Interested in a hot guy in my class. How to talk to him?

[Lilmisus]

So, there's this pretty hot guy in my class. I've never talked to him, don't know his name, don't know anything about him, but I'm interested. For the past week, every time that I look over at him and his friends, he's typically looking at me and gives me a smile when we make eye contact, but I typically just look away and give a slight smile.

 

Today, one of his friends that he typically sits with and talks to, sat two seats down from me (where he's never sat before). I didn't realize it was his friend at first until I saw Mr. New dude come in, sit where he typically does (one row and table down from me), but at an angel to where he was facing us, and I noticed that they were doing some head movements in my direction, and talking, and that he was trying to get me to look at him. I, of course, didn't do anything and chose to ignore them. So you know..I typically don't go for guys who can't find it in themselves to come up, talk to me..I don't like games and feeling like they are just seeing how often I give them the attention they're looking for.

 

So, I'm just wondering, what are some ways that I can talk to this new dude or at least learn his name? I think he's interested, but ya know..can't know until you talk to them. What are some ways to actually get him over to talk to me? He seems like the popular, jock, hot guy type who could show me a good time. And that's really all I'm looking for right now, just a couple dates with guys, but nothing serious. Any suggestions?

[Dlyrica]

Hmm...I personally think it's very awkward to meet people in class but my plan of attack would probably be to try to sit next to him...or near him and then have a bit of small talk (ask simple questions about class even if you know the answer, smile at him if the professor says something funny or dumb, etc). After you feel more comfortable (or if he initiates it) you can try holding longer conversations with him, introducing yourself, etc. Once you've established a sort of friendship, I would probably at some point friend request him on facebook and then go from there... That may be horrible advice, I'm not sure because I always meet guys at bars, parties, etc but if I were to initiate something between someone in class then thats the route I would take. Good luck!

[Lilmisus]

Hmm...I personally think it's very awkward to meet people in class but my plan of attack would probably be to try to sit next to him...or near him and then have a bit of small talk (ask simple questions about class even if you know the answer, smile at him if the professor says something funny or dumb, etc). After you feel more comfortable (or if he initiates it) you can try holding longer conversations with him, introducing yourself, etc. Once you've established a sort of friendship, I would probably at some point friend request him on facebook and then go from there... That may be horrible advice, I'm not sure because I always meet guys at bars, parties, etc but if I were to initiate something between someone in class then thats the route I would take. Good luck!

 

Thanks! That's actually pretty solid advice, one that I'd definitely use if able to. But for this class, I can't really do the whole sitting next to him move sadly. It's a huge classroom with 80 students, where the teacher doesn't care if we go to class or not (he actually left early today, which I did last class and he smiled as I left ) and because of that, the tables are basically split into three groups. One to the left and right (with two seater tables) sides of the room, and a majority of the tables in the middle, which sit about 10 per row. He sits to the left side of the room, with the friend that sat two down from me today, and I sit near the left, but in the middle....if that makes any sense. So, he typically has a sitting partner, and they usually go in around the same time.

 

Any other suggestions..especially considering this "new" information?

[Dlyrica]

haha hmmm...thats tricky! Is there anyway you can find out his name? Does your teacher take roll, etc? You could always go semi-stalker with it and find out his name then either email him (through the university) or friend request him on facebook? I have no clue!

[Lilmisus]

haha hmmm...thats tricky! Is there anyway you can find out his name? Does your teacher take roll, etc? You could always go semi-stalker with it and find out his name then either email him (through the university) or friend request him on facebook? I have no clue!

 

There's really only two ways that I can "sneakily" find out his name, since our teacher doesn't call out roll. We each have to go to the front of the classroom, swipe our id, and it shows up on the computer, then we either sit down or leave (without trying to get caught). Typically, he's one of the first people of the 80 of us to swipe his card, and I'm about 10 after him. So..I could just try very very hard to get right behind him..and catch his name there. Or, do the extreme stalker thing and look at the rooster online and look through all 250 students enrolled in the classes and go through each of them and see which is him (there aren't any pictures, it'd take hours)..which I'm not really prepared to do.

 

Part of me is wondering if I should just give into his trying to make eye contact with me and just lock eyes for a little while and give him a full on smile to let him know I'm interested. But I don't typically just start out with a guy like that, I usually start out with talking to him, so I'm not sure how I'd feel about doing it with him. Eh..I hate doing the whole "dating around" thing..or trying to.

[ivalm]

haha hmmm...thats tricky! Is there anyway you can find out his name? Does your teacher take roll, etc? You could always go semi-stalker with it and find out his name then either email him (through the university) or friend request him on facebook? I have no clue!

 

Um, don't go the semi-stalker route. It would creep me out. What I would suggest you do is, for example at the end of class, come by him and say something simple like "so how do you like this class?" or anything, doesn't really matter. If he's interested he's going to pick up on a conversation, at least if he's not socially awkward, which from his description he's not.

[somedude81]

First thing I need to say is that you used "hot guy" in the title. A man asking for advice about a "hot girl" will get torn apart and the thread will be pages and pages of people calling him shallow.

 

Moving on.

 

Purposefully miss a day of class. When you come back, go up to him and ask him if he has the notes for the day you missed. Be a little extra flirty. Even if he doesn't make a move, that would have set the ground work for future rapport.

 

If he asks why you are asking him for notes, he's an idiot. Move on.

Edited March 25, 2011 by somedude81

[Thedude22]

Great thing about school is you always have a common ground. Class. Ask him when that next test is blah blah blah you get the gist. It's just an in for conversation. I evolved past this in my college moves but as a girl all you have to do is give him an in and maybe wave him in a bit and he should take care of the rest.

 

It can be kind of awkward if you don't sit next to him in the first couple weeks and stake that out as "your seat". I was in an early class last semester and I ended up having to sit next to a fugly girl instead of all the hotties, next thing I know me and shaniqua are "semester partners" while some shovel face gets to be with the solid 8 the whole semester. Needless to say I dropped the class haha.

[Lilmisus]

First thing I need to say is that you used "hot guy" in the title. A man asking for advice about a "hot girl" will get torn apart and the thread will be pages and pages of people calling him shallow.

Moving on.

 

Purposefully miss a day of class. When you come back, go up to him and ask him if he has the notes for the day you missed. Be a little extra flirty. Even if he doesn't make a move, that would have set the ground work for future rapport.

 

If he asks why you are asking him for notes, he's an idiot. Move on.

 

Haha, sorry! I know that some people do get all worked up when you "degrade" someone like that by calling them hot instead of "incredibly handsome" or "beautiful" so I should have seen that one coming. Thanks for calling me out.

 

I might just pull that move though. I sometimes wait outside of my class and talk to a couple of girl friends of mine, and he typically comes around that time. I definitely can't do it for the next class since he did skip class today, but maybe in the near future I could. Thanks!

[Lilmisus]

Great thing about school is you always have a common ground. Class. Ask him when that next test is blah blah blah you get the gist. It's just an in for conversation. I evolved past this in my college moves but as a girl all you have to do is give him an in and maybe wave him in a bit and he should take care of the rest.

 

It can be kind of awkward if you don't sit next to him in the first couple weeks and stake that out as "your seat". I was in an early class last semester and I ended up having to sit next to a fugly girl instead of all the hotties, next thing I know me and shaniqua are "semester partners" while some shovel face gets to be with the solid 8 the whole semester. Needless to say I dropped the class haha.

 

I did that before, and wanted to a few times other than that. Having "eye candy" to look at, talk to, and be partners with really makes the class so much more interesting and worthwhile. I always try to leave a seat open or near me for a nice looking guy to sit near..but being a psychology major with only a small percentage of my major being guys (especially good looking guys), it's kinda hard. This is actually the only class that has any hot guys in it..so trying to make it worthwhile

[somedude81]

Oh, since he missed a day, you could offer him your notes. Though that's a little harder to pull off, unless you psychically convince him to approach you

 

Some men do need a nudge for them to pick up on a woman's interest. Really any casual comment from you to him is enough to break the ice. I do see how it is hard, especially when you are not sitting next to him.

 

Now just take a second to think how hard it is for a man to do this, and it's the only way to get a girl. We aren't super brave either.

[Thedude22]

I did that before, and wanted to a few times other than that. Having "eye candy" to look at, talk to, and be partners with really makes the class so much more interesting and worthwhile. I always try to leave a seat open or near me for a nice looking guy to sit near..but being a psychology major with only a small percentage of my major being guys (especially good looking guys), it's kinda hard. This is actually the only class that has any hot guys in it..so trying to make it worthwhile

 

Doesn't it ****ing suck when some 98 year old man sits right next to you? Bleh that happened to me a few times.

 

From a guy who made his sexual living off of these kind of pick ups, I can give you some tips on how to be more accessible because I never talked to some girls due to a few things they did to make it harder.

 

1. Get to class early:I can't talk to you during class in most cases, if you see a guy you like there 10 mins before class. get there 10 mins early. 15 mins, get there 15 mins early. Me and a girl did this back and forth for awhile guess what? We ended up in class a whole hour early, just sitting and talking, we got to know each other really well and eventually we got to know each other even better

 

2. Leave at the same time as the person you like: Sometimes I would say to myself, you know I'm going to ask that girl to coffee today. Then she's stay after class to ask the professor something (happened yesterday actually), take forever to get her **** together and leave etc. Try to be in the vicinity of the guy you want, give him an opportunity to talk to you after class.

 

3. Stop looking at your cell phone! I hated when the girl I wanted did this. I'd be ready to ask her about her weekend then boom she's looking at her stupid phone the whole time. Even notes can put me off, it says "I'm busy, don't talk to me".

 

4. Don't talk to your girlfriend the whole class! If you have a friend in the class, you are going to have to ditch them to boost your chances. Unless they are friends with the guy you want they are totally useless. It's really intimidating to hit on a girl within a group of other girls you know? They can be useful on relaying information without telling the guy straight up though, like "I hate being single" etc. My ears perked up when I eavesdropped that tid bit.

 

5. Try to relay that you are single: My first mission with all girls was trying to map out if they were single or not. I usually facebook searched (I know I'm a creep) to see if I should go for it or if she was already taken. Make a comment about being single or something in conversation like above or just never talk about being with a guy or else I'll assume you're taken (though that won't always stop me )

 

This will make it easy on him, if he is interested and has any sort of balls he will eventually hit on you and ask you to coffee. By the way if you have facebook and you want to know more about the guy, look him up on the class roster and search for him. If you have any mutual friends add him. I got a girls number from last semester that I never could talk to today. Facebook is the ultimate easy talk scenario for guys, I feel like a puss getting a girls number that way but hey it's a living!

Edited March 25, 2011 by Thedude22

[somedude81]

My first mission with all girls was trying to map out if they were single or not. I usually facebook searched (I know I'm a creep) to see if I should go for it or if she was already taken.

Have you seen The Social Network?

 

That's the reason why the relationship status field even exists

[Kelemort]

I think you're setting yourself up for some trouble if you want to sit passively back and try to spare yourself rejection by waiting for a guy to talk to you. Good luck. That's probably his same tactic. I am glad to see though that you're recognizing that initiating conversation with him might be your best bet.

 

Slowly start working your way until you're sitting closer to him. Take note of what he's wearing. Have you noticed any books he's reading, any stickers for bands or something like that on bookbags? Ask about them. People have done this to me - I don't find it strange, especially if we sit next to each other week after week.

 

If you're sitting near him and group projects are assigned, you could lean over and ask if he has any partners for the assignment.

 

Besides that? After class, maybe you could ask him if he caught what the professor said, or if he knows which chapters are on the test. And introduce yourself when you do it - you're talking to him, after all. He should know your name. This will make it easier for him to approach you or ask you something in the future.

 

It's a good sign that it sounds like he's talking to you. At the end of the day...don't be embarrassed. Confidence is hot.

[Lilmisus]

Doesn't it ****ing suck when some 98 year old man sits right next to you? Bleh that happened to me a few times.

 

From a guy who made his sexual living off of these kind of pick ups, I can give you some tips on how to be more accessible because I never talked to some girls due to a few things they did to make it harder.

 

1. Get to class early:I can't talk to you during class in most cases, if you see a guy you like there 10 mins before class. get there 10 mins early. 15 mins, get there 15 mins early. Me and a girl did this back and forth for awhile guess what? We ended up in class a whole hour early, just sitting and talking, we got to know each other really well and eventually we got to know each other even better

 

2. Leave at the same time as the person you like: Sometimes I would say to myself, you know I'm going to ask that girl to coffee today. Then she's stay after class to ask the professor something (happened yesterday actually), take forever to get her **** together and leave etc. Try to be in the vicinity of the guy you want, give him an opportunity to talk to you after class.

 

3. Stop looking at your cell phone! I hated when the girl I wanted did this. I'd be ready to ask her about her weekend then boom she's looking at her stupid phone the whole time. Even notes can put me off, it says "I'm busy, don't talk to me".

 

4. Don't talk to your girlfriend the whole class! If you have a friend in the class, you are going to have to ditch them to boost your chances. Unless they are friends with the guy you want they are totally useless. It's really intimidating to hit on a girl within a group of other girls you know? They can be useful on relaying information without telling the guy straight up though, like "I hate being single" etc. My ears perked up when I eavesdropped that tid bit.

 

5. Try to relay that you are single: My first mission with all girls was trying to map out if they were single or not. I usually facebook searched (I know I'm a creep) to see if I should go for it or if she was already taken. Make a comment about being single or something in conversation like above or just never talk about being with a guy or else I'll assume you're taken (though that won't always stop me )

 

This will make it easy on him, if he is interested and has any sort of balls he will eventually hit on you and ask you to coffee. By the way if you have facebook and you want to know more about the guy, look him up on the class roster and search for him. If you have any mutual friends add him. I got a girls number from last semester that I never could talk to today. Facebook is the ultimate easy talk scenario for guys, I feel like a puss getting a girls number that way but hey it's a living!

 

Yes it does suck. One dude, who wasn't quite that old, more like...in his 40's, sat by me in a lab my freshman year along with one hot guy, and he talked the entire class, was incredibly rude and I couldn't take it anymore. I had to switch tables..wasn't next to any hot guys anymore, but anything was better than that.

 

And those are actually some pretty great tips, thanks! I'll respond to each of them..

 

1. First, that's really cute how you and that chick did that, I seriously said "aww" when I read it haha. But I get to class as early as I can. I have a class before it, that typically ends early, so I get there 10-15 minutes before class along with a majority of my classmates. Unless, I'm talking to any of my friends, in which case I get there like..right when we're supposed to. He gets there about five minutes early each class, and always sits and talks to his friends, but it's around this time where I really notice him looking at me. On Wednesday, I was sitting there, getting ready to walk out since I was skipping that day, and he walked in, and we made eye contact like...5-10 times..but he never came over to talk to me..so I didn't do anything, haha. I don't want to go and approach him and his friends, that'd be a bit awkward.

 

2. Everyone leaves at the same time. He typically bolts out the class, and I follow behind him typically. With how fast he runs out of there it'd be a little hard to talk to him..but if I tried really, really hard, maybe I could pull it off..I'd have to block his path though..

 

3. I do need to stop doing this. I bring my laptop to class along with maybe..half of the class (I actually posted this thread while in class and while my teacher was making us listen to whale songs!), so typically I'm turning it on when he walks in. If not..then I'm looking at my phone. I guess that maybe I should give him more room to actually say something instead of just ignoring him or staying on the laptop or whatever. Good advice.

 

4. This is actually the only class this semester where I don't have any friends in it. I know a few people, but none of whom that I actually talk to or want to talk to, so this isn't an issue for me.

 

5. Part of me is wondering if I should just "scream" at a random someone across the room and say "Yeah, me and "Johnny boy" broke up the other day! I'm single, ready to mingle, and looking for a guy to show me a good time. Know any?" and look in his direction with a wink and do the "what's up" nod towards him. Probably wont happen, but It'd be funny. Plus, it'd get the job done.

 

But great list, very helpful. I just can't really do the last part that you mentioned about looking him up. Yeah...250 person rooster, 80 students in my class..a majority being guys..it'll be very very hard. I'd much prefer screaming across the room what I said for #5.

[mr.dream merchant]

So, there's this pretty hot guy in my class. I've never talked to him, don't know his name, don't know anything about him, but I'm interested. For the past week, every time that I look over at him and his friends, he's typically looking at me and gives me a smile when we make eye contact, but I typically just look away and give a slight smile.

 

Today, one of his friends that he typically sits with and talks to, sat two seats down from me (where he's never sat before). I didn't realize it was his friend at first until I saw Mr. New dude come in, sit where he typically does (one row and table down from me), but at an angel to where he was facing us, and I noticed that they were doing some head movements in my direction, and talking, and that he was trying to get me to look at him. I, of course, didn't do anything and chose to ignore them. So you know..I typically don't go for guys who can't find it in themselves to come up, talk to me..I don't like games and feeling like they are just seeing how often I give them the attention they're looking for.

 

So, I'm just wondering, what are some ways that I can talk to this new dude or at least learn his name? I think he's interested, but ya know..can't know until you talk to them. What are some ways to actually get him over to talk to me? He seems like the popular, jock, hot guy type who could show me a good time. And that's really all I'm looking for right now, just a couple dates with guys, but nothing serious. Any suggestions?

 

 

So talk to him?

[Thedude22]

Yes it does suck. One dude, who wasn't quite that old, more like...in his 40's, sat by me in a lab my freshman year along with one hot guy, and he talked the entire class, was incredibly rude and I couldn't take it anymore. I had to switch tables..wasn't next to any hot guys anymore, but anything was better than that.

 

And those are actually some pretty great tips, thanks! I'll respond to each of them..

 

1. First, that's really cute how you and that chick did that, I seriously said "aww" when I read it haha. But I get to class as early as I can. I have a class before it, that typically ends early, so I get there 10-15 minutes before class along with a majority of my classmates. Unless, I'm talking to any of my friends, in which case I get there like..right when we're supposed to. He gets there about five minutes early each class, and always sits and talks to his friends, but it's around this time where I really notice him looking at me. On Wednesday, I was sitting there, getting ready to walk out since I was skipping that day, and he walked in, and we made eye contact like...5-10 times..but he never came over to talk to me..so I didn't do anything, haha. I don't want to go and approach him and his friends, that'd be a bit awkward.

 

2. Everyone leaves at the same time. He typically bolts out the class, and I follow behind him typically. With how fast he runs out of there it'd be a little hard to talk to him..but if I tried really, really hard, maybe I could pull it off..I'd have to block his path though..

 

3. I do need to stop doing this. I bring my laptop to class along with maybe..half of the class (I actually posted this thread while in class and while my teacher was making us listen to whale songs!), so typically I'm turning it on when he walks in. If not..then I'm looking at my phone. I guess that maybe I should give him more room to actually say something instead of just ignoring him or staying on the laptop or whatever. Good advice.

 

4. This is actually the only class this semester where I don't have any friends in it. I know a few people, but none of whom that I actually talk to or want to talk to, so this isn't an issue for me.

 

5. Part of me is wondering if I should just "scream" at a random someone across the room and say "Yeah, me and "Johnny boy" broke up the other day! I'm single, ready to mingle, and looking for a guy to show me a good time. Know any?" and look in his direction with a wink and do the "what's up" nod towards him. Probably wont happen, but It'd be funny. Plus, it'd get the job done.

 

But great list, very helpful. I just can't really do the last part that you mentioned about looking him up. Yeah...250 person rooster, 80 students in my class..a majority being guys..it'll be very very hard. I'd much prefer screaming across the room what I said for #5.

 

Hmmm it sounds like a difficult gameplan. His friends are a real obstacle for both you and him. It's hard for him to get away from them and it's hard for you to infiltrate their group and hit on the guy you want. The fact you can't get to class early and he bolts out of the class room makes it much harder, honestly I think 90% of my conversations with girls occurred before and after class. Before is the conversation stage, after is the "hey let's get lunch" stage.

 

Here's something I notice girls do with me when I'm in a group that you could maybe use. If you sit near a group of guys and one of them says something outrageous or funny, maybe chime in or laugh at what they said. Doesn't even have to be the guy you like, but it breaks the wall between you and him. Now you have interacted with his group, shouldn't be too hard for him to interact with you. If he still drags his feet (by this point in the semester I'd at least have your number ) then you may have to just take the initiative and just go up and talk to him. But I can't give you advice about randomly going up to people and hitting on them, hah I struggle there myself.

[Lilmisus]

So talk to him?

 

So simple, yet so hard.

 

It's hard when he bolts out of the room and is always talking to his friends (there's four of them in our class). Directness and confidence is hot, yes, but I'm not really as confident around a group of guy friends as I'd be around one or two guys..especially considering that I'd be in class with them for another month, and if I got shot down...it'd be hard to face them every other day for the next month..ya know? I just really want to figure out how to give him the "green light" to come over and talk to me if he wants to and is as interested as I think he could be. But, if I ever see him by himself, and we make eye contact as we have been doing, then I'd definitely just go over and talk to him.

[one goal]

I wish I had more hot girls in my class. I have one smoking hot one but she has a boyfriend. The teacher is hot but that didn't work out.

[Lilmisus]

Hmmm it sounds like a difficult gameplan. His friends are a real obstacle for both you and him. It's hard for him to get away from them and it's hard for you to infiltrate their group and hit on the guy you want. The fact you can't get to class early and he bolts out of the class room makes it much harder, honestly I think 90% of my conversations with girls occurred before and after class. Before is the conversation stage, after is the "hey let's get lunch" stage.

 

Here's something I notice girls do with me when I'm in a group that you could maybe use. If you sit near a group of guys and one of them says something outrageous or funny, maybe chime in or laugh at what they said. Doesn't even have to be the guy you like, but it breaks the wall between you and him. Now you have interacted with his group, shouldn't be too hard for him to interact with you. If he still drags his feet (by this point in the semester I'd at least have your number ) then you may have to just take the initiative and just go up and talk to him. But I can't give you advice about randomly going up to people and hitting on them, hah I struggle there myself.

 

See, I could do that..I've seen them talk to many different people outside of their little group of friends..just people who've said something to them, or have done something to make them talk to them..so that wouldn't be too hard. What really sucks though is that as of now, I'm sitting as close to them as I can..and I still can't hear too much of what they're saying (Today, I thought I over heard him say he went to a strip club yesterday, then after trying to listen a bit more I realized they said doctor...). I sit near the door, and most people who are planning on coming in, swipe their ID then leave, typically sit in the seats closest to the door so that they can grab their things and leave. So typically..there's about five people in between us..today was the closest we've been in the past couple of weeks..should have gone for it today. There are just too many road blocks between us...

 

And it's not like he's been taking his time to make his way towards me. It's a few months into the semester yes, but only as of last week have I been single and been trying to get interested in other guys, and been really noticing him even though all semester I thought he was a total hottie. I'm not even 100% sure if I'm even ready to date again or if I'm even totally into this Mr. New dude..I'm just really trying to get over the ex, move on, and put myself back out on the market. Ya know? So, if this is just a dead end road, I'll be aiight and not give him another thought

[Thedude22]

And it's not like he's been taking his time to make his way towards me. It's a few months into the semester yes, but only as of last week have I been single and been trying to get interested in other guys, and been really noticing him even though all semester I thought he was a total hottie. I'm not even 100% sure if I'm even ready to date again or if I'm even totally into this Mr. New dude..I'm just really trying to get over the ex, move on, and put myself back out on the market. Ya know? So, if this is just a dead end road, I'll be aiight and not give him another thought

 

Probably will be honestly, if there hasn't been a spark already. I mean the girl I mentioned in tip #1 was in a relationship for the first two months I knew her but I was so interested in her that I let her know I would ask her out the second she broke it off with the guy. And then she did. Point is the fella should have laid the groundwork already and you guys aren't on a first name basis yet. The game is starting in the second half, I've never been successful doing that in my experience. Happened to me this semester actually, broke it off with a girl in November, tried to re-establish my flirting relationships for the next month but just didn't feel right. Haha luckily months later I can utilize facebook to re-new that with a girl I know, thank godz for the internetz.

 

 

Sounds to me like you need a fling. I've been the rebound guy lots of times and what you want is a guy who is good looking, different from your ex, and not looking to jump into a new relationship. A couple months of that and then you're ready for a real relationship with someone new generally. School relationships are good for that because after the class is over, you won't have to ever see them again if you choose not too.

[musemaj11]

This is an honest advice that I even gave to my own sister.

 

"Women can initiate. But only under two conditions; Either the guy is less attractive than you, or the guy is more on the shy side/less dominant type."

[Lilmisus]

This is an honest advice that I even gave to my own sister.

 

"Women can initiate. But only under two conditions; Either the guy is less attractive than you, or the guy is more on the shy side/less dominant type."

 

Thanks..I think?

 

Why must they be less attractive than the girl? And why can't they be the dominant type and not shy? There are dominant girls ya know and they don't care if the guy is "dominant" or not, they go after that. Is it wrong that they do? I mean, I totally get what you're saying, but I think that it's a little far fetched. It's like telling girls to only go up to a guy that they think has lower self esteem than they do because they're not as hot and are more shy than other guys. I may be alone on this..but I want a guy who has high self esteem, yet who I could still feel comfortable to go up to and initiate contact with if I wanted to.

 

I'm not looking to go up to him, sit down and ask him about his life though, but it's not because I feel that he's more attractive than I am or that he's too "dominant" for me to go up to him. It's because, like I said before, I don't feel as comfortable going up to a group of guy friends as opposed to one or two guys. I also am only looking to get him to know that I'm interested and to make him make a move. Ya know...leave his friends, come up to me and actually..I dunno..talk to me. It'd be just a little weird if I just went up to him and his friends out of nowhere and just said "hey! You're cute! Wanna go out?" Ya know? But..if I catch him by himself and if we make "flirty" eye contact again, you bet I'll jump on that

[Lilmisus]

Probably will be honestly, if there hasn't been a spark already. I mean the girl I mentioned in tip #1 was in a relationship for the first two months I knew her but I was so interested in her that I let her know I would ask her out the second she broke it off with the guy. And then she did. Point is the fella should have laid the groundwork already and you guys aren't on a first name basis yet. The game is starting in the second half, I've never been successful doing that in my experience. Happened to me this semester actually, broke it off with a girl in November, tried to re-establish my flirting relationships for the next month but just didn't feel right. Haha luckily months later I can utilize facebook to re-new that with a girl I know, thank godz for the internetz.

 

 

Sounds to me like you need a fling. I've been the rebound guy lots of times and what you want is a guy who is good looking, different from your ex, and not looking to jump into a new relationship. A couple months of that and then you're ready for a real relationship with someone new generally. School relationships are good for that because after the class is over, you won't have to ever see them again if you choose not too.

 

Yup..I need a fling. A rebound. A booty call. Casually dating. Friends with benefits. Whatever you wanna call it.

 

It's horrible because my ex made me promise that this is the one thing that I wouldn't do...go after guys right after breaking up (especially since we're remaining friends), since his high school ex did him like that and had sex with dozens of guys the weeks right after breaking up with him and he lost all respect for her because of that (who can blame him..). They tried dating again months later, but according to him, she was just a whore to him after that, and it changed his perspective on all women, and it changed how he treated them (which went from treating great, to treating them horribly). Our relationship played out the way it did because of that, and it went extremely slow due to this fact and because I was more of a hope for him that not all girls are like that. He doesn't want me to prove him wrong..and I don't either. But..this guy is really really hot...

 

So I'm trying not to think of this Mr. New Dude as just a one night stand/couple dates type guy and more of someone who I could date for a little while if not seriously, just to get me back into the groove of things. But I'm sure that if anything ignites between us..that's all it will be, since I'm really not ready for anything more, not for a couple months like you said. But...you're right, with how late in the game this is, probably nothing will even happen..and if that's so..oh well.

[musemaj11]

Thanks..I think?

 

Why must they be less attractive than the girl? And why can't they be the dominant type and not shy? There are dominant girls ya know and they don't care if the guy is "dominant" or not, they go after that. Is it wrong that they do? I mean, I totally get what you're saying, but I think that it's a little far fetched. It's like telling girls to only go up to a guy that they think has lower self esteem than they do because they're not as hot and are more shy than other guys. I may be alone on this..but I want a guy who has high self esteem, yet who I could still feel comfortable to go up to and initiate contact with if I wanted to.

 

I'm not looking to go up to him, sit down and ask him about his life though, but it's not because I feel that he's more attractive than I am or that he's too "dominant" for me to go up to him. It's because, like I said before, I don't feel as comfortable going up to a group of guy friends as opposed to one or two guys. I also am only looking to get him to know that I'm interested and to make him make a move. Ya know...leave his friends, come up to me and actually..I dunno..talk to me. It'd be just a little weird if I just went up to him and his friends out of nowhere and just said "hey! You're cute! Wanna go out?" Ya know? But..if I catch him by himself and if we make "flirty" eye contact again, you bet I'll jump on that

A dominant and handsome man doesnt have a problem getting any woman he wants and if you initiate first, chances are he is not going to be very appreciative and he is just going to treat you as another notch on his belt. Thats my point.

 

But then again, if you just wanna bang him and add him to your own belt in the first place then go ahead, you have nothing to lose.