xxoo Posted March 29, 2011 Share Posted March 29, 2011 Plus sleeping with a man that is on his way out the door would cause me to feel used. Isn't that something the OP's wife can/should decide for herself? He's been straightforward about his intentions. If his wife still wants to have sex with her husband, that is her choice to make. She may take great comfort in the sex at this stressful time. Link to post Share on other sites
dreamingoftigers Posted March 29, 2011 Share Posted March 29, 2011 Isn't that something the OP's wife can/should decide for herself? He's been straightforward about his intentions. If his wife still wants to have sex with her husband, that is her choice to make. She may take great comfort in the sex at this stressful time. From what was said "don't get your hopes up" I didn't see it as point-blank. That's all. They can do whatever the heck they want, I just ascribe to a different standard for certain reasons. I was just sharing mine. Link to post Share on other sites
FryFish Posted March 29, 2011 Share Posted March 29, 2011 Plus sleeping with a man that is on his way out the door would cause me to feel used. So... Who cares if his CHEATING wife feels used? While he is forced to suffer her presence, the presence of an ultimate betrayer, he may as well make USE of her. Link to post Share on other sites
dreamingoftigers Posted March 29, 2011 Share Posted March 29, 2011 So... Who cares if his CHEATING wife feels used? While he is forced to suffer her presence, the presence of an ultimate betrayer, he may as well make USE of her. I don't use other people's actions as a justification to do something beneath my own dignity. Link to post Share on other sites
SummersEve Posted March 29, 2011 Share Posted March 29, 2011 I'm sorry, Notspoken. That just totally sucks, there's no other way to put it. I hope you find yourself in a better place soon. Link to post Share on other sites
tami-chan Posted March 29, 2011 Share Posted March 29, 2011 So... Who cares if his CHEATING wife feels used? While he is forced to suffer her presence, the presence of an ultimate betrayer, he may as well make USE of her. Not sure who cares...but it's interesting that a man of integrity like Notspoken would have sex with someone he finds "disgusting" (his words, not mine), don't you think? It seems to me that this is one of those times that personal parameters get blurred and lines are crossed at the expense of your integrity/morals , etc. Still I hope he gets to move on soon....good luck!!! Link to post Share on other sites
tami-chan Posted March 29, 2011 Share Posted March 29, 2011 I don't use other people's actions as a justification to do something beneath my own dignity. Like....:bunny:! That takes maturity and strength of character....one day I will get there...! Thanks, dot! Link to post Share on other sites
NoIDidn't Posted March 29, 2011 Share Posted March 29, 2011 For what it is worth, I agree with you DreamingofTigers. I would not have sex with a man that told me he wants out either. And if I tried, it would be to get him to desire me again. Nothing worst than feeling used. Unfortunately, the OP likely knows that feeling as well. I wish him luck and hope he doesn't become an angry bitter man that continues to take that hurt out on other women (the rough sex thing, not my cup of tea). I can't imagine my H referring to sex with me solely as an itch to scratch and nothing more. Even if I hurt him, two wrongs and all... Link to post Share on other sites
WorldIsYours Posted March 29, 2011 Share Posted March 29, 2011 And if I tried' date=' it would be to get him to desire me again.[/quote'] You talk about him "using" his own wife when this a use right here. This is probably what she thought was going to happen if he had sex with her. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Notspoken Posted March 29, 2011 Author Share Posted March 29, 2011 (sighs) Dreaming yes I'm leaving and still screwed her and I hear your disapproval, along with a few others. But this debate about it is getting old. I will continue to move forward as planned. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Notspoken Posted March 29, 2011 Author Share Posted March 29, 2011 Not sure who cares...but it's interesting that a man of integrity like Notspoken would have sex with someone he finds "disgusting" (his words, not mine), don't you think? It seems to me that this is one of those times that personal parameters get blurred and lines are crossed at the expense of your integrity/morals , etc. Still I hope he gets to move on soon....good luck!!! Forgot to respond to this. You know your post actually touched on something. I do think sometimes I probably crossed a line morally or my personal parameter got blurred, but I accept it as it is because I now know that leaving will be the best solution for me and my daughter. Link to post Share on other sites
dreamingoftigers Posted March 29, 2011 Share Posted March 29, 2011 (sighs) Dreaming yes I'm leaving and still screwed her and I hear your disapproval, along with a few others. But this debate about it is getting old. I will continue to move forward as planned. Good, you can let all of the others who keep dragging it up know too. Perhaps they can correct the slanderous accusation as well. I already made 'my peace' with it a long time ago, about ten seconds after my second post. Good for you for picking a direction and moving on it instead of staying in a stagnant, depressing marriage. You have my support (not that you were waiting around for it). Link to post Share on other sites
WorldIsYours Posted March 29, 2011 Share Posted March 29, 2011 Good, you can let all of the others who keep dragging it up know too. Perhaps they can correct the slanderous accusation as well. Okay but you're the main one who keeps bringing it up. Let him do what he needs to do. Link to post Share on other sites
dreamingoftigers Posted March 29, 2011 Share Posted March 29, 2011 Okay but you're the main one who keeps bringing it up. Let him do what he needs to do. I've been quoted by 5 separate people, the only responses I have provided were the ones where they used my quotes! I even tried to put it to bed and was still quoted! You may wish to check your facts before you go spouting off, especially when you wish to publicly slander my character. Link to post Share on other sites
dreamingoftigers Posted March 29, 2011 Share Posted March 29, 2011 Anyways, It would seem that any contribution that I may be able to make to this thread may be coloured by my previously stated opinion, which has received mixed reviews. (Honestly I have no idea why it even became such a big deal, it just seemed like a footnote to me). So I am going to back out of the thread to herein end the debate, or at least my 'part' in it. WorldIsYours, I respect your anti-infidelity stance as I too am anti-infidelity. That being said, I truly resent you labelling me as a cheater, as I never have. Chrissakes I don't even flirt. Get your facts straight before calling someone that! It is upsetting and hurtful even though it isn't true. Feel free to review my threads. Just to end off, good luck to you OP. Sorry you went through a miserable circumstance, I hope that life gets happier and your kids have a great childhood nonetheless. Link to post Share on other sites
WorldIsYours Posted March 29, 2011 Share Posted March 29, 2011 I've been quoted by 5 separate people, the only responses I have provided were the ones where they used my quotes! I even tried to put it to bed and was still quoted! Yet you kept bringing it back up. You may wish to check your facts before you go spouting off, especially when you wish to publicly slander my character. I have the facts and no one is slandering your character. Link to post Share on other sites
WorldIsYours Posted March 29, 2011 Share Posted March 29, 2011 WorldIsYours, I respect your anti-infidelity stance as I too am anti-infidelity. That being said, I truly resent you labelling me as a cheater, as I never have. Chrissakes I don't even flirt. Get your facts straight before calling someone that! It is upsetting and hurtful even though it isn't true. Feel free to review my threads. I won't post it here, but I've read your threads so you know exactly what I'm talking about. Link to post Share on other sites
yessy21 Posted March 29, 2011 Share Posted March 29, 2011 well.... she knew what she was doing so i dont understand why she would just cry. she made a mistake and now she has to pay for it. Link to post Share on other sites
FryFish Posted March 30, 2011 Share Posted March 30, 2011 I won't post it here, but I've read your threads so you know exactly what I'm talking about. To my knowledge DoT is a BS... Not a WS... You are confused WiY... Link to post Share on other sites
Lorelei_Lane Posted March 30, 2011 Share Posted March 30, 2011 To my knowledge DoT is a BS... Not a WS... You are confused WiY... Exactly... which is what I posted much earlier in the thread. For some reason WiY is convinced DoT is a cheater... everything I've read from her tells me she's married to a man that doesn't deserve someone as awesome as she is... She's put up with a lot of her husband's crap, she definitely doesn't need it on this board too. Instead of WiY just saying "you know what I'm talking about" why doesn't he show what he's talking about? *sigh* Link to post Share on other sites
Author Notspoken Posted March 30, 2011 Author Share Posted March 30, 2011 Exactly... which is what I posted much earlier in the thread. For some reason WiY is convinced DoT is a cheater... everything I've read from her tells me she's married to a man that doesn't deserve someone as awesome as she is... She's put up with a lot of her husband's crap, she definitely doesn't need it on this board too. Instead of WiY just saying "you know what I'm talking about" why doesn't he show what he's talking about? *sigh* I'm tired of all of you arguing on my thread. I can't even post here without seeing this crap. If Dreaming's husband is so bad then she needs to deal with her own marriage, and stop trying to come at me about mine. This bickering is making me want to move to another forum. I didn't come here to defend myself. Link to post Share on other sites
tami-chan Posted March 30, 2011 Share Posted March 30, 2011 I'm tired of all of you arguing on my thread. I can't even post here without seeing this crap. If Dreaming's husband is so bad then she needs to deal with her own marriage, and stop trying to come at me about mine. This bickering is making me want to move to another forum. I didn't come here to defend myself. ahhh ...unfortunately, as many of the regulars would say "this is a public forum" and people will respond to your post as they see fit-no matter if it is not the kind of response you were hoping to get....but you are a BS, so I think they won't tell you that, it might just be reserve for OWs/OMs. You probably need to report WIY for making unsubstantiated accusation to a poster on YOUR thread...gotta have control on one's thread, right? just sayin'! Link to post Share on other sites
tami-chan Posted March 30, 2011 Share Posted March 30, 2011 Forgot to respond to this. You know your post actually touched on something. I do think sometimes I probably crossed a line morally or my personal parameter got blurred, but I accept it as it is because I now know that leaving will be the best solution for me and my daughter. Well, I commend you for being accepting of that. It just goes to show that in certain circumstances even "good" people -in extreme emotional distress or discontent, are capable of compromising the parameters they set out for themselves. I hope you will be able to work out your anger and re-draw the demarcation lines. I think it will make it a lot less complicated for everyone, especially for you. Link to post Share on other sites
Lorelei_Lane Posted March 30, 2011 Share Posted March 30, 2011 I'm tired of all of you arguing on my thread. I can't even post here without seeing this crap. If Dreaming's husband is so bad then she needs to deal with her own marriage, and stop trying to come at me about mine. This bickering is making me want to move to another forum. I didn't come here to defend myself. Notspoken, I'm sorry your thread got jacked, but please don't attack me as I was never attacking YOU. I told you, although I don't agree with what you've done as in sleeping with your wife, I felt you needed to get out of that nasty marriage you're in. You're not happy. If you don't believe me, go back and look at my posts. I always tried to make sure I gave you advice. Link to post Share on other sites
Eddie Edirol Posted March 30, 2011 Share Posted March 30, 2011 I find it so hilarious that this guy is getting negative feedback from 3 female cheaters on how he's wrong for using his own wife to get a nut off, trying to make it seem as though he cheated, when his wife double-crossed him. So what he screwed her, end of story. No big deal. Lay off of it. As long as he's still leaving the 304 then that's all that matters. OMG for real! hey NotSpoken, You dont have to defend yourself, if you give your wife false hopes, well she will just have to get what needed to come to her. its about time she got some feelings hurt for lying and manipulatiing you for as long as she did. let her suffer, put her through it, let her hope even when you told her different. Link to post Share on other sites
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