Cupiddd86 Posted March 25, 2011 Share Posted March 25, 2011 (edited) Hello Everyone, Pre-Break up: Hello Everyone, So I met my girlfriend online and we've been together for 4-5 months now. (We've known each other for more then a year) It started out with just talking on MSN occasionally but we found out we had much more in common so we started calling on Skype until I asked her if she wanted to go out with me. I met her for the first time in real life this February and we immediately hit it off. She told me how much she missed me when I got back home. Now however after meeting her in real life she has told me that she doesn't know if she can handle this long distance relationship. I've offered her countless solutions but she doesn't want any of them.. but when I bring up a break up she doesn't know if she wants that either.. I've brought up; coming there every month, moving there, , going on a break, breaking up.. i'm not really sure what to do anymore? She doesn't want to move either. Issue started with: One morning she called me and told me about her night; I misheard her completely and heard that she said some guy that she just met brought her home, then woke her up by phone to see if she was OK and she would later go out with him for a coffee. I got jealous and told her well.. OK.. Hf. And bye bye.. In a disappointed tone. Apparently I hung up before the bye so she was mad at me. We talked it through later that night but this had somehow changed our relationship. The Break Up: So I went there in person to fix it.. And failed. 2nd day I was there we had some arguments about no specific things. First she was mad because she couldn't find a parking spot, I told her to stop acting it out on me since it wasn't my fault. Second was because of something minor which I don't even remember. Third was because she seemed a bit un-cheery I tried to cheer her up and when she finally smiled I told her I'll just keep looking at her because I didn't want to miss any of her beautiful smile. She got mad at me because she didn't want me staring at her.. (go figure). When we went for a walk she suddenly grabbed her phone and started texting then saying she was planning on going to see her friend since she couldn't handle it anymore. I told her that it sucked since I came there for her, for our relationship and to fix it and she was just gonna leave me alone. So I made to turn around and move and she got mad suddenly following me. After some time we sat down and she told me after a while she can't do this and doesn't want to find a solution, she doesn't know if this is what she wants but she quits.. As in breaking up. She still told me that she will spend the remaining days with me if I feel like it.. After the break up: One day after the break up we met up for lunch and went for a coffee after. We basically walked around and talked and laughed about everything and nothing. Our futures separately and so on. During these talks she really let on that she doesn't know what she is gonna do without me because she used to be centered around me. Talking to me when I got at work; poking me during the day and calling me when I would get home after work. We basically spend every free moment talking to each other. Telling me she didn't want to lose that. So the day after this; she told me she wasn't feeling well and she was feeling too bad to come out. She kept telling me she felt so bad that I would be bored. Until at some point I told her, well I could check to see if there is an earlier flight back home? And she got insanely mad at me.. I don't really understand why, she broke up with me and why would it matter if I left sooner? After some time she was okay again and she told me we would meet up the day after. The day after was really weird.. Still really fun and all but I noticed she was wearing make up and really did her best on her appearance. She was also more clingy and huggy. Like saying she was cold while grabbing my arm and cuddling to my body, holding my hand etc. So we just talked a lot and at some point it was about our break up; I told her that I did agree to the break up but still found it a shame.. I would've gladly worked out our problems (minor fights and the distance) I told her I actually found a job near and she got really thoughtful for a bit then saying it's really admirable that I would drop everything to be with her. Telling me she probably would not do that. I told her well.. I didn't realize how much she meant to me until after the break and since I never was sure about my future it hit me. My life was happiest with her and I could actually do anything if I could just come home to her. She got really thoughtful and didn't answer. After that she told me she had to work the morning after so she would have to leave early. I walked her to the metro and we hugged and kissed.. When I made to let go she grabbed me closer and hugged me more. Telling me to let her know when I got home. (kind of weird) since she is still really worried and concerned about me. She told me she felt really bad I had to leave on my own.. I also gave her a small present (bought pre-break up). So when I got home she asked me why I didn't write her sth personal in it.. Uhm Hellooo break up? So I'm a bit confused on what this girl really wants? I really like her and still love her but I need to find out if this has a future or not. Everything feels like it hasn't from her side. She has called me after the break up and it was a bit weird. We were laughing and talking and flirting (from both sides). After we hung up she told me that she liked it that we talked. How can you go from insanely in love from both sides.. to broken up to friends in a time span of 2 weeks? This makes no sense at all.. please help! Thanks! Edit: this might pass as a break up / second chance / long distance.. But considering it's a break up atm I will post it here but I do want her back! Edited March 25, 2011 by Cupiddd86 Might not have posted it in the right forum! Link to post Share on other sites
DollyGirl12 Posted March 25, 2011 Share Posted March 25, 2011 Hi, I'm sorry for how you are feeling right now and what you are going through. I'm not sure, but it sounds like you are both confused as to where you are at. LDR's can be very difficult and it sounds like that is what she is struggling with the most. Sometimes when we know the other is struggling with that and questioning it we can let the anxiety start to slip in, which tends to show up. It doesn't sound like it's over cut and dry right now. What I would do, at some point (you may want to step away for a few days or let her reach out to you) is have a discussion with her, very open, to find out what she is really thinking and feeling. If it's something that she cannot handle then please realize it's not about you. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Cupiddd86 Posted March 26, 2011 Author Share Posted March 26, 2011 Well thing is I have had this discussion with her a couple of days after we broke up. I asked her what the real reasons were why she broke up with me. She told me it was the misunderstandings, the fights and the distance. When I told her that every relationship has fights she told me she just couldn't take it anymore. Then shortly after when I told her I would move to close the distance issue she just told me I'd have no future there. Again after that I told her my future would be with her and i'd love to work on that.. she just told me it was admirable and she couldn't do it. No change since then :/ Link to post Share on other sites
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