Is it wrong to travel 2 weeks per month

[PrivatePilot]

So I am 24 and have been married for almost a year now. I am currently in that position in life where it's time to set myself on my career path. I have been training the past few months to become a pilot. While my wife originally thought my lessons were strictly for recreational purposes, we've begun discussing my future as an airline pilot. Like most careeers there are many pros and cons, but from her perspective many many cons. For starters the road to becoming a full fledged licensed airline pilot is a very long and difficult one. It requires a lot of sacrifice in the initial training stages. It is very costly and time consuming. There constantly is potential to be relocated on two weeks notice, and this is all for the initial 2-4 years of training!

Once I become fully licensed and meet all the requirements, I have no say where I'd be based once I get a job. That could mean more relocating. And ofcourse the schedule that pilots fly on is very unconventional to say the least. Here's the deal, the FAA doesn't allow pilots to fly more than 85 flight hours per month, given the mandatory time off between 8 hour shifts, a pilot works roughly 12, 8 hour days per month. Again initially when a pilot gets a job, they are ranked very low on the seniority ladder and are frequently forced to be laid-over in a city other than their home base on a nightly basis for a few years.

So we are stuggling on two major issues. The first my wife thinks our marriage would be ruined by my lack of presence in my first years. She is afraid once we have children, which will be in the next few years, I am going to miss major parts of that child's life, and when my schedule gets accomadating the kid will be much older for me to "watch him grow up" Secondly, she is very uncomfortable with the idea that we will move where the airline tell us to, whenever they tell us to. She loves the sense of community that we have were we live, she is not into the idea entering a new one and all that.

Now she always tells me that she feels like she is getting in the way of my dreams, and also she makes me feel like I am being so selfish in choosing a career that will force me to be away so often. So we have a difficult dilema on our hands.

 

Am I wrong is choosing a career that I know will always give me satisfaction, and do something I will enjpy forever (unlike the hated 9-5 jobs that most people rant about), am I putting myself and my goals above my marriage. Is it wrong to focus on my career no matter what or what won't be the consequences of my career choice. I love her so much and care so much about our marriage. But at the same time, we spend more time at our jobs than we do with our loved ones, so shouldn't I atleast find something that I will always love in a career?

 

Help! I don't know what to do!

[moimeme]

Is it possible for you to find a job which will allow you to fly but not with the same restrictions? Perhaps as a pilot for a company executive or for a smaller organization? I know there are lots of jobs in aviation; can you explore further to see if you can manage to do what you love without having as much disruption to your family? What about local charter organizations?

[HokeyReligions]

Moimeme has a good idea. Check that out.

 

Its horrible when you feel like you have to choose between your spouse or your career -- keep looking for compromises.

 

My brother was a long-haul trucker. He did that the first few years he was married to his current wife. He was sometimes only home a day or two a month. My brother was 49 when he met his current wife (he'd been widowed for several years) and they both have raised their families and have no plans other than retirement, and had both been living independently for a long time, but the time apart was really hard on them both. My brother loves driving and the freedom he has on the road, but he had to make a choice and he chose to quit driving and find something else. He does not like his current job all that much and it pays less, but the upside is that he is minutes from home and he sees his wife every day and night and that is more important to him.

 

Being young and planning a family, etc. can make it more stressful because you DO need to be there for your wife and your children. Going through a year or so of training and sacrifice is doable if you both work at your marriage and know that it won't always be like this.

 

My first year of marriage my husband and I worked different 12 hour shifts. I would come home and he would leave, he would come home and I would leave. We worked six days a week and did all the chores on the 7th day. We didn't eat meals together, or sleep together, or watch the same TV shows together. It was really difficult that first year.

[PrivatePilot]

Is it possible for you to find a job which will allow you to fly but not with the same restrictions?

 

Yes and no

 

Perhaps as a pilot for a company executive or for a smaller organization?

 

 

 

Well those pilots actually have a tougher schedule than airline pilots, because unlike airline pilots who are on a rigid monthly schedule, corporate pilots for the most part are considered "on-call" 24 hours a day, meaning they must be ready to go in their aircraft on 2 hours notice from thier bosses. Although they may not fly as much at strange hours per se, they have no choice at all as to exactly when they go up and fly

 

 

 

I know there are lots of jobs in aviation; can you explore further to see if you can manage to do what you love without having as much disruption to your family?

 

 

 

I have looked in these areas as a backup, thankfully I knew my calling when I was younger, so I have a degree in Aviation Management, so as a backup I will work in something aviation related

 

 

What about local charter organizations?

 

 

Again good idea, but the pay is just terrible. Pilots generally fly for charters to build up hours on thier resumes until they meet the airlines requirements for experience. In this industy it's a double edged sword. The more hours you fly versus the type of aircraft (complex jets vs. simple turbo props) dictate salary, and all the glory is at the airlines.