n2000 Posted March 23, 2011 Share Posted March 23, 2011 I've been flirting with one of my friends for months and recently he told me he likes me and i'm girlfriend material (another time he said he doesn't have any serious feeling for me!),and because he has some problems he can not be committed to me or anyone else,and because we are friend he doesn't want to break my heart, but he asked me indirectly if i want to sleep with him or be a friend with benefits!if he just like me, why he asked me to sleep with him, shouldn't sex be an act that you do with someone you care? if he cares about me and does not want to break my heart why he wants to sleep with me, even when he knows that I like him, or when I rejected him once he asked me again ?does he have any real felling for me, or he just want to use me for sex?:eek: Link to post Share on other sites
ShatteredReality Posted March 23, 2011 Share Posted March 23, 2011 If he says he wants a friend with benefits he wants to be able to sleep with you without the commitment of having to be your boyfriend. He wants to be able to walk away whenever he wants and just say "But you knew the arrangement - you should not have developed those feelings for me! I told you I didn't want to hurt you!" As if you can control your feelings going into these types of things. If it were me I would say "I cannot help the feelings that I have. If we start sleeping together I know me - I will want to be your girlfriend....I will want a relationship. So if you want to keep our friendship in tact we can't do that. If you want me to be your girlfriend then ask me". I am not a fan of giving someone that "out" of being able to say it's my own fault I got hurt. I may know the risks going into something, and after the fact I may tell myself that it's my own fault...but I certainly don't want them to justify it away like that and move on to do the same to someone else after having gotten away with it with me! Link to post Share on other sites
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