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How do I approach him about being friends again?


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Hi,

 

I wondering if you could help me. I want to start over with an ex-friend/ boyfriend of mine.

 

I met a guy at work and we became really good friends. We used to talk on the phone, hang out and everything. Well I had feelings for him fom the jump and he liked me, too. But, I liked him more. He wasn't ready for anything serious, but I was. He is also a very big flirt, which I didn't like. We started seeing eachother more and when had sex after 2 months of dating. I told my buddies how much this guy means to me and who I think its going to be something serious. I really wanted to make things happen quickly (big mistake).

 

Well one day, I saw him flirting with 2 or 3 girls and I got really upset. After I calmed down, I called him and asked him what's the deal. He said that he was just talking to them and that he wasn't trying to get with them. Well as the conversation progressed I spoke to quickly and too soon, and I told him how much he meant to me and how I told my buddy's about how close we were. He freaked out, and said that I should have talked to him first about how I felt, and took from there, instead of telling the world. I said that I was sorry, and tried to square things away with him over 2-3 month period. I asked one of friends who was mutual friend of his to talk to him for me, but that went horribley wrong. He said that he wants nothing to do with me and that I talk to much. I was really depressed after that.

 

After he said those things, however, I noticed that he woud come around to my work area and just peak in me or sit down. He didn't say anything to me; he just stood around me or talked to someone else. Also I had deleted him from my buddy list, but he still kept me on his. Also one time one of his friends invited me over , to hang out with the two of them, but I declined.

 

I've seen him interact with other girls. I think he was evern dating one. I'm also trying to date others. But, as soon as some guy is talking with me around him or he hears that I'm going somewhere to meet someone, he stops what he is doing and tried to listen. Sometimes I wonder if and why he even cares after he said those mean things.

 

Lately he's been nicer to me, and gradually, he opens up a little more, but he doesn't say much of anything. I ususally do most of the talking. Usually when he does talk to me a lot, its outside of work or at a social gathering.

 

Anyway, I think about the mistakes I made in this situation, and I wish I could start over as friends with him. I know that he acted llike a jerk towards me, but at the same time I shouldn't have pressured him. I haven't called him in almost a year. How do I approach him about wanting to be friends again.?

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perhaps just give him a call to see how he is? no pressure or 'talks', just see how he is and tell him how you are, if he sounds friendly.

 

my 2c,

-yes

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