yes Posted April 2, 2004 Share Posted April 2, 2004 i'm fine... breathing breathing. just talked to my ex on the phone for a while. sounds like he rlly wants to be friends. mixed emotions: - if i met him now, i don't think i'd be overly fond of him - hearing him brings up that painful feeling of LOSS: it just pains me to feel that he likes me, admires me, wants to be friends with me, but i don't have a special place in his heart - i feel sad(?) thinking all my obsessing with him was really anxiety/stess/etc of other things mixed with loneliness, that this wasn't love at all... that's my update. -yes Link to post Share on other sites
moimeme Posted April 2, 2004 Share Posted April 2, 2004 hearing him brings up that painful feeling of LOSS Best reason of all to cut off contact. i feel sad(?) thinking all my obsessing with him was really anxiety/stess/etc of other things mixed with loneliness, that this wasn't love at all... I don't think this is a case of either/or. It's just that the stress mixed with the loss took a heavy toll. Link to post Share on other sites
Darkangelism Posted April 2, 2004 Share Posted April 2, 2004 Give yourselff more time. Link to post Share on other sites
Author yes Posted April 2, 2004 Author Share Posted April 2, 2004 i've done the no-contact thing several times, for many months, and it didn't help. partially b/c i just kept on building this great illusion of him, and when i did get a glimpse of him (same school, hard to never ever see him), it'd destroy me for the day, and i'd usually end up contacting him. so i'm hoping that by staying in touch, it'll be easier to stick to the real version of him and dissipate the illusion i created. besides, we have many friends in common, and i've been losing out on these friendships by avoiding him. I don't think this is a case of either/or. It's just that the stress mixed with the loss took a heavy toll. --- Good point -yes PS Da-ism - yes, it will take some time. It's partially about this period of my life nearing completion - i'm graduating, going away for the summer, my college days are almost over, so is this obsession-love with the ex... i can just see myself when i'm seventy, missing these days... god, why am i such a sap??! Link to post Share on other sites
Darkangelism Posted April 2, 2004 Share Posted April 2, 2004 Where are you going for the summer. Link to post Share on other sites
meanon Posted April 2, 2004 Share Posted April 2, 2004 You will always have a special place in each other's hearts, yes. He wouldn't really want to be friends otherwise. I think you loved him, it's just that there were many other factors that came in to play and prevented you from fully letting him go and in the end that became a problem. When we love we become willfully blind to our loved one's faults. It's a good sign that this effect is wearing off. Good news Link to post Share on other sites
shellen Posted April 6, 2004 Share Posted April 6, 2004 yup graduation...good time to wrap things up and move on to a new phase in life... But I dunno if ill be able to look back and think I miss my college years. Four years of my college life, my ex has always been a part of it. From the initial get to know him stage (year one), get-together stage (year two and three) and the get over him stage (coming fourth year and counting). So if i reminescent my colleges days, ill definitely remember him and the first three years of happiness certainly don't measure up to the last year of heartaches, tears, depression and misery. So i rather forget my college days for good. Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts