Nobdynds2kno Posted March 22, 2011 Share Posted March 22, 2011 Hello. I need some advice. I have a situation that I am clueless as to where to go concerning it. Here is the story... There is a 16 year old girl that I know. She lives with her mother and father. She is going down the wrong path, and they are not doing anything about it. The parents are either stupid, lazy, or real dumb. The 16 year old girl is having sex. She is smoking pot, in their house. They actually are told 'Blah-blah is coming over to bring me pot, send him in my room' the parents are sending them in her room. The parents smoke pot with her. She does not go to school. She cuts herself. This is where the situation really bothers me. Over the last 9 months she has lost 100+ pounds. Since the begining, I have had my suspicionsn as to how she is doing this. Turns out i have been informed from a friend of the parents that she IS throwing up. Her mother knows this, and encourages her along the way. Also, she is allowed to have many boys over at her house, and also spent a weekend at this new boys house she just met. After she came home from the boys house she claimed he had had sex with her, and she was not willingful. She cut her arms up real bad after that weekend. Then, this past weekend she went to his house again (her mother drove her there) at 5 am in the morning she showed up at her uncles house (about ten-15 mins from the bfs house) saying she wanted her mother to pick her up. Her mother picked her up. I talked to her the next day, and she told me that she had bruises all over her. He had hit her. I saw pictures of the bruises. She then proceded to tell me that he anally raped her. When her mother heard her telling me, she grabbed the phone and said 'Well, she wont be going over there again!' The mother does NOT hit her, and is not abusive. But I am starting to get concerned for the girls health. I feel that her mother NOT going to the police is showing the daughter that it is OKAY for guys to do this. SHould I step in and contact somebody? if so, who? Please, any advice. Thank you. Link to post Share on other sites
Eve Posted March 23, 2011 Share Posted March 23, 2011 Please be careful OP that you do not end up being misused by this family. Try and make sure someone else is with you when you are with this girl. Allegations can stick - the Mum sounds sick. I would phone Social Care with my concerns. They may try to get out of acting because she is 16 - but they should still have a core responsibility up until the age of 18 to intervene. If nothing is done NOW, I fear that this girl may not get help unless she ends up within the prison system. Does she have a learning disability? Write down the key concerns. Wherever possible, specify dates, times, emotional states and key things said by the Mum and girl. Please call today. You are right to be concerned. What you have said here is a cause for concern. Take care, Eve x Link to post Share on other sites
Eddie Edirol Posted March 23, 2011 Share Posted March 23, 2011 I would say dont step in unless you are planning to gain the girls trust so you can advise her and she will listen. she could be going through a phase, maybe not. But if you call social services, the girl will only rebel against everyone, it will possibly tear up the family, and will cause her to be more depressed. Right now the girl probably did all of those things to impress a boy. if you can convince her that isnt what love is, she will probably come around. You can tell her all about how high school boys SHOULD treat her and what they will do, with the knowledge from this forum. the child protective services counselors will not do this properly. They dont have dating knowledge, and even if they did, they probably wont help her in that regard. Link to post Share on other sites
Eve Posted March 23, 2011 Share Posted March 23, 2011 Eddie, the girl is saying she has been raped, has an eating disorder, uses weed, is being beaten by boys - whom her mother willingly takes her to the homes off, self harms and has no support. I may have missed some things there too. It is not about the OP gaining her trust. The family need investigating. Take care, Eve x Link to post Share on other sites
Eddie Edirol Posted March 23, 2011 Share Posted March 23, 2011 Eddie, the girl is saying she has been raped, has an eating disorder, uses weed, is being beaten by boys - whom her mother willingly takes her to the homes off, self harms and has no support. I may have missed some things there too. It is not about the OP gaining her trust. The family need investigating. Take care, Eve x Ive seen all that, but the bottom line is that child services isnt going to give the girl any better guidance than her parents. her mother gave up of course, or may be a weedhead, but nothing is going to change the girls behavior except some serious guidance. Link to post Share on other sites
Eve Posted March 24, 2011 Share Posted March 24, 2011 Ive seen all that, but the bottom line is that child services isnt going to give the girl any better guidance than her parents. her mother gave up of course, or may be a weedhead, but nothing is going to change the girls behavior except some serious guidance. What? Ok, Social Care here in the UK has it's problems but everyone knows that anything to do with rape especially, then it's a straight forward matter of calling them or the Police. What is your advice based on please? Guidance? It is NEVER the fault of the person who has been raped. This girl sounds almost feral - hence my warning to the OP. She may not know what love and affection are and add him into these bizarre stories. Her Mum sounds like she is the observable reason for these behaviours but there will be more to it, no doubt. Nah, I say call Social Care or the Police. Take care, Eve x Link to post Share on other sites
diamonds2443 Posted March 31, 2011 Share Posted March 31, 2011 You can call child protective services and not leave a name. Nobody will ever have to know you called. I think you should def. Tell someone because it sounds like she could really hurt herself and you might save her life. Also, im sure she needs help coping with the rapes before it damages her any further. Trust me you are doing the right thing. 1-877-nj-abuse Link to post Share on other sites
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