me. Using another person in a fleeting moment----even if you see it as a "beautiful connection" that inspired you----just doesn't have the same gravitas to me. And, at the very least, I hope we can agree, connection is not possible with any kind of deceit. So there would be no intimacy with someone like me without time and commitment, because that is the kind of connection I enjoy and seek out, and I make that plain. Certainly, there are different types in the world. No worries there --- they just need to keep to themselves honestly and make sure they only engage with people who are on the same page. Link to post Share on other sites
mizliz Posted March 24, 2011 Share Posted March 24, 2011 Everyone's with their equal, everyone's happy. That's the key. Link to post Share on other sites
Mr.Cairo Posted March 24, 2011 Share Posted March 24, 2011 (edited) It is not implied fragility to me. I mean, I think all human beings are fragile in the face of deceit, yes. If I were "tricked" into sleeping with someone, of course I'd feel violated. . . that's what a trick feels like. I guess it is because I am very upfront that I don't engage in sex lightly, that I only engage in it within a relationship, and that to me, sex is an act of intimacy and connection between two people who honestly want to try and mutually build something together. So, if someone were to "pretend" that just to get in my pants, I'd feel violated. That's why I mentioned lying. I've had sex with people who I'm not currently dating, obviously. And some of them have been the ones to break things off. But I didn't feel violated by that, because I didn't feel I was used for my sexuality or that I was deceived or that they were disingenuous in saying they agreed with me and wanted to build something together. We tried. We failed. We learned. We moved on to relationships with some knowledge and skills that will hopefully take us farther. But for someone to (to borrow a phrase) "hit it and quit it" with a girl like me, that'd be a violation because I make it very clear I'm not into that and that I view sex as anything but casual. I'm sure I could "get past it" as I've gotten past other lies and violations in my life (we all do) but it is human cruelty, to be certain. Whether something is cruel or not has nothing to do with the other party's ability or strength to endure said cruelty. To me, that's not intimacy. Everyone has different views, but my view of intimacy is that of partnership, commitment, common direction, and working on things together. Many of my exes are friends in some way and remain connected. Things did not work out, but I sincerely believe they committed themselves (save one ex who was rubberbandy in my youth) and tried and that they never wished for intimacy to be "fleeting." To me, your view seems very shallow. I've never been one who liked "newness" particularly for its own sake, though. There is a depth that comes in knowing someone a long time and in being a relationship (a good one) a long time, even when it does not work. I imagine one that works, one that lasts decades, has even more depth----and that goes with what I've observed. Growing together with another person is intimacy to me. Using another person in a fleeting moment----even if you see it as a "beautiful connection" that inspired you----just doesn't have the same gravitas to me. And, at the very least, I hope we can agree, connection is not possible with any kind of deceit. So there would be no intimacy with someone like me without time and commitment, because that is the kind of connection I enjoy and seek out, and I make that plain. Certainly, there are different types in the world. No worries there --- they just need to keep to themselves honestly and make sure they only engage with people who are on the same page. Oh. You're talking about a business. We have two individuals commited to one another by something that is temporary, such as the fleeting emotions aroused during the love stage, and then we have the legal repercussions of pursuing that commitment, as living together with a woman in pretty much every Country makes the man legally married to her. The several problems coming from relationships can ruin a man's life and a woman's life. We should never mix love with the state. I've heard that in Canada they tried to pass a law that would make a man who spent three dates on the same woman(sex or no sex didn't matter) to be legally married. I don't know. I've always enjoyed financial freedom, having no responsabilities and no negative consequences to my acts. I've always made sure to the highest possible degree that I would not ruin a woman's life by possibly catching a std from another one and infect her with it. I've also gotten the vascectomy procedure so I don't get a woman pregnant and I make sure to make it clear to the woman that I'm not really interested in anything 'serious'. More often than not the lady in question accepts that and we're fine. Reaching common goals? I've reached common goals with short-term liasons. They enjoyed it, I cherished what we had. I'm not interested(nor can I have) children so I really don't need to have a woman in my life like that. I suppose that if I was to have children, I'd probably use the services of a surrogate mother as relationships do have a tendency to go sour and I wouldn't want to see my child once a month so that some other guy could see my kid grow up. I also wouldn't want to lose the houses and the farms I inherited from the family, and I wouldn't want t for my resources and my time to be spent on someone else. See, that's what I find funny. Spending a day with a woman equals to using her. Maybe - and imagine that! - she spent the day with me knowing that there wouldn't be anything else and she was fine with that? Can't a person appreciate someone else's company for a few hours? Do you need to have your friends around you 24/7? Doesn't it feel good to hear from them after being unware for months? Maybe you're implying that by spending decades with a person I'm showing that I'm not using that person. By using that person in what way? Sex? The pill wasn't created to be used as candy, you know. It was created because women wanted sexual freedom. A woman can enjoy casual sex but she's being used by the man she's enjoying sex with if he doesn't put a ring on her finger/doesn't introduce her to his friends as his girlfriend/ doesn't listen to her complains or her problems? This sound a little bit - and don't take it the wrong way - like the extreme feminists who claimed that all penetration is raped but went ahead and got married when there was no need for that. You know, I've met plenty of women and men in relationships. Unhappy relationships. A friend of mine is with her boyfriend for 5 years now because he helps her pay the bills. She's not that into him anymore, but what is she to do? With the state of the economy? How many guys are going to put the money to help her out? I've know guys who were treated badly by their women but sticked to it because of the long time they had spend together already, didn't want to ruin it. I have a cousin who began dating his girlfriend in high school, they broke up, met again 10 years after, reactivated the relationship, stayed together for several years and are already broken up again. I could say that the men who are in relationships are being used for the attention they give to their girlfriends and for their resources. I don't say it. Because it's not an absolute. I can't say that the woman who enjoys casual sex isn't being abused. She might be abused in a particular scenarion. It all varies, but I'd like for more people to see that sexually interaction for the sake of physical pleasure and emotional pleasure is not the dark void that will suck people in and consume their souls. I treasure the fact that decades from now, when the women I've been with are married and with children, that they'll think of me as the guy who made them feel good about themselves, even if for a little time. And If I can make people feel good about themselves, it would be selfish of me to 'spend' it all on only one woman. That and for many other reasons . You are right. People are different and they are going to find different points of view to be strange. That's why people hover around near people with the same values. Me? I prefer younger people because they are living for the moment. They aren't worrying about the future. And what's the future when eternity can be had in one night? Really, I make the woman udnerstand that what we have was worthy of being transformed into a memory. But no, I won't meet her parents, go hunt for matching curtains with her, and all of that. They accept it because they have a more ambivalent mentality and because they enjoy my company. PS: I do know that many women end up being used by a man for their money. Edited March 24, 2011 by Mr.Cairo Link to post Share on other sites
oldguy Posted March 24, 2011 Share Posted March 24, 2011 Good advice; http://www.topdatingtips.com/dating-and-sex.htm , IMO Link to post Share on other sites
zengirl Posted March 24, 2011 Share Posted March 24, 2011 Oh. You're talking about a business. No, I'm really not. We have two individuals commited to one another by something that is temporary, such as the fleeting emotions aroused during the love stage, and then we have the legal repercussions of pursuing that commitment, as living together with a woman in pretty much every Country makes the man legally married to her. Love is not "fleeting." Just certain types of it. Devotion is a type of love, and it is anything but fleeting. Some people find the fleeting versions more 'exciting', but I find those to be rather shallow. The several problems coming from relationships can ruin a man's life and a woman's life. We should never mix love with the state. I'm sure that everything worth having also has had it's problems at various times. That doesn't make it not worth having. I don't know. I've always enjoyed financial freedom, having no responsabilities and no negative consequences to my acts. I've always made sure to the highest possible degree that I would not ruin a woman's life by possibly catching a std from another one and infect her with it. I've also gotten the vascectomy procedure so I don't get a woman pregnant and I make sure to make it clear to the woman that I'm not really interested in anything 'serious'. More often than not the lady in question accepts that and we're fine. I have no issues with anyone else living any way they like, but to me, that sounds vastly immature and superficial. To me, of course. Everyone walks their own path. See, that's what I find funny. Spending a day with a woman equals to using her. Maybe - and imagine that! - she spent the day with me knowing that there wouldn't be anything else and she was fine with that? If she was "in on it" and wanted the same things as you, of course, that's a different story and you're not using her. If you read my posts, you'll see that they discuss deceit for a reason. Can't a person appreciate someone else's company for a few hours? Do you need to have your friends around you 24/7? Doesn't it feel good to hear from them after being unware for months? I speak to my good friends regularly, even if they are on another continent. Once a week or every other week at least. I make it a priority to keep connected to them and cherish our bond, but to me romance is not friendship --- it is a potential precursor (in good time) to love, devotion, a true partnership, and family. Maybe you're implying that by spending decades with a person I'm showing that I'm not using that person. By using that person in what way? Sex? The pill wasn't created to be used as candy, you know. It was created because women wanted sexual freedom. A woman can enjoy casual sex but she's being used by the man she's enjoying sex with if he doesn't put a ring on her finger/doesn't introduce her to his friends as his girlfriend/ doesn't listen to her complains or her problems? Different women want different things. Sexual freedom should not really include the freedom to 'trick' people or lie to them to have sexual encounters they wouldn't really want if they knew the whole truth. I've already said I've no issues with OTHER people having casual sex, if that's what both parties want. I see no value in it, personally. Why are you so ardent that everyone be like you? I would imagine it's because, as you get older, few women are. Actually, few men I know think like this, too. I know many men who want devotion (though of course, everyone still wants some passion too---as do I; to me, one does not kill the other, but they enhance each other; I think it very sad those who like beginnings best who find devotion kills their passion). It all varies, but I'd like for more people to see that sexually interaction for the sake of physical pleasure and emotional pleasure is not the dark void that will suck people in and consume their souls. I just think it's shallow, unsatisfying, and boring. Not soul-consuming. Really, I make the woman udnerstand that what we have was worthy of being transformed into a memory. But no, I won't meet her parents, go hunt for matching curtains with her, and all of that. They accept it because they have a more ambivalent mentality and because they enjoy my company. If you're honest about it, that's fine. But many women would not bother with you then, and that's for the best for them. As I said, there are different types. This whole "transformed into a memory" sounds like crap to me. You can romanticize casual sex all you like. I still find it the McDonalds of sex. It's cheap and easy and crap. Link to post Share on other sites
Author makelemonade1974 Posted March 24, 2011 Author Share Posted March 24, 2011 @Easy heart - yes, being a slut is the way to go I think. Sluts have all the fun. @Cairo - your post is way too long, but I agree with you that Eeyore's "rest of your life" statement is only a set-up for disappointment. Humans live a long time. My grandmother just turned 96. muse - I totally am. Link to post Share on other sites
oldguy Posted March 24, 2011 Share Posted March 24, 2011 http://www.topdatingtips.com/dating-and-sex.htm Link to post Share on other sites
oaks Posted March 24, 2011 Share Posted March 24, 2011 @Easy heart - yes, being a slut is the way to go I think. Sluts have all the fun. Excellent. I'm looking forward to an update. Link to post Share on other sites
sally4sara Posted March 24, 2011 Share Posted March 24, 2011 The idea that a woman's greatest gift is her body is one of the more repugnant philosophies women labor under. Believe it and find a woman who is fine with the idea that that is the best she can offer. Don't believe it and find one of the more evolved and capable women. Take on the world together. Some oldguys have a daddy complex. Link to post Share on other sites
EasyHeart Posted March 24, 2011 Share Posted March 24, 2011 @Easy heart - yes, being a slut is the way to go I think. Sluts have all the fun.We certainly do!!! Link to post Share on other sites
chocolate_boy Posted March 24, 2011 Share Posted March 24, 2011 Dunno if I'm just pimpin (lol, nooo) or what but pretty much all my exes "put out" on the first date or two, never lost any respect for them, maybe my first date idea of always having some booze with them helps that along, dunno. But they always say "I don't usually do it on the first date", it doesn't bother me at all though, no respect lost, we both had fun, so what? Link to post Share on other sites
Eeyore79 Posted March 24, 2011 Share Posted March 24, 2011 Different women want different things. Sexual freedom should not really include the freedom to 'trick' people or lie to them to have sexual encounters they wouldn't really want if they knew the whole truth. I've already said I've no issues with OTHER people having casual sex, if that's what both parties want. I see no value in it, personally. I agree wholeheartedly with this. People are all different, and everyone should have the right to do as they wish, as long as they aren't deceiving others to get what they want. If some people want to have sex with no strings attached, that's entirely up to them, but I always make it clear that I want a lasting relationship, and that I feel sex is something special which I only want to do within the context of a relationship. If I knew that a man had no intention of having a relationship with me, I'd decline to have sex with him, so it's deceitful and wrong if he lies to me and pretends to want a relationship just so I'll have sex with him. Unfortunately some men are deceitful, and on a few occasions men have lied to me to get what they wanted. I did not consent to sex outright - I only consented on certain terms (i.e. on the basis that we were having a relationship), and because he didn't uphold those terms then strictly speaking I didn't consent to sex. It made me feel hurt, used and violated, and it made me distrust my own judgement, because I'm clearly incapable of telling when a man is lying to me. That's why I now hold back on sex for a few months, because I need some way of filtering out the honest men from the liars. Link to post Share on other sites
betterdeal Posted March 24, 2011 Share Posted March 24, 2011 But they always say "I don't usually do it on the first date" Yeah, that's a funny one, isn't it? I find it endearing even if it is a bit like a fatty buying a supersized meal and opting for Diet Coke. I remember a good friend of mine being chatted up by some guy when some other guy she'd had sex with came over and said "You're a slut". She said "yes?" and looked quizzically at him. Link to post Share on other sites
Mr.Cairo Posted March 24, 2011 Share Posted March 24, 2011 The idea that a woman's greatest gift is her body is one of the more repugnant philosophies women labor under. Believe it and find a woman who is fine with the idea that that is the best she can offer. Don't believe it and find one of the more evolved and capable women. Take on the world together. Some oldguys have a daddy complex. I agree with this. There are plenty of guys going for the more attractive of women(sometimes getting shot down, sometimes not) thinking that the woman is guaranteed to be a positive presence despite not knowing her at all. Then we see them complaining that all women are the same, that they are cheating on them with their best friends etc. Only if more women and men developed their emotional independence to the point of not getting attached to someone, life would be so much less complicated. If only more people knew how satisfying connecting with someone is, without adding responsibilities to it, life would be perfect for more people. Link to post Share on other sites
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