PlumPudding Posted March 23, 2011 Share Posted March 23, 2011 I need some impartial advice . . . So I'm a 20-yr-old girl in college, and I've had it figured out for a while that my dream is to go to California for grad school then move to England. I've also thought for a while that I don't need and don't really want a boyfriend because I'm worried I might prioritize my dreams less . . . But I met this guy who I'm starting to like, and he's so likable and cute and is starting to be one of my very good friends. He's asked me on a date, and I was caught off guard (I've only been on one other date in my life) so I said yes, and I really enjoy his company. He keeps hinting that he really likes me, but I'm not sure what to do! I really like him, and he wants to be my boyfriend, but I don't know if . . . if I really want a boyfriend . . ? What should I do? I really don't want to hurt him and I love being with him and I like him quite a lot but I'm just at a loss . . . Any advice? Link to post Share on other sites
EyesWideOpen Posted March 23, 2011 Share Posted March 23, 2011 (edited) You're young, (presumably) in college, and still at least a couple years out from moving to California for graduate school...yes? Being boyfriend/girlfriend is not a lifetime commitment. Especially given your age and circumstances, you should feel free to date guys you meet and hold an interest in. Enjoy the freedom of youth and college! You never know how it'll play out. Maybe the romance will end when you graduate (if not before), maybe he'll adopt your dreams and tag along, or maybe your worst fears will be realized and your dreams change. That's not necessarily all that bad. It would just means that you found a new, better dream that involves having him in your life...which is something you will encounter in any relationship. Part of relationships are building your dreams together - regardless of where you are in life or what your personal goals may be. But that is all soooo far in the future that there's no point in worrying about it right now. Besides, to be bluntly honest, most people find that they really didn't know what they really want at 20 years old. (despite their confidence at the time that they did) This is because experience is a hell of a teacher. Personally, what I thought I wanted at 20 and what I found I wanted by age 28 were two completely different things. If I pursued my 20 year old dreams, I'd be miserable right now. Just go with it. You wind up walking the path you're supposed to, and you never really know what that path will be despite all the best planning. Edited March 23, 2011 by EyesWideOpen Link to post Share on other sites
WTRanger Posted March 23, 2011 Share Posted March 23, 2011 Go for it and enjoy the present. If you two hit it off really well, then you can start to think about planning a future together. But, for the moment, stay in the now. Take it from me, someone who prioritized work over relationships during my early 20's, don't put so much into it. I now realize that if I just re-adjust slightly, I can achieve the same success in work with another person at my side and really have the best of both worlds. Link to post Share on other sites
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