stacy Posted April 2, 2004 Share Posted April 2, 2004 i am so upset right now. my guy had been away on a business trip to taiwan for the past month.. and now i have come to find that he went to one of those seedy massage parlors. he told me that he wasn't aware that the chic was going to start massaging his member, and that he was too embarassed to tell her to stop. this is the worst excuse i have ever heard! i consider this cheating and he does not. he said they did not have sex, so it's not cheating. i beg to differ. please help! Link to post Share on other sites
UCFKevin Posted April 2, 2004 Share Posted April 2, 2004 Hmm. Yeah, it's cheating. That excuse of his is f'ing RIDICULOUS. Link to post Share on other sites
Pyrannaste Posted April 2, 2004 Share Posted April 2, 2004 Of course it is cheating! No wonder you are upset.... It was him confessing he went to the massage parlor, or did you find it out by yourself? Link to post Share on other sites
HokeyReligions Posted April 2, 2004 Share Posted April 2, 2004 Um YEAH its cheating! I would dump his ass now! Link to post Share on other sites
Darkangelism Posted April 2, 2004 Share Posted April 2, 2004 Yeah sounds like cheating. But he could just be stupid and be telling the truth. Link to post Share on other sites
stacy Posted April 2, 2004 Share Posted April 2, 2004 actually he started off by telling me that he got a massage but the place was really different than what they have here in the US. of course, i asked in which way and he just said that a lot of the massage "therapists" are sluts in the making. that they start off giving massages and then learn the tricks of the trade by offering "extra goodies" to their clients. i asked him how he knew this, and he turned red and told me that she turned him over after his back massage, took the towel off and began massaging his member. i could feel the venom rise in my throat. so, i asked him, "and you let her" ?! he just told me that he wasn't expecting it and that he was too embarassed to tell her to stop. i love him so much.. but i can't excuse this. a part of me feels like i should dump his ass, but the other part naively says that he did not have sex with her ( which i'm sure the skank offered) and he was open about it with me. this sucks.. Link to post Share on other sites
fredrolin Posted April 2, 2004 Share Posted April 2, 2004 a hand job? technically it's cheating. What a boring way to lose a relationship. Link to post Share on other sites
dyermaker Posted April 3, 2004 Share Posted April 3, 2004 Originally posted by stacy actually he started off by telling me that he got a massage but the place was really different than what they have here in the US. of course, i asked in which way and he just said that a lot of the massage "therapists" are sluts in the making. that they start off giving massages and then learn the tricks of the trade by offering "extra goodies" to their clients. i asked him how he knew this, and he turned red and told me that she turned him over after his back massage, took the towel off and began massaging his member. i could feel the venom rise in my throat. so, i asked him, "and you let her" ?! he just told me that he wasn't expecting it and that he was too embarassed to tell her to stop. For the record, that's *exactly* how it works in the US. Link to post Share on other sites
Girlie Posted April 3, 2004 Share Posted April 3, 2004 Not only is it cheating, but I don't know...call me suspicious, I just have a hard time believing he went to one of those places not knowing what to expect. Link to post Share on other sites
Pyrannaste Posted April 3, 2004 Share Posted April 3, 2004 Originally posted by stacy i love him so much.. but i can't excuse this. a part of me feels like i should dump his ass, but the other part naively says that he did not have sex with her ( which i'm sure the skank offered) and he was open about it with me. this sucks.. Only good thing about this is that it was him confessing and not you finding it out on your own. I think the only reason why he started telling you he got a massage was that he wanted to spill everything out, he was surely feeling guilty, and it might be that he was actually telling the truth about the 'too embarassed to stop'part. Just a massage might have been all he was looking for when he entered the parlor. If you dumped him, it would surely serve him right. BUT you might want to give the guy a chance, if he is worth of it and you could forgive him - in case make sure he he understands that it definitely _was_ cheating, and make it clear that he is never to do anything like that again, and he is never going to enter such a place again. In case you don't dump him, let also him know that you are still with him because it was *him*confessing and not you finding it out. Good luck whatever you decide to do. Please post again and let us know how things are doing. Link to post Share on other sites
befuddled11 Posted April 3, 2004 Share Posted April 3, 2004 Let me ask you this......are massages something he regularly gets in the U.S.? (not the sleazy kind, I mean the therapeutic kind, by a registered massage therapist) If not, then just off the bat I find it 'strange' that he'd have his first massage in a foreign country. Secondly, there's no way in the world he wouldn't have known "what kind" of massage parlor it was. Was he away on business with other guys from work? Was this his first time to Asia? These types of massage parlors are "well known" in Asia. He'd had to have been a moron not to know what to "expect." Secondly, he claims he was "too embarassed to stop her"? Oh brother, that's pathetic. So he has no respect for his body that he'd lie there and let some stranger, one who's had hundreds of d*cks in her mouth before, suck on his and feel too embarassed to stop? PUHLEASE! He didn't stop her because a) he knew what to expect and b) he was enjoying it. Duh! How can you be sure that a blowjob was all he got while there? Maybe it didn't stop at "that." You have to admit...a boyfriend who lets some strange Asian women suck him off isn't exactly a picture of integrity and honor. Sexually transmitted diseases are rampant in Asia, especially HIV, Hepatitis B and Hepatitis C. Are you willing to take the RISK of continuing to be with him...and putting your own health at risk? It can take 15-50 days for a person to test positive for Hep B and Hep C (if they'd contracted it). It can take a FULL 6 months for someone to test positive for HIV. Are you willing to wait a full 6 months to find out if he's "clean"? Obviously no condom was used when she blew him....so considering the vast # of d*cks she sucks, who's to say she didn't have Herpes? And that he's NOW got it? Do you want a lifelong virus such as Herpes to contend with?? I say it doesn't matter jack sh*t that he "told you." It doesn't change the fact of what took place, what he allowed to take place, what he very likely knew was GOING TO TAKE PLACE. If you remain with someone like this, and you're willing to put your health at risk, and you're willing to remain with someone who has no respect for themself or you and your relationship, then I guess that's your choice.....but I think it's really sad when women accept being betrayed and crapped on, all for the "sake of love." It's really lame, actually. Sends these kinds of men a message that it's "okay" to be pigs. Link to post Share on other sites
befuddled11 Posted April 3, 2004 Share Posted April 3, 2004 If this clown doesn't constitute getting a "blowjob" as *cheating*, then what do you think that says? Can you trust him there at home? Would seem to me that his idea of cheating ONLY involves intercourse, then in his mind, he'd be well within his rights to go out and get BJs from any woman (there's plenty out there who would) and not think twice about it. You going to trust that he won't? Don't be naive ! Link to post Share on other sites
jenny Posted April 3, 2004 Share Posted April 3, 2004 there is a 'release' option that some massage therapists offer, even in the US, but it's considered mostly unethical. (i think stacy noted it was a hand release, but it's still cheating.) stacy: worst case scenario: your guy is a total jerk who uses women. best case scenario: your guy is an idiot who does not understand relationship boundaries. either way, not a good bet for a relationship. would he mind if you went out to a male massage therapist who fingered you and made it happen? put the situation to him. if he would mind, he is honour bound to admit he was over the line as well. Link to post Share on other sites
stacy Posted April 5, 2004 Share Posted April 5, 2004 someone asked me if my guy was unaware of the seedy parlors in that country. i somewhat assume he was.. but that might just be naivete on my part. he had never been to that country before, let alone out of the US. he went there only because he was sent on a business trip. as of late, i can't find the heart to even look at him. i feel ashamed of his lame ass excuses and his cheating ways. after thinking about it, i realized, sex or no sex, it was a sexual act meant to be shared with only me, not some skank with hepatitus. thanks all who posted. Link to post Share on other sites
dyermaker Posted April 5, 2004 Share Posted April 5, 2004 Originally posted by stacy someone asked me if my guy was unaware of the seedy parlors in that country. i somewhat assume he was.. but that might just be naivete on my part. *nods emphatically* Saying you think a massage parlor massages above the belt is like saying you think an escort service shows you shows you how to get someplace. Link to post Share on other sites
sonofhud Posted April 5, 2004 Share Posted April 5, 2004 this reminds me of pulp fiction.... is givin a woman a foot massage and eatin her out in the same ball park? I think not.... BUt givin a dude a cock massage is..... Link to post Share on other sites
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