guilty but ex is saving my marriage!

[TMCM]

UPDATE: Over the weekend i did make it out to OMs place but never saw him or contacted him. i left.

 

TMCM: i did read through that thread. i can relate. sometimes when i'm with H all i can think of is OM even though we dont see eachother very much.

 

Whammy: ouch! perhaps H doesn't really know me. ive never felt comfortable opening up to him. weve been too busy fighting all these years. but this isnt an H or OM situation.

 

at this point, many thoughts are going through my head. when OM is not in my life i feel depressed with just H. leaving H is an option im giving serious consideration. we shouldve never gotten married. maybe some people just aren't meant for marriage (myself). im going to speak to H about taking time apart.

 

I'm getting conflicting messages from you regarding the importance (or lack of) of the OM in your life. On one hand you acknowledge that even if you divorced your H that you and the OM could not even have a simple friendship, and that what you do have is nothing more than a sexually physical relationship. But, you also state that when you are with your H that the OM is always on your mind. Has it occurred to you that the reason why you have been unsuccessful in ending all contact with the OM happens to be that you do in fact have strong feelings for the OM. Seldom do women have sex with men with no emotional investment involved and even in when they do, what starts as a simple PA many times ends up becoming a full blown affair. It's not the sex in and of itself that is important, but what goes into it that differentiates making love from simple fornication. IF what you've had with the OM is making love, and with your husband the other, then it comes as no surprise as to why you are still addicted to the OM. Remember that making love is the most intimate and intense activity between a man and woman so don't dismiss its importance so lightly. Your thread title itself "guilty but ex is saving my marriage", along with your posts regarding the nature of your relationship with the OM, shows that your marital problems could be related to sexual intimacy with your H which have been alleviated in part by the OM.

 

But even if you finally purge your desire for the OM, it is going to be very hard to resolve your marital issues with only one spouse having all the facts.

[Happy Finally]

I'm here because I desperately need advice.

 

I've been married for 8 years. Our marriage has always had problems but the past 2 years have been very rocky. This past summer we were fighting daily, terrible fights. Our marriage was almost surely over. The stress and constant fighting were unbearable.

 

At this time, I reconnected with an old boyfriend. he was the last serious guy I dated before meeting my husband. To get straight to it, we've been having an affair ever since.

 

Here is where things get very confusing for me. My marriage has never been better! Ever since I started seeing the OM my husband and I hardly ever fight. The OM is helping my marriage! And hubby and I are even trying to have a baby now.

 

My dilemma is my husband would leave me in a second if he knew I was cheating. And now I really like the place we're in. But eveytime I've tried to leave OM, and I have at least 4 times, I fall into depression.

 

I don't want to lose my husband.

 

Go to the OW/OM forum...you will find less scorn there. Some of the posters in this forum spit venom because they have been the one's cheated on. Others feel that life is cut and dry and there is no deviation. Go to the other forum, you will have a better chance of not being judged there.

[TMCM]

Go to the OW/OM forum...you will find less scorn there. Some of the posters in this forum spit venom because they have been the one's cheated on. Others feel that life is cut and dry and there is no deviation. Go to the other forum, you will have a better chance of not being judged there.

 

Granted that this forum can get quite ascerbic at times to WS involved in an affair, but most of the people here mean well and their goal is to try to shake some sense into the heads of the most foggiest thinking WS.

 

Sometimes we all need a good 2x4 whack to help us wake up.

[bentnotbroken]

Go to the OW/OM forum...you will find less scorn there. Some of the posters in this forum spit venom because they have been the one's cheated on. Others feel that life is cut and dry and there is no deviation. Go to the other forum, you will have a better chance of not being judged there.

 

:lmao::lmao:We are all judged were ever we go by our actions. IF you don't think so..go in a public place and pull your pants down. Then ask the those who viewed your actions what they think of your actions. :lmao::lmao:Psst. The same people can post in the OW/OM forum too. :DGotta love it!

[WorldIsYours]

:lmao::lmao:We are all judged were ever we go by our actions. IF you don't think so..go in a public place and pull your pants down. Then ask the those who viewed your actions what they think of your actions. :lmao::lmao:Psst. The same people can post in the OW/OM forum too. :DGotta love it!

 

Exactly. It's not going to make a difference where she goes. And this is a public website.

[Memphis Raines]

Go to the OW/OM forum...you will find less scorn there. Some of the posters in this forum spit venom because they have been the one's cheated on. Others feel that life is cut and dry and there is no deviation. Go to the other forum, you will have a better chance of not being judged there.

 

In case you haven't followed her story, Happy, she is cheating, thinks its good for her marriage, doesn't really want to leave other man wondering why she can't have both because she is of the mindset, "what he don't know won't hurt him", and on top of that, she is thinking about getting into another affair to get away from the current one.

 

So yes, based on all that I just laid out, you are right she should go to the OW/OM forum where that kind of behavior is tolerated and in most cases coddled.