mousetom78 Posted April 2, 2004 Share Posted April 2, 2004 4 weeks ago, she packed her bags and left me on my first day of my new job. I came home to a empty room surprised from my new job. We dated for a year and we have been together for 2 years including 1 year engagement. I am 25 and she is 19. After she left, I found out that she is not happy with her life with me. She accused of being controlling. She wanted to have space to party and try out other things in life. Well, we went through a lot during our relationship including abortion, moving together, engagement, and everything. Her family never liked me because I am 6 years older and I am asian. We had our fights and normal relationship problems but nothing I thought would result to a breakup. Well, we met each other 3 years ago. I felt for her right away. We finally hook up a year later. We were fine and no fights during first few months of relationship. We finally got engaged March, 2003. We had our first fight soon after that. However, as I mentioned earlier her family don't like me. Her family began to hate me even more after the engagement. They accused me of controlling her by purposing and lock her up in life. Comment was made for me buying her a "fake or cheap" ring when I spent well over a thousand for a ring over a karat total weight. Anyhow, her family finally gave her an ultimatum. It is going to either me or them. They kicked her out so I had to to move in with my parent's house to live with me. My room is a small room so it isn't enough space for both of us. It had become very stressful for both of us. She accused me of spending too much money on my car and stuff and not helping her to get her car on the road. I helped her to buy an used car with borrowed money from a buddy. However, she didn't have money to put it on the road with insurance and other inspection, tax and title fee. I would let her drive my car to work. There were times that we got into major argument over the car situation. I helped somewhat, but I didn't help all the way because I wanted her to earn her way. 3 weeks ago, she packed her bags and left me. We dated for a year and we have been together for 2 years including 1 year engagement. I am 25 and she is 19. After she left, I found out that she is not happy with her life with me. She accused of being controlling. She wanted to have space to party and try out other things in life. Well, we went through a lot during our relationship including abortion, moving together, engagement, and everything. Her family never liked me because I am 6 years older and I am asian. We had our fights and normal relationship problems but nothing I thought would result to a breakup. Well, we met each other 3 years ago. I felt for her right away. We finally hook up a year later. We were fine and no fights during first few months of relationship. We finally got engaged March, 2003. We had our first fight soon after that. However, as I mentioned earlier her family don't like me. Her family began to hate me even more after the engagement. They accused me of controlling her by purposing and lock her up in life. Comment was made for me buying her a "fake or cheap" ring when I spent well over a thousand for a ring over a karat total weight. Anyhow, her family finally gave her an ultimatum. It is going to either me or them. They kicked her out so I had to to move in with my parent's house to live with me. My room is a small room so it isn't enough space for both of us. It had become very stressful for both of us. She accused me of spending too much money on my car and stuff and not helping her to get her car on the road. I helped her to buy an used car with borrowed money from a buddy. However, she didn't have money to put it on the road with insurance and other inspection, tax and title fee. I would let her drive my car to work. There were times that we got into major argument over the car situation. Finally it became our breaking point. Since she left, we talked and met up a few times. We had sex a couple times. She said she don't want any relationship and she wants to date around. However, she still says "She loves me" and "I miss you" on the phone. I wanted her back by my side as bf/gf again. I tried my hardest to get her back. It seems that it is messing my life up. As I mentioned earlier, I got a new job. I wasn't performing too well at my new job. Today, I got terminated because it wasn't working out. I called her first. We had a conversion. She just cried on the phone after I told her the news. This girl seems to be afraid to come back to me because she thinks that I try to tell her how to do it or what to do. How can i handle this mix-messages? I am so afraid to lose her and my life is in a mess right now. Can someone help?[font=arial][/font][color=black][/color] Link to post Share on other sites
hurtingandconfused Posted April 3, 2004 Share Posted April 3, 2004 We had sex a couple times. She said she don't want any relationship and she wants to date around. However, she still says "She loves me" and "I miss you" on the phone. She's using you for sex. She told you that she did not want a relationship right now. I honestly think that she will not change her mind anytime soon. If she was still "in love" with you ...she would want to work things out rather than "date around." How can i handle this mix-messages? Simple. Do not communicate with her. She's playing with your emotions. I know its hard to let go but I see it as a must. You must set your priorities straight. I am so afraid to lose her and my life is in a mess right now. If you were meant to be you shouldn't be afraid to lose her. Take this time to fix your problems.(including your ex) And if it makes you feel better type away. People will listen and they will write back. Link to post Share on other sites
Author mousetom78 Posted April 9, 2004 Author Share Posted April 9, 2004 I can't keep her off my mind. I tried to go to bar, club, hanging out with friends and everything in world. Well, she was by my side everydays of the week for past 2-3 years. We are hanging out and talk on the phone lately. It seems that she don't want to get back with me "right away" or "anytime soon". We should have the chemistry together when we go out on a date or hanging out together. However, it is very painful to not have her together as a couple. It has been a month now as of yesterday and it has been the most painful month in my life. Her and I can sit down almost argee that somehow we will end up together because we are made for each other. However, she is very afraid to come back to me because she don't think she can be happy around me and she don't know what she wants now in her life at 19. As I mentioned earlier, I lost my new job because I can't keep my head up. Well, I am looking for a job and I am doing ok money wise because unemployment is coming and they are paying me 2 weeks. I am buying a house as soon as I got a new job. It is my goal to set priority in life. Link to post Share on other sites
hurtingandconfused Posted April 10, 2004 Share Posted April 10, 2004 Read this: Her and I can sit down almost argee that somehow we will end up together because we are made for each other. Now this: she is very afraid to come back to me because she don't think she can be happy around me They do not go together. It does not make any sense. If you want to continue talking to your ex you will never start to feel better about yourself. Link to post Share on other sites
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