aerogurl87 Posted March 25, 2011 Share Posted March 25, 2011 Ok so a little background. My boyfriend and I were in a LDR for a little over a year and about 2 and a half weeks ago I moved to be with him. :bunny: Anyway since we hadn't looked into apartments together before I came here, we came to an agreement with his parents that we could stay with them (boyfriend was already living at home when I moved) until May. We'd both pay rent (a total of 800 bucks a month) to live here. And I was fine with that. Another thing that had already been spoken about was our sleeping arrangements. My boyfriend had talked to his dad who said he was cool with us sleeping together as long as we didn't make it blatantly obvious to his sister who is still a bit young. So we were discreet about it and all out of respect to them. And then his stupid overbearing, non-fair mother had to step in. She comes to his room one night and knocks on the door and threatens to kick us out for sleeping together at night. Note, we've been discreet about this like his father asked, so up until oh I don't know, a few days ago everything was fine. She wails at us though and tells us that we're wrong for what we're doing, blah blah blah. To add fuel to fire my boyfriend's aunt tells her that she needs to lay off of us because 1) we're both adults and 2) we're paying rent. Might I add more money in rent than they pay for their mortgage per month. That's right, we're paying more money to rent out rooms in their house than they pay for their freaking mortgage and yet we have no say in where we sleep! It's funny though because their little daughter is a spoiled brat and gets away with any and everything and all her mommy does is come to her rescue every single time. Anyway this is a rant I guess, because I'm sick of living here now. My boyfriend and I are going to go see some apartments soon and he wants to move out at the beginning of April. I'm in full agreement because I'm tired of his mother. Link to post Share on other sites
Minnie09 Posted March 25, 2011 Share Posted March 25, 2011 You've been living there for only 2.5 weeks and there's already that much tension? Holy crap. Try to find your own place and hopefully the MIL will back off a little. I hope your BF is able to stand up for himself, too. Link to post Share on other sites
tigressA Posted March 25, 2011 Share Posted March 25, 2011 The house legally belongs to his parents, and while you are living under their roof you have to follow their rules, no matter how much money you're paying in rent. That being said, this sounds like a good cop/bad cop situation to me. From your post it seems that approval was only given from one side. Your BF's "stupid, non-fair, overbearing" mother most likely was not even consulted about the sleeping arrangements and he only went to his father because he knew he would be more lenient and give him the approval he wanted. The resulting tension is what happens when kids take advantage of parents not talking to each other and compromising together. You all, or at the very least your BF's parents, need to have a sit-down discussion about this--and yes, do try to get your own place ASAP. Link to post Share on other sites
desertIslandCactus Posted March 25, 2011 Share Posted March 25, 2011 I'm going under the assumption that the total $800. rent payed for two rooms? $400. per room is about average these days. As Tigressa said, you do have to abide by the rules in their home. Should you wish to act like so-called "adults" and in a sexual relationship, then you should get another place. Link to post Share on other sites
Author aerogurl87 Posted March 25, 2011 Author Share Posted March 25, 2011 Well we're going to move out as soon as possible. We wouldn't have lived here period, but my boyfriend wanted me to come see apartments with him instead of just picking one out himself before I moved here. And it's a lil more than his dad being lenient. His mom just hates him, and therefore she hates me as well. She already tried to choke him about a year ago and she's always yelling at him about something. Yet her little daughter gets treated like a princess and walks all over her. That's something else I'm tired of seeing cause I hate seeing bad children who do not respect their parents. And no it's supposed to be us renting out one room, but when I moved in his mom was adamant about me having another room in the house. The tension comes from his mom just being an ignorant b*tch. She already tried to convince my boyfriend and his dad that I was out to get knocked up by my boyfriend so I could run off and take all his money through child support. Then when they didn't buy that, she said that I was part of a cult and trying to get my boyfriend to join it as well. I really do not like her. Link to post Share on other sites
Tayla Posted March 25, 2011 Share Posted March 25, 2011 (edited) Not familiar with tenant laws in canada, yet I do beleive you fall under that category as a paying room/board. Check with a legal advisor on what rights you have. The rent could also cover all utilities etc... ANyways, the discreet ones were you and not the mother. Just because you reside with your boyfriends relatives doesnt mean you dont have the right as a paying tenant to have privacy. Sometimes you have to ignore the growl and go on with a smile! I pray you both find a place soon. Edited March 26, 2011 by Tayla Link to post Share on other sites
Els Posted March 26, 2011 Share Posted March 26, 2011 Huh.. 800/month? SURELY you can find a bedroom for less than that outside?? Share the house with a couple of other youths if you have to? Link to post Share on other sites
sweetjasmine Posted March 26, 2011 Share Posted March 26, 2011 The house legally belongs to his parents, and while you are living under their roof you have to follow their rules, no matter how much money you're paying in rent. That being said, this sounds like a good cop/bad cop situation to me. From your post it seems that approval was only given from one side. Your BF's "stupid, non-fair, overbearing" mother most likely was not even consulted about the sleeping arrangements and he only went to his father because he knew he would be more lenient and give him the approval he wanted. The resulting tension is what happens when kids take advantage of parents not talking to each other and compromising together. You all, or at the very least your BF's parents, need to have a sit-down discussion about this--and yes, do try to get your own place ASAP. I agree with you, Tigress, though depending on the laws, the situation might be a little different. But still, it's a matter of respect. Even though the mother sounds like a piece of work, it's still her home. Sometimes when my SO and I visit my parents, we end up having to stay, and it's always in separate rooms because my parents are uncomfortable with us sharing a room/bed even though we live together. It's their home, and neither of us has ever had a problem with it. When we visit his family, we share a room because they don't mind. AG, from the mother's perspective, you're essentially a stranger suddenly living in her home with the rest of her family and sleeping with her son. Keep in mind that a lot of parents have trouble with something like that in their home even if they like their child's partner. Find a new place as soon as you can. It'll be better for you, your boyfriend, and his mom. And then maybe she can actually look at you for who you are instead of going crazy over paranoid thoughts. Honestly, I don't understand why your boyfriend would have you move into his parents' home when his mother has been abusive towards him and hates you, too. It doesn't make any sense. Link to post Share on other sites
Author aerogurl87 Posted March 26, 2011 Author Share Posted March 26, 2011 Huh.. 800/month? SURELY you can find a bedroom for less than that outside?? Share the house with a couple of other youths if you have to? Yep 800 bucks a month which is better than what she wanted. She wanted us paying 1000 a month, but my boyfriend's dad talked her down to 800. We're moving out at the beginning of the month though probably if this apartment we found works out. It's only 650 a month and includes 2 bedrooms and 1 bathroom. So yeah I do think 800 is outrageous especially when you compare it to that. Sweetjasmine I honestly wouldn't mind sleeping in separate rooms if my boyfriend's dad hadn't said us sleeping together was fine as long as we were discreet about it. Oddly enough his mother hasn't said anything else about us sleeping together since the last time she railed at us. I think his dad talked to her or something, it seems like it since she is now giving me the evil eye and ignored me all night at dinner when his extended family came to visit. Link to post Share on other sites
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