does he drink too much?

[star]

i am having a hard time with thinking about my b'f. i have been in seveal relationships that have been with alcoholics, alot of them abused me. it was always the classic "but i love him" scenario. since 1995 i have not been or stayed with a guy who drinks. however, my current guys drink and i am having a hard time deciding how handle it. he don't abuse it at all, just when we go out to eat or an activity that serves beer, he will have one or two. this may be 1-4 times a week tho. where ever we go, he has to have a cold beer but because he only has a couple i don't know if this is good or bad. i get mad at him tho every single time. i will let up if i think this is not an issue to worry about. it has been this waay for the couple years we have been together. i try to tell myself to lighten up on him, he is not hurting anything, especially me, well maybe he is hurting my control, but i need to change my way of thinking to give this guy a break, don't i? any suggestions? i hate being so controling and run his life like that. help, please.

[Paulie]

On the surface, I would say that you are over-reacting. Drinking a few beers a four or five times a week is certainly not excessive by most standards. However, if the drinking is causing problems (if his behavior changes for the worse) on a consistent basis, then I think there might be a problem. Maybe he just likes to have a couple. If he doesn't have dramatic mood swings when he drinks, then yes, I definitely say loosen up, join him in having a couple-you might enjoy it.

[Nina]

when we began dating, my fiancee drank heavily. Almost every night, he would get drunk and since I don't drink, I would have to deal with the consequences.

 

It took a few months, but we talked about it and I felt that it was not only bad for our relationship, it was bad for him. He agreed, but he likes the taste of beer. I said, you can have up to but never over 3 beers a night. At first, he drank exactly 3 beers. Now, he only drinks one or two a few times a week. Don't worry about your boyfriend drinking one or two beers when you're out to dinner.

 

Two beers won't get him drunk unless he's about 100 lbs.

[star]

thank you for the input. if your boyfriend likes the taste of beer, which is what my b'f said is why he likes to drink. so now he drinks near beer all through the week. thanks for the help tho, i'm going to try to keep my mouth shut when he does order a beer and or two. anyways if it makes him feel better about me, not being a nag, then i guess it is worth it. thanx.......

when we began dating, my fiancee drank heavily. Almost every night, he would get drunk and since I don't drink, I would have to deal with the consequences.

 

It took a few months, but we talked about it and I felt that it was not only bad for our relationship, it was bad for him. He agreed, but he likes the taste of beer. I said, you can have up to but never over 3 beers a night. At first, he drank exactly 3 beers. Now, he only drinks one or two a few times a week. Don't worry about your boyfriend drinking one or two beers when you're out to dinner. Two beers won't get him drunk unless he's about 100 lbs.