mogul Posted March 27, 2011 Share Posted March 27, 2011 I usually get sex within the first two dates. Anything longer than that and I lose interest. A girl is insane if she expects to hold out for 2-3 months imo. Guys have options as well. Link to post Share on other sites
Graviton Posted March 27, 2011 Share Posted March 27, 2011 (edited) I usually get sex within the first two dates. Anything longer than that and I lose interest. A girl is insane if she expects to hold out for 2-3 months imo. Guys have options as well. I don't understand why guys like you don't just hire an escort. Oh wait, that costs more than one or two dates. Edited March 27, 2011 by Graviton Link to post Share on other sites
sally4sara Posted March 27, 2011 Share Posted March 27, 2011 That's a lot of guys in a very short period of time. If I would find out that my date had sex with another guy one day before we went on the date, she would never see me again. I just don't take sh*t like that. Seems no different to me than a guy wanking to web cam porn the day before a first date. But make whatever molehills into whatever mountains you like. Its how the world goes round. Link to post Share on other sites
Nexus One Posted March 27, 2011 Share Posted March 27, 2011 (edited) But make whatever molehills into whatever mountains you like. Its how the world goes round. Yeah play that game. Edited March 27, 2011 by Nexus One Link to post Share on other sites
jane100 Posted March 27, 2011 Share Posted March 27, 2011 The more I think about it the more I think this is a spurious question (When to have sex?) hiding something else. It mainly applies to people new back into the dating scene or very young people. When people are genuinely mature, have a strong sense of themselves i.e. who they are and strong interest in the other person, developing true feelings and have a sense of trust and fun, things tend to happen both naturally and with insight, no? Maybe its different if you are young, a guy with your sexual hormones are all over the place. But I still think what I said stands true, maybe even then ... Link to post Share on other sites
jane100 Posted March 27, 2011 Share Posted March 27, 2011 . If I would find out that my date had sex with another guy one day before we went on the date, she would never see me again. I just don't take sh*t like that. I like a man with high moral standards. Sexy! Link to post Share on other sites
zengirl Posted March 27, 2011 Share Posted March 27, 2011 Seems no different to me than a guy wanking to web cam porn the day before a first date. But make whatever molehills into whatever mountains you like. Its how the world goes round. I can see the difference. I think we should compare apples to apples. If a man had sex with someone else the day before our first date, and I found out, I don't think I'd continue seeing him either. (This would include if he had phone sex, or Skype sex with an actual person, or if he called a services for phone or webcam sex. But not if he just looked at some porn.) Link to post Share on other sites
Fleur de Lis Posted March 27, 2011 Share Posted March 27, 2011 Makelemonade1974, There is no time that you should wait in order to make love to someone. When the time is right, go for it. Intentional deprivation to control another person's perception of you is simply manipulation. The 1st duty of a lover is love the other person (even if it is just for that one night), otherwise they are just a f***er. If the moment is right to make love to someone it does not matter if it is on the 1st date or the 40th date. Its about the moment, the feelings, the passion, the tenderness, etc. As long as both you and your partner are on the same page in terms of respecting one another and in terms of honesty of what the significance of having sex with each other is, why would it matter what date that falls on? If someone decides to categorize you as a "slut" for sharing the highest form of prayer with them, that is their problem and not yours. You are the person that gets to define who you are, they don't. Link to post Share on other sites
mogul Posted March 27, 2011 Share Posted March 27, 2011 I don't understand why guys like you don't just hire an escort. Oh wait, that costs more than one or two dates. Its not about the costs. I would feel wrong and dirty about it. Also, that isn't fun. Just like going to a strip club isn't fun for me, its a tease. I would rather go clubbing, meet someone and pursue it from start to finish. I like meeting normal, well off girls rather than a "working girl". Link to post Share on other sites
sally4sara Posted March 28, 2011 Share Posted March 28, 2011 I can see the difference. I think we should compare apples to apples. If a man had sex with someone else the day before our first date, and I found out, I don't think I'd continue seeing him either. (This would include if he had phone sex, or Skype sex with an actual person, or if he called a services for phone or webcam sex. But not if he just looked at some porn.) To me, "cyber sex" is a way to dehumanize someone. You don't have to deal with their needs in the moment or really focus on the person they are at all. So same deal as when watching porn. No physical contact, no real contact at all. How is that any different than a guy wanking to a live web cam girl? Oh wait - the girl on the cam is beneath him - I forgot. Link to post Share on other sites
zengirl Posted March 28, 2011 Share Posted March 28, 2011 To me, "cyber sex" is a way to dehumanize someone. You don't have to deal with their needs in the moment or really focus on the person they are at all. So same deal as when watching porn. No physical contact, no real contact at all. How is that any different than a guy wanking to a live web cam girl? Oh wait - the girl on the cam is beneath him - I forgot. I don't really know how webcam porn works. . . However, I would say looking at porn is different than having sex because it is a one-way fantasy. How is watching a porno all that different from imagining one in your mind? I don't know. At any rate, sleeping with a person (or even having cyber sex with a person who is engaged with you in it -- I guess people dirty Skype with exes and the like) and watching some form of porn are to me, very different things. Whether porn is dehumanizing. . . I don't know. To me, it's fiction. It's like asking whether a movie is dehumanizing. The person becomes just an idea (a character, etc), so I guess it theoretically is, but not for some malevolent purpose, just because we have developed ways of recording and transmitting stories. Link to post Share on other sites
sally4sara Posted March 28, 2011 Share Posted March 28, 2011 I don't really know how webcam porn works. . . However, I would say looking at porn is different than having sex because it is a one-way fantasy. How is watching a porno all that different from imagining one in your mind? I don't know. At any rate, sleeping with a person (or even having cyber sex with a person who is engaged with you in it -- I guess people dirty Skype with exes and the like) and watching some form of porn are to me, very different things. Whether porn is dehumanizing. . . I don't know. To me, it's fiction. It's like asking whether a movie is dehumanizing. The person becomes just an idea (a character, etc), so I guess it theoretically is, but not for some malevolent purpose, just because we have developed ways of recording and transmitting stories. Web cam girl and some dude VS The OP cyber sexing the ex. The difference is dude watching web cam girl can write her off. The only difference with what the OP did was she knew the guy she was web sexing. So because she knows who she is doing it with its somehow WORSE? It seems its always worse when the girl is doing it and not a guy. That's the point I'm making here. The acts involved are the exact same. I was hoping at least for the guys who were all riled up about it to say "well I don't wank to web cam girls because it IS sex". But no. So as far as I can tell its a big deal because the OP is female and she knew who the guy was. Yes, so much better for it to be a complete stranger you're "having sex" with. Link to post Share on other sites
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