somedude81 Posted March 27, 2011 Share Posted March 27, 2011 The worst thing would be to have children, then get divorced when they are still young. That's a sure fire way to mess up the life of a person. My parents got married very young and were "good christian people" They got divorced when I was three and my brother only a few months old. Both of us turned into screwed up adults. Link to post Share on other sites
TheLoneSock Posted March 27, 2011 Share Posted March 27, 2011 hahha what last word? You are delusional. I was here way before you, don't flatter yourself in thinking this is the only thread I read -example: this thread is like a car wreck, no matter how bad it is you just have to look-. I did not call you dumb either. If you have an education please show it by not being so ignorant. Oh, nice decision making by the way and great job by cheating . I'm sure many people here are fond and accepting of the idea of cheating on spouses. Sorry you didn't receive the validation you yearned for in here. That was nothing but inflammatory and childish, as was your last post. You just proved her point. So she didn't like your advice, so what, she doesn't have to - get over it. If that drives you to only have deconstructive things to say, butt out of the thread. Link to post Share on other sites
TheLoneSock Posted March 27, 2011 Share Posted March 27, 2011 Linnbby, I gather from everything that's been said that you are against getting a divorce if at all possible. I think this is admirable, and you should stand your ground for your beliefs. Personally, I would hate to see you hold onto something that may hurt you in the long run. But if you truly believe that your situation is salvageable, that your husband is forgivable, and that you can remain %100 faithful to him - then you know more than anyone that you have to hold onto it. That decision is between you, your husband and God. You can absorb or disregard all the advice in the world but in the end only your heart will know the real answers. Another important thing to remember is that you have to love yourself. One sin that is rarely spoken of is self abuse. If you are keeping yourself in a situation that is slowly damaging you, yet you have the power to stop it - it is your responsibility to do so. Remember that God's wish for you is first and foremost your happiness. Your love for yourself is second only in importance to your love for Him. That means respect for yourself, and having the courage to walk away from something harmful. This is a difficult struggle for you because you also have your vows and your oath to remain true to. I am in no way advocating getting a divorce, nor am I advocating staying in your marriage - because that is not my place to say. The answers to your questions will only be revealed to you through Him, not through this board or any other media. The only thing I will say is to keep doing what you're doing. Consult with your pastor, have more heart to hearts with your man, and above all don't let your praying knees get lazy - speak to Him often. I'll also leave you with this, it's Hebrews 8:12 "For I will be merciful regarding their wrong deeds, and I will never again remember their sins." Remember that it's OK to make mistakes. If you ask for forgiveness in true earnest, God will give it. If God Himself will not remember your mistakes in the end, what business do you have beating yourself up over them? So don't be overly conscious of the things you are going through right now - you are not a disappointment to God. No matter the end result of all this, He will be with you in the end. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Linnbby Posted March 27, 2011 Author Share Posted March 27, 2011 That was nothing but inflammatory and childish, as was your last post. You just proved her point. So she didn't like your advice, so what, she doesn't have to - get over it. If that drives you to only have deconstructive things to say, butt out of the thread. Thank you so much. I definitely would rather talk to an intelligent one like you. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Linnbby Posted March 27, 2011 Author Share Posted March 27, 2011 Linnbby, I gather from everything that's been said that you are against getting a divorce if at all possible. I think this is admirable, and you should stand your ground for your beliefs. Personally, I would hate to see you hold onto something that may hurt you in the long run. But if you truly believe that your situation is salvageable, that your husband is forgivable, and that you can remain %100 faithful to him - then you know more than anyone that you have to hold onto it. That decision is between you, your husband and God. You can absorb or disregard all the advice in the world but in the end only your heart will know the real answers. Another important thing to remember is that you have to love yourself. One sin that is rarely spoken of is self abuse. If you are keeping yourself in a situation that is slowly damaging you, yet you have the power to stop it - it is your responsibility to do so. Remember that God's wish for you is first and foremost your happiness. Your love for yourself is second only in importance to your love for Him. That means respect for yourself, and having the courage to walk away from something harmful. This is a difficult struggle for you because you also have your vows and your oath to remain true to. I am in no way advocating getting a divorce, nor am I advocating staying in your marriage - because that is not my place to say. The answers to your questions will only be revealed to you through Him, not through this board or any other media. The only thing I will say is to keep doing what you're doing. Consult with your pastor, have more heart to hearts with your man, and above all don't let your praying knees get lazy - speak to Him often. I'll also leave you with this, it's Hebrews 8:12 "For I will be merciful regarding their wrong deeds, and I will never again remember their sins." Remember that it's OK to make mistakes. If you ask for forgiveness in true earnest, God will give it. If God Himself will not remember your mistakes in the end, what business do you have beating yourself up over them? So don't be overly conscious of the things you are going through right now - you are not a disappointment to God. No matter the end result of all this, He will be with you in the end. You didn't judge me. Thank you so much, this has brought tears to my eyes & its because you understand, probably even more than my pastor. I'm gonna continue to read this for enlightenment whenever I become unsure. And your definitely right about loving yourself before you love someone else because I am hurting inside but I dont want to leave in fear of hurting him, I can care less about my feelings. Once again , thank you. God speaks through you & your a blessed individual. Please continue to help others out Link to post Share on other sites
Author Linnbby Posted March 27, 2011 Author Share Posted March 27, 2011 The worst thing would be to have children, then get divorced when they are still young. That's a sure fire way to mess up the life of a person. My parents got married very young and were "good christian people" They got divorced when I was three and my brother only a few months old. Both of us turned into screwed up adults. Oh my, I could imagine! I could not do such a selfish thing to a child & the man I have my child with will be my husband and not my "baby's daddy" it is tough for a child to go through that, but you were strong enough to do so! Link to post Share on other sites
Eddie Edirol Posted March 27, 2011 Share Posted March 27, 2011 But good news, god answered my prayers lastnight as I sent an email to my pastor. I asked god for guidance & the next day I got the best advice of my life. The pastor respectfully told me what I knew all along, there's no need for divorce. & today I've talked to my husband heart to heart , which I haven't done in a long time. It was very emotional & I feel much better. We both are seeking individual counseling as well as marriage counseling, which is really needed. . Ah, so basically you just did what some people in this thread suggested, but you only did it after the pastor said to? You really needed a pastor to tell you to have a heart to heart with your husband? Really? Sure. Link to post Share on other sites
BlindRage Posted March 27, 2011 Share Posted March 27, 2011 (edited) Thank you so much. I definitely would rather talk to an intelligent one like you. So mature Ah, so basically you just did what some people in this thread suggested, but you only did it after the pastor said to? You really needed a pastor to tell you to have a heart to heart with your husband? Really? Sure. My point exactly -but way better put though-. Edited March 27, 2011 by BlindRage Link to post Share on other sites
pennyflame Posted March 27, 2011 Share Posted March 27, 2011 If you've gotten to a point where there a physical altercations, you can't speak to each other and you're not spending anytime together what is there left to fix? You two need to part right now before the situation gets worse.. I mean if you are still have sex what if you end up pregnant, then there's a baby in the mix of horrible fighting. Just sit down with him and talk and come to an ultimate decision. Obviously if you married him you two got along at one time, if nothing else maybe you can at least salvage the friendship. But no one should be in an abusive relationship, if you can't talk about it calmly you're done. The first person was right you need a divorce. But hun, this is your decision of course and I know leaving someone you love is never easy even if you know its not right... Do what is right and seek support on here... in fact, I've been in a similar situation if you need someone to talk to heres my email address [email protected] Btw... God won't fix the situation but he will give you the strength to either move on or fix it yourself... Link to post Share on other sites
Author Linnbby Posted March 27, 2011 Author Share Posted March 27, 2011 Ah, so basically you just did what some people in this thread suggested, but you only did it after the pastor said to? You really needed a pastor to tell you to have a heart to heart with your husband? Really? Sure. Why are you guys so wrapped up in what I choose to do? You gave me what I asked for, which is advice & it's my decision to take or not. If you can't deal with somebody not handling things in the direction you want, you shouldn't give your opinion then. Remember your opinion was free willed, no one made you come here or comment. Honestly all you had to do in actuality were to be happy for me, no matter the decision, but in some cases I have to remember misery loves company & I guess that age truly does not signify maturity. Thanks for your advice and I wish you the best of luck Hun. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Linnbby Posted March 27, 2011 Author Share Posted March 27, 2011 If you've gotten to a point where there a physical altercations, you can't speak to each other and you're not spending anytime together what is there left to fix? You two need to part right now before the situation gets worse.. I mean if you are still have sex what if you end up pregnant, then there's a baby in the mix of horrible fighting. Just sit down with him and talk and come to an ultimate decision. Obviously if you married him you two got along at one time, if nothing else maybe you can at least salvage the friendship. But no one should be in an abusive relationship, if you can't talk about it calmly you're done. The first person was right you need a divorce. But hun, this is your decision of course and I know leaving someone you love is never easy even if you know its not right... Do what is right and seek support on here... in fact, I've been in a similar situation if you need someone to talk to heres my email address [email protected] Btw... God won't fix the situation but he will give you the strength to either move on or fix it yourself... Thanks cupcake. If I had someone to say this to me in the beginning , I probably wouldn't have had to come here in the first place. I will take your offer and email you if it starts to get really tough for me. Thank you Link to post Share on other sites
Author Linnbby Posted March 27, 2011 Author Share Posted March 27, 2011 So mature My point exactly -but way better put though-. Reported for harassment. Have a great day Link to post Share on other sites
highviolet Posted March 27, 2011 Share Posted March 27, 2011 Reported for harassment. Have a great day Are you for realz? Link to post Share on other sites
linwood Posted March 27, 2011 Share Posted March 27, 2011 We're so young, I'm 19 he's 21. What do you think it's best for me to do? If you have no children get out now. Get a divorce, live a fun filled happy safe young life. Don`t even consider marrying again until you`re close to thirty. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Linnbby Posted March 27, 2011 Author Share Posted March 27, 2011 If you have no children get out now. Get a divorce, live a fun filled happy safe young life. Don`t even consider marrying again until you`re close to thirty. Probably more like 50.. Lol. Thnx! Link to post Share on other sites
caliprincess Posted March 28, 2011 Share Posted March 28, 2011 you are so young! I got married at 23 and it was too young. I'd say definitely separate. Link to post Share on other sites
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