kiss_andmakeup Posted March 24, 2011 Share Posted March 24, 2011 (edited) So, when I was in high school I had a very close group of friends. We all went on to separate colleges and separate endeavors and lost touch gradually over the years. In college, I made another wonderful group of friends that I really connected with and we had great times together. However, my 3 closest ones have moved to other states for jobs or for grad school (and far away ones too - Florida and Arizona - when I am in MI), and although we keep in touch on facebook and through e-mail, we see each other no more than once a year (if we are lucky). I would consider myself "friendly" with my co-workers but not exactly "friends"...we do occasionally go out together but only as a work group, never just two or three of us, and it's not like we hang out together on the weekends or anything. I have one semi-close friend that I made while I was in cosmetology school (after college) and a few mutual friends/acquaintances through her but...that's it! I live with my boyfriend, and I am very close with my family, so it's not like I am alone, but I still sometimes get that lonely feeling. I really miss my friends (the ones who moved) and at this point I have no idea how to make new ones. There is a group of girls at my workplace that all went to the same high school, went to local colleges and/or cosmetology schools, and all now work at the same place. They have been friends for over ten years and they are so close! I feel envious that they were lucky enough to all stay in the same place rather than spread about the country like my friends. I work full time, volunteer one to two nights a week, and do freelance work as a make-up artist and model so I keep busy, but sometimes it gets to me. I think about how when my boyfriend and I get married I'll have no idea who to ask to stand up in my wedding besides my sister. That hits home the realization that I really don't have conventional "girl friends" and it makes me sad. Anyone else that can relate? Edited March 24, 2011 by kiss_andmakeup Link to post Share on other sites
motherlover Posted March 25, 2011 Share Posted March 25, 2011 you know one of the reasons why i like this forum, is that it makes me realize i'm not the only one with certain things in life that i feel im secluded too. Instead of looking for answers, i have found through browsing, most responses are from people with no advice, but rather people who relate to the same scenerios. The truth is, this is what happenes to the majority of people after high school/college.. it is sad, im in the same boat, minus a partner to share my life with, so it's especially hard for me, when a relationship ends, and there is nobody to feel the social connection with. or friends to fall back on and help feel that gap. what's worse for someone like me, is although i like the idea of close friends, even when i have the chance to get out and do something, i often don't as if i feel like i need to get stuff done, or don't have the time, when you live your life all by yourself for so long, it actually feels like hanging out is wasting my personal time which is a horrible way to think :S i'm doomed.. Do you like how i replied to your problem, and started just talking about mine? Link to post Share on other sites
Author kiss_andmakeup Posted March 25, 2011 Author Share Posted March 25, 2011 what's worse for someone like me, is although i like the idea of close friends, even when i have the chance to get out and do something, i often don't as if i feel like i need to get stuff done, or don't have the time, when you live your life all by yourself for so long, it actually feels like hanging out is wasting my personal time Actually I know exactly what you mean and I am often that way too. When I do have the opportunity to go out with my friend and/or mutual acquaintances I often pass up the offer, due to being tired from work, volunteering, and all of the other things I do, or due to feeling like I have other things I should be doing, even if they are as simple as laundry or cleaning up around the house. I always kick myself for this but nonetheless it happens. you know one of the reasons why i like this forum, is that it makes me realize i'm not the only one with certain things in life that i feel im secluded too. Instead of looking for answers, i have found through browsing, most responses are from people with no advice, but rather people who relate to the same scenerios. ... Do you like how i replied to your problem, and started just talking about mine? Haha, no worries. I'm not sure if I was expecting advice or just looking to see if there were other people in my shoes. As you say, knowing others have the same problem as you is comforting. :] Link to post Share on other sites
Sw3etdev1L Posted March 25, 2011 Share Posted March 25, 2011 Well i can relate but not because we relate means that is healthy. What is healthy is grabbing the opportunities to make good friends and make em. Each day is a new dayand we have to make the most out of it. Link to post Share on other sites
westernxer Posted March 25, 2011 Share Posted March 25, 2011 Life changes drastically once you start a career, get married, etc. Friends slip away. I'm in the same boat. Good friends moved away or didn't move at all though we naturally drifted apart. Not all friendships are meant to last, and why should they? Link to post Share on other sites
eerie_reverie Posted March 25, 2011 Share Posted March 25, 2011 I can relate. I have very few friends in the world and all of them are a plane ride away. At least your have your boyfriend and your family. Link to post Share on other sites
Author kiss_andmakeup Posted March 26, 2011 Author Share Posted March 26, 2011 Life changes drastically once you start a career, get married, etc. Friends slip away. I'm in the same boat. Good friends moved away or didn't move at all though we naturally drifted apart. Not all friendships are meant to last, and why should they? My boyfriend has said the same thing; I'm starting to think it's not that unusual. I can relate. I have very few friends in the world and all of them are a plane ride away. At least your have your boyfriend and your family. Yes, I'm very grateful for them, without a doubt. Link to post Share on other sites
harmfulsweetz Posted March 27, 2011 Share Posted March 27, 2011 I think there are those that do go through schools together and kind of stay in the same group throughout, but there are those that drift apart because of distance, different interests etc. I used to have a tight-knit group of friends in high school, who I don't see anymore at all, except for one. That's not necessarily because they moved away but more because we moved on, everyone was doing different things-some went into the world of work, others to university, others just faded out. We left with the intent of keeping contact, and staying close, and some of that closeness remained for a time, but then life got ahead of us. When you're in the school/university environment it's very easy to be in a certain group and be close, because you see each other near to daily, but when distance is imposed, it's more difficult. Sadly. I then moved onto college, made a solid group of friends there, don't see them at all now. I think it's the same thing, just people moving on, those who stay, are those that truly matter. Life happens, you make friends, you lose friends, or you simply become acquaintainces. The hardest part for me is when I see them around, and barely have a clue what to say to them, because we're different people now. especially when conversation once flowed so easily for us. Link to post Share on other sites
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