dreamingoftigers Posted March 27, 2011 Share Posted March 27, 2011 I missed that. Sorry. So what you want is for people simply to say they understand but not to offer any solutions? OMG, no wonder the guys can't get that. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Mrlonelyone Posted March 27, 2011 Author Share Posted March 27, 2011 More or less simple human empathy. I want pretty much the same thing from a SO or a friend even. I want someone who can say you know what .. I know how you feel. hug. That's what would make me not be lonely. I mean TBH the "solution" to this problem depends on the situation and it's different every time. So no solution offered would really work. It's a dynamic real time interaction between two people. @Leaningin I don't consider it arguing. I see that the people who can empathize with what I deal with also have jobs that are technical and somewhat more on the "hard science" end of things. I was trying to explain what I deal with to people who perhaps aren't in that area or who haven't had the situation come up yet. @eddie I don't refuse to "dumb down" out of pride. It's more like this... People can tell when things are being simplified for them. A large number of people take offense to that. i.e. Zengirl saying that if I used a very standard diagram to explain something to her she would find it condescending. It's like some people take any implication that I might have actually learned anything in all my years of study as an insult to their intelligence. This is the second most common reaction I get. There seem to be people who for some reason (cough racism cough) can't imagine that I could actually know what I'm talking about at all. Some people who for whatever reason (cough stereotypes ahem) that someone like me would not have interest in such a thing. I know you hate the "race card"...but there are some legit times that I think it's played a role. This is being said to you by a black member of the tea party. So I don't make this point lightly at all. Link to post Share on other sites
dreamingoftigers Posted March 27, 2011 Share Posted March 27, 2011 I can completely empathize with you want to be empathized with! You do realize that most of the posters that responded to you are male though? They are going to be solution-based! Link to post Share on other sites
Author Mrlonelyone Posted March 27, 2011 Author Share Posted March 27, 2011 Yeah well lets say that many of the males I deal with on a weekly basis... have a stronger feminine side.... The females have a strong masculine side... and well we just sort of buck the general trends. :LMFAO: Link to post Share on other sites
dreamingoftigers Posted March 28, 2011 Share Posted March 28, 2011 Oh no, I hear you, it just isn't across the board on here though. I don't see Johan getting in touch with his 'inner-non-solver.' Their way of helping is to toss out things that may change the situation for you. What you want is to be understood where you stand. You want people to see that you aren't asking for their help in finding a solution because you can probably find one on your own or you are convinced none exists. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Mrlonelyone Posted March 28, 2011 Author Share Posted March 28, 2011 Pretty much. It's a problem that perhaps takes the same form many times.. but the specific details are different. It was nice to hear that I wasn't the only one. Link to post Share on other sites
SummersEve Posted March 28, 2011 Share Posted March 28, 2011 I think it's nice that you don't go on and on about your work when you first meet someone. Also, I think there can be long dry spells between finding those special ones, and it's just hard. Link to post Share on other sites
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