worriedsick Posted March 24, 2011 Share Posted March 24, 2011 Ok, trying to get some feedback to see if perhaps I am overreacting. Here's the situation - my H and I have two kids and I am a SAHM. We can't really afford to pay a babysitter on a regular basis, so our time out alone is few and far between. The kicker is that whenever we ask either set of our parents, 95% of the time both sets tell us no for one reason or another. My child even asked his grandmother last week if he could spend the night with her, and she told him flat out no. He was so sad and didn't understand why, that I wanted to bitch-slap her for being so selfish. She didn't have anything else going on, either. Both my H and myself had wonderful grandparents - in fact, both of us remember spending more of our time with our grandparents than with our own parents. Now, we are both resentful of the fact that neither of our parents are willing to return the favor even a tiny amount. I am at the point that I am ready to tell both parents "Piss off, if you are too busy to help me with my kids when I actually need the help, then don't think I am going to go out of my way to let you see them when it is convenient for you, so go find some one else's family to call your own because I'm done". Am I overreacting, and does anyone else have the same situation? Just so frustrated!!! Link to post Share on other sites
greengoddess Posted March 24, 2011 Share Posted March 24, 2011 I actually did this but not to that mean extreme. When my first child was born my in laws and parents would constantly ask to come over and see him. ALL the time and I would run around cleaning everything and making my home perfect for their little granchild fix. Then everytime my husband and I would want to just go to dinner or something they would be too busy to babysit. So I finally got fed up and said no everytime they wanted to come play with the baby and I said if you want to see him you could really help us out by watching him a few minutes so we can keep our marriage happy and healthy. (those words work wonders. They think you may be having problems and they volunteer to sit.) After much NICE discussion I found out they were afraid to babysit. It had been so long since they were with a baby and they were scared of the responsibility. It wasn't they didn't love him or were too selfish. BE nice and talk to them and see what's up. Link to post Share on other sites
Author worriedsick Posted March 24, 2011 Author Share Posted March 24, 2011 I don't think they are afraid - both of them were much better and more helpful up until about three years ago. Now, getting either of them to commit is like pulling teeth. Both complain that they miss the kids, but then as soon as we need help, they are nowhere to be found. I have told both of them that we need help, but neither appear to care. I guess I can just figure that karma will get them in the end. I hope they don't expect me to take care of them and wipe their asses when they are old, because it's not gonna happen! Link to post Share on other sites
greengoddess Posted March 24, 2011 Share Posted March 24, 2011 Maybe the kids have gotten to be too big of a handful for them. Link to post Share on other sites
greengoddess Posted March 24, 2011 Share Posted March 24, 2011 seriously tell them your marriage is becoming strained because you never get time alone. They will help. It's not a lie. You need to be a couple more than just parents to keep a happy marriage. Link to post Share on other sites
Author worriedsick Posted March 24, 2011 Author Share Posted March 24, 2011 seriously tell them your marriage is becoming strained because you never get time alone. They will help. It's not a lie. You need to be a couple more than just parents to keep a happy marriage. It seems wrong that I have to go to such extremes to get them to see their grandchildren. I would rather just not go out and then tell them to suck it when they need me, rather than beg and plead with them. Link to post Share on other sites
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